Jack Monroe #392 This is why ppl cook you on that gossip app innit

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Jack is secretly a tory, Jack claims she hates torys yet dated alagra mcevedy when she was going through her lesbian phase. Jack also worked as a sex worker, not paying taxes and claiming benefits for being a single mum (despite jonnys dad having shared custody) she must be fiddling tax because how does one woman afford to rent such a nice bungalow in one of the nicest areas in the UK, she only wears designer brands, has a designer dog, £150 a month ritalin prescription, lip fillers, the list goes on. Jack will say its libel though cause anything that rings true that doesn't fit her narrative is libel.

Imagine buying designer clothes but using shampoo to wash clothes and boiled soap for shower gel, definitely doesn't have her priorities straight.
 
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Trsut me, Jack was never a sex worker. The shitting dog would have been eaten alive on her first shift. It's just more pov wank fantasy for the neckbeard mention men.
 
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Our intrepid heroine seems to have returned around 9.45. She immediately took aim at Martin Daubney.

She then discovered Lawrence Fox, cad that he is, had donated £5 to her appeal. She immediately donated his fiver to the Trussel Fund. Given that, it is perhaps not unreasonable to assume that is where all the unneeded donations went. They are a worthy cause close to Jacks heart ( see Tee Mill).

Fearing Daubney was unaware of who he was up against, Jack sensibly decided to enlighten him. Alas, Mr Daubney seemed unimpressed.

You’re wondering about Pat aren’t you? Wonder no longer…

Anything seemed possible on that exciting night

But there was a certain unhappiness brewing. Questions were beginning to be asked….

.. and not all of them from Lozza.
So by 23.07 Jack had deleted the tweet asking for donations to her PayPal account



By 1.12 pm Saturday 14th May, Jack was able to share with us that she had instructed her lawyer. Is poor Pat in included under “and co”? Surely not!

After this stern announcement, little was shared about the upcoming case until May 20, when Jack confirmed that lawyers letters had been fired off and public apologies demanded. The interesting bit is at around 11.02 although it’s all good. Jack tells Us all about her 120 hour week. It’s very moving.


Fortunately, given that I can find no apologies from any of the gentlemen named by Jack, by May 28th she had a crack team of paralegals on the case

So is there an ongoing lawsuit or have matters been quietly settled out of court?
Happily, from our point of view none of that matters, because as recently as August 26th, Jack tweeted this…




I can hardly contain my excitement to find out exactly how much money was donated to Jacks PayPal account that night. The Trussell fund must surely have received more than Lozzas fiver. Or perhaps the money went to some other, equally worthy, cause?
Just tell us Jack, you know you’re dying too and after all transparency isn’t just for tories,
 
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Edited because I started to talk about my menopause *wine
I've been back at work this week, in a poorly paid job, JACK, try it! I have to say that Jenny numbers not only shares my real life name (shortened form ) but is the Frau who regularly makes me
 
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Not quite sure what I’ve done here, I seem to have spoilered half the post and not the other. I’m not sure how to fix it. Is there a friendly moderate in the house?
 
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Cor blimey it's Sweeney Jack making orrible pies. Poor lodger is pie fodder now. Did she get Harold and the taxman too?


Speaking of Sweeney Todd, did y'all know that it's cockney rhyming slang for Flying Squad? In other words, polis! Perhaps Jack is sending us secret signals.
 
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Great work @GrannyOgg! I'm currently making a black pudding and blue cheese pie with your name on it to thank you for everything you do .

(But seriously, great work!)
 
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it's all so very, very dull but

baby dyson? i can only find toys under this description. is she thinking of those tiny usb henrys that hoover your keyboard?



car and boat dyson? a snip at £150 for a handheld vacuum



a hard broom? priceless
 
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I am struggling to understand how someone can rave about how much better hard brushes are than Hoovers and then later the same day spill verbal diarrhoea about the joys of Hoovers unless they are either deliberately trolling or have dementia.

(Maybe that's the next self diagnosis...)
 
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Great work @GrannyOgg! I'm currently making a black pudding and blue cheese pie with your name on it to thank you for everything you do .

(But seriously, great work!)
It’s not perfect but pretty much everything that matters is there I think. Some kind mod will hopefully fix the mess i made of the second part.
Strangest Saturday night I’ve ever spent. What did I miss?
 
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I think this was a good step, whoever took it. If she claimed to be collecting the money for charity *or indeed* if she misrepresented her financial circumstances to trick people to send money then that is fraud.

Obviously action fraud might investigate quite slowly but that doesn't mean they aren't looking into it.
 
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I've been back at work this week, in a poorly paid job, JACK, try it! I have to say that Jenny numbers not only shares my real life name (shortened form ) but is the Frau who regularly makes me
This is my latest favourite Jenny numbers post, I think about it every time I brush my teeth. “Just a blob of Colgate”





On topic, it’s mad to think that this evening Jack sat and ate her name and some stars made from undercooked pastry.
 
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Vlad chose the wrong day to try to flog pies to me although fortunately no prunes are involved
 
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See squigs, your money is going on over-hyped & expensive Dysons. My Miele is much better (& a LOT cheaper) than my old Dyson and I gather that many other brands are also better than those made by that hypocritical suction-botherer.
Also isn't James Dyson a Tory Brexit loving arsehole who cut jobs and or wages? I could be confusing him with someone else though. But if not then Jack is endorsing a fellow crony.
 
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Here’s part one so they are fairly close together
 
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