Jack Monroe #359 Hoops I Did It Again

[FlirtyThirty]

Sooooo, as promised, I've forensically analysed a Jack recipe, in this case Simple Tomato and Bean Soup.
I've used the package data from the packaged stuff, and the SELF website date for the fresh food.
1 carrot (using 1 US cup as an average carrot) – 52 calories

2 garlic cloves 8 calories

I medium onion 44 calories

Stock made with a cube 30 calories

Asda baked beans per tin 330 calories –
minus 70 for the sauce being rinsed 260 calories
Asda chopped tomatoes 1 tin 310 calories
Total calories 704
Recipe is for four people so 176 calories per person.

If this is an entire meal it is not nutritionally adequate for a growing child - you would have to add a couple of slices of bread and butter to bring it up to around 400 calories. No mention of the tiny calorie count in the recipe itself.
Jack describes it as "a hearty, filling soup suitable for lunch or a light supper" - at 176 calories it is neither hearty nor filling. And the costing of 20p per portion is misleading, since a quarter of that recipe would not fill a shrew.

I did this with the recipes those well meaning but stupid students printed out when they were making food parcels to fit her recipes. I think only one of them had enough calories to come close to a decent meal (like 600 or something)

this is why they are cheap. They wouldn’t sustain health! She’s a bleeping con artist of the highest magnitude.

 

[KebabGirl]

Sooooo, as promised, I've forensically analysed a Jack recipe, in this case Simple Tomato and Bean Soup.
I've used the package data from the packaged stuff, and the SELF website date for the fresh food.
1 carrot (using 1 US cup as an average carrot) – 52 calories

2 garlic cloves 8 calories

I medium onion 44 calories

Stock made with a cube 30 calories

Asda baked beans per tin 330 calories –
minus 70 for the sauce being rinsed 260 calories
Asda chopped tomatoes 1 tin 310 calories
Total calories 704
Recipe is for four people so 176 calories per person.

If this is an entire meal it is not nutritionally adequate for a growing child - you would have to add a couple of slices of bread and butter to bring it up to around 400 calories. No mention of the tiny calorie count in the recipe itself.
Jack describes it as "a hearty, filling soup suitable for lunch or a light supper" - at 176 calories it is neither hearty nor filling. And the costing of 20p per portion is misleading, since a quarter of that recipe would not fill a shrew.

And this is why the greedy goblin has to snaffle the whole pan....

Thank you for this, I'm far too lazy to have ever done it myself but shows what a farce the 24p (pluck a number less than a Miguel recipe from the air) per serving is.

 

[jenny2603]

She's completely lost the bleeping plot. Take a break pal. Maybe a nice fall down the stairs? That normally makes you feel better.

She could trip over Coops and then just as she's getting up Content could leap at her sending her flying backwards. Then her trousers fall down and the Vicar comes to the door. It would be so funny.

 

[Mrs Peel]

Jack, if you are reading this, and I know you are...

You really should have stuck with the rinsed hoops twitter chaos. You (insert fave keystroke) ~sort of~ had that under control when you doubled down with the rinsed hoop glue concoction blog, but no.

Now we have Energy Jack. But this time you (insert fave keystroke) ~really~ don't know what the duck you are talking about, and multiple people are calling you out for being WRONG.

You see, suggesting that people eat nonsense is one thing, but advising people to duck with their energy bills is irresponsible at best.

Think on, and maybe, I dunno, check on Content and Coops.

 

[Soap a Dope]

I loathe Scottish Jack. Someone I know moved to Scotland from somewhere very south and is calling things “wee” and frankly I could punch him in the face Every. Single. Time.

ETA I love the term when actual Scottish people use it. I’m not anti-Scottish, just anti-twats.

The whole Go Easy Pal and the likes. Total cringe. Bet she doesn't even know what salt and sauce is

 

[FeelingGroovy]

I loathe Scottish Jack. Someone I know moved to Scotland from somewhere very south and is calling things “wee” and frankly I could punch him in the face Every. Single. Time.

ETA I love the term when actual Scottish people use it. I’m not anti-Scottish, just anti-twats.

I FEEL SEEN.

I moved up here about 8 years ago and ‘aye’ and ‘wee’ slipped into my vernacular very quickly. And I use ‘outwith’ a lot.

 

[ChastityDingle]

Sooooo, as promised, I've forensically analysed a Jack recipe, in this case Simple Tomato and Bean Soup.
I've used the package data from the packaged stuff, and the SELF website date for the fresh food.
1 carrot (using 1 US cup as an average carrot) – 52 calories

2 garlic cloves 8 calories

I medium onion 44 calories

Stock made with a cube 30 calories

Asda baked beans per tin 330 calories –
minus 70 for the sauce being rinsed 260 calories
Asda chopped tomatoes 1 tin 310 calories
Total calories 704
Recipe is for four people so 176 calories per person.

If this is an entire meal it is not nutritionally adequate for a growing child - you would have to add a couple of slices of bread and butter to bring it up to around 400 calories. No mention of the tiny calorie count in the recipe itself.
Jack describes it as "a hearty, filling soup suitable for lunch or a light supper" - at 176 calories it is neither hearty nor filling. And the costing of 20p per portion is misleading, since a quarter of that recipe would not fill a shrew.

BIB - Sometimes the potential thread titles almost write themselves ...

