Those photos are seriously quite disturbing. The desperate photos, desperate expressions. Truly bizarre.
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Considering the actual lack of cooking that went on she didn’t have to wash-up much.
Christ, those IG Stories are utter cringe. Throughout lockdown I‘ve watched chefs, comedians and TV presenters do shows from home on social media. None have created such a song and dance after to pat themselves on the back. Whoever at Hellman’s is behind this show much be cringing at her trying to turn this into a one-woman show that she hasn’t needed completely babysitting throughout.
Another entry for the cabal chronicles.
Maybe they're a teaser for things to come, like her last sports bra selfies were?
In all seriousness though, this really blows the doors off her 'gah I'm so rubbish with my silly little face and chaos energy' schtick, doesn't it? She thinks she did a good job, actually? LMAO Okaaaay.
The bottom lip looks a bit swollen. But the top looks fine. Absolutely used an app/filter for the profile pic as she looks like a duck. Also, you really really really don’t want comments on your weight loss as it’s damaging etc - PUT A BLOODY TOP ON THEN.
...and the new skill of buying cushions in brand colours.
what she described is no different to other Instagrammers, many kids have done better
Must have been quiet in her house of she hasn't been talking to save her voice for the show..
**Insert silence here after the next furious tweet**
**Insert silence here after the next furious tweet**
Could really have done without the manky bra pics. She looks completely desperate. 
Quick tip on that final point: a warm wet flannel pressed to the area while “progress begins“ does wonders!Links to some sites auto removed
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She still doesn't get it and the bleeping Hellman's sign is back to front. On a more positive note, Unilever are now changing the name of Fair and Lovely skin whitening creamand I now follow the gorgeous Alexis Adjei on IG. She was the first one who reached out to Jack about Hellman's when BLM on IG became a thing and what did Melissa do
nothingbut said I have messaged you.
PS - New baby grandson is now breathing without support and starting to breastfeed. Still a teeny chap but no longer having to sleep with a disco mask on due to baby jaundice. My daughter has said that she is never doing a pooh again.
Apart from chucking some orange peel into a mayo cake what the hell did any of that have to do with leftovers?
usually there’s no need for anything like this, JM just makes everything look incredibly difficult.
Her level of incompetence is genuinely astounding.
There are so many people consistently churning out high quality live content without 5 figure pay checks.
could she BEEE any more awful? - sorry couldn’t resist.
I never imagined the day would end like this.
It's the implicit suggestion that she thinks someone else should be doing her washing up that does it for me!
Blimey! I fell asleep and then had about 15 pages to Grunka, all caught up - for now. We’re getting through about a thread a day at the moment. Chill the duck out, Jack, us Cabals have actual lives* to get on with!
*Who am I kidding?!
*Who am I kidding?!
SHE HAD LEFTOVER ANCHOVIES. PAY ATTENTION.
I was asked by one of those training ice breaker questions who I would like to be stuck in a lift with. I said Ian Hislop because a) I've heard he's a sweetie, b) he has a sense of humour, and c) he must know loads of gossip that he can't publish!
She’s the leftover*
*That’s probably the meanest thing i’ve ever said, but i’ve ridden the empathy rollercoaster for long enough. She’s a clever woman who knows damn well what she’s doing. She just can’t do it live!
Chetna, absolutely, babe.
‘Potwash’ She’s in the trade, how dare you.
That reply 
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