 

[Bugger13]

I wonder how many of those are Jack signing up to herself, whilst she sneers to herself 'That'll show those pesky Tattlers'

Yes, what I thought-or big Dave. No doubt on the fantasy £1 amount so she can screenshot it as proof.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Sex Jack Sex Jack
We all miss Sex Jack
At the time it made us feel quite sick
But not as much as the rinsed hoops hack

 

[catgoldo]

So in amongst all the squigs on Jack’s latest ‘advice’ threads, where they are telling Jack she should be running the country with her immense knowledge of just about everything, noticed this little exchange. Squig who appears to work in finance querying a Jack statement. Needless to say after her first reply, Jack dropped out, no more replies….OUT OF HER DEPTH.

When Martin Lewis is back from his hols, he’s not going to be happy with his second-in-command (Squigs words, not poor Martin’s) talking toss, he’s gonna have to row back so many of her comments. Martin’s not back until the end of the month, although he popped in today as he felt it warranted, eeeeek the damage Jack will be doing between now and then

View attachment 1485893

Ok so a close relative of mine works for CAB, and they said this is v dodgy advice. Followed by a bunch of swear words about idiots not helping anybody.

 

[Jelly Bean]

The metre talk is giving me unpleasant flashbacks
Jack's 'advice' is very scary. She is dabbling with companies she has a very naive concept of.

Spoiler: Metre me rail

.
Electric people fitted a meter in our rental house about 10 years ago. My OH had said he was paying the bills but just wasn't for some reason. Anyway they didn't smash down any doors but let themselves in. They may have rang the doorbell but my partner had disconnected it unknown to me. I was upstairs and frightened to death. I could hear banging and was too scared to go downstairs. I rang my husband to say there were strangers in the house. He said 'oh yes they're fitting a meter. I meant to tell you'.
The meter was a bloody nightmare. We'd load about £30 and instantly they took off a huge percentage to pay the back debt.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Sooooo, as promised, I've forensically analysed a Jack recipe, in this case Simple Tomato and Bean Soup.
I've used the package data from the packaged stuff, and the SELF website date for the fresh food.
1 carrot (using 1 US cup as an average carrot) – 52 calories

2 garlic cloves 8 calories

I medium onion 44 calories

Stock made with a cube 30 calories

Asda baked beans per tin 330 calories –
minus 70 for the sauce being rinsed 260 calories
Asda chopped tomatoes 1 tin 310 calories
Total calories 704
Recipe is for four people so 176 calories per person.

If this is an entire meal it is not nutritionally adequate for a growing child - you would have to add a couple of slices of bread and butter to bring it up to around 400 calories. No mention of the tiny calorie count in the recipe itself.
Jack describes it as "a hearty, filling soup suitable for lunch or a light supper" - at 176 calories it is neither hearty nor filling. And the costing of 20p per portion is misleading, since a quarter of that recipe would not fill a shrew.

I think you're overestimating there.

Spoiler: Numbers

The beans form less than half a tin, which means taking the sauce off gives nearer 180 calories sans sauce. Stock cubes are about 8 calories each and Tinned tomatoes are under 100 calories for a full tin, so you've got

52+8+44+8+180+94 = 386 or 96.5 kcal per person. And no vitamin D.

Can't be having poor people looking healthy fat, can she?

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Because, *insert jimmy nail gif*

Either she’s lying about the CCJ she did have from her Hunger Hurts days being on her file still, OR she never even had one to begin with.

She has one from 2020 if I remember rightly. CCJs are on a public register.

 

[MrsFawlty]

Spoiler: Helpful DD amount info for worried Fraus

I'm with Octopus energy* on a fixed tariff and they have just introduced a 'balance forecast' which explains in clear plain language and an interactive bar graph how paying your monthly DD at a certain rate actually works to smooth out your bill over the year. The graph was very helpful to me as a non-numerate visual learner and has reassured me that we are paying the right DD now, even if it is horrendously high! I was panicking about why we have to build up credit but seeing the enormous bill forecast for winter usage I now understand.
* Other energy companies may be doing a similar thing?

 

[Cookiecookie]

haybox, it’s basically an insulated box that retains heat to cook food. So say you make a stew bring to boil on hob, using just a few mins of fuel, pop it in hay box, (in its pan obviously) it keeps hot and cooking for hours

I remember they were popular on the MSE forum back in the day. Jack periodically claims she's going to do this low energy cooking, but, no surprise, surprise - she never has.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Its all getting very Rick isnt it. First the hands up who likes me and now this. Go away petal.

 

[Pavlova]

I've been really peed off with Energy Jack today. I thought I'd cheer myself up - and any of you needing a laugh - by reading and sharing this epic takedown regarding Covid-19. I'm praying to LJC, people slap Jacksie down in a similar manner (go software squigg! )

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

I remember they were popular on the MSE forum back in the day. Jack periodically claims she's going to do this low energy cooking, but, no surprise, surprise - she never has.

If only there was some sort of cooking pot that enabled you to keep food at a safe temperature for a long period of time at minimal cost. It wouldn't cook things very quickly, but as long as they made this clear in the device name, it would save having to buy wood and build boxes, add insulation and risk food poisoning from inadequately cooked meat or breaking teeth on raw rice.

 

[Polly Morphus]

I think you're overestimating there.

Spoiler: Numbers

The beans form less than half a tin, which means taking the sauce off gives nearer 180 calories sans sauce. Stock cubes are about 8 calories each and Tinned tomatoes are under 100 calories for a full tin, so you've got

52+8+44+8+180+94 = 386 or 96.5 kcal per person. And no vitamin D.

Can't be having poor people looking healthy fat, can she?

Thanks - yes, you're right I have definitely overestimated on the tin of tomatoes..... in my defence I have just had three Aperol Spritzes at the pub. ;-)
Edit to add - my mistake was to read the kj rather than calories on the tin of tomatoes label.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Any and all songs that turn Jack into a stripper need to be banned.

I bet she twerks like Tina from Bob's Burgers.