Jack Monroe #343 A heavy dose of chickpea and loathing

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Omg what if the vile burned but uncooked cookies were for SB to give to his teachers on the last day of term?

Everyone else walks in with wine, chocolates, quirky mugs and here comes the poor lad with a Tupperware box and melamine cutlery looking embarrassed. It really worries me that this could be true.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

What is the ever loving duck is hnnnngghh?
* A magic spice( watch out KFC, secret recipe chicken currently being created in Jack’s Shack)
Or is it…..
* A sound a greedy goblin makes crunching through chicken bones ?

Hnnnnggghh is the noise that turns a regular person into a poked armadillo shape due to cringing so hard they almost can see their own colon. It's the Jack version of the infamous 'Brown Sound' or Diabolus in Musica, the Devil's Tritone.

 

[Mrs Peel]

So with a mouthful of crumbling teeth, she decides to eat hard as dirty nails thumbprint cookies and over-seasoned chicken wings rather than her usual bland bean slop? Okay.

 

[MistyWindows]

I love it when the squigs turn on each other for no reason.
It reminds me of comments on a local news’ Facebook post, absolutely gagging for a scrap.

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

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Oh my god she's so dim. Jack, if you had ever actually voted you would know that this is not how politics works, you don't vote for a Youth MP at the same time as a regular MP, so no, they're not "legitimately elected by the British people". But yes they should still be allowed to sit on the green benches, I will give you that.

 

[Polly Morphus]

Oh my god she's so dim. Jack, if you had ever actually voted you would know that this is not how politics works, you don't vote for a Youth MP at the same time as a regular MP.

A Tom Harwood vs. Jack boss battle twitter spat would be a hoot. Both as thick as mince and utterly convinced that they're right. Both having to get the last word in no matter what. Finger crossed Frauen und Herren - this could be the big one.

 

[Amanda Lin]

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Why does she always have to go so hard?

I know nada about Youth MPs, but even if she is right, why be so self righteous about it? Especially same day she proudly posted burnt cookies to her Twitter feed.

Also Bobora did less to her, this guy is now entitled to spite write an acknowledgment in his autobiography by her own silly rules.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

while we've been mithering, she's been doing things to wings that sound ok actually

For.a split second I was genuinely worried she’d sang a cover of Band On The Run.

 

[usefullyuseless]

Pal vs bud, who will win?

There's only one way to find out...

Oh, there's no Harry Hill FIGHT gif.

Omg what if the vile burned but uncooked cookies were for SB to give to his teachers on the last day of term?

Everyone else walks in with wine, chocolates, quirky mugs and here comes the poor lad with a Tupperware box and melamine cutlery looking embarrassed. It really worries me that this could be true.

I'm sure SB has the nous by now to fire those monstrosities into the nearest bin en route to school

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

I don’t remember a local election for the youth parliament. In fact I wasn’t aware of such a thing! Perhaps instead of trying to be a smart arse Jack should jump on the conspiracy that there are apparently kids on a parliament that were “elected by the British people” that the vast majority of British people aren’t aware of.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Does anyone have the pic of the denim jacket she allegedly stitched last year? Is it a different one than this?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Does anyone have the pic of the denim jacket she allegedly stitched last year? Is it a different one than this?

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[Cookiecookie]

I took a screenshot of this a few days ago but didn’t post it:

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Just my opinion, but I reckon that not a single addict in the history of addiction, stopped drinking/using *just* because they had no money. I’ve met people who have stole, undertaken sex work or even white knuckled through however long it took to get money.

And I would even go so far as to say, I’m afraid I don’t think she would put SB over herself, ever. Thank god it’s not true!

There was a segment on our local news the other night about how Scotland raised the price per unit of alcohol (to 50p), however it has only resulted in people spending more on alcohol. It hasn’t massively impacted on alcohol-related health issues…because if you are addicted to something, you will do what you can to get money for it.

Very similar situation here. They've moved on from goon bags to spirits, and things have got far worse

Addiction isn't just something you can just put 'on hold' until it's more convenient.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Reply to squig:

 

[Jelly Bean]

'People are unkind - overrule it with kindness'
'People are imperfect - forgive them'.
So what about publicly lambasting people for vague comments made over 20 years ago? Where does that fit in?
Jack sees tolerance and kindness as very much a one way street - she expects it always but is quite happy to dish out the opposite.

 

[Cookiecookie]

while we've been mithering, she's been doing things to wings that sound ok actually

hhnnnnggghh tho. and wash your hands!

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They sound nice, if someone else was cooking them. Why does she never photograph the triumphs, only the disasters? Guessing she bought some pre marinated wings, and doesn't want them

 

[Ostapbender]

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*That's 1.6 million people who saw Cooper intrude on Jack's rehearsal and still have her phone number, line open at any time of the day or night. Go well bud.

 

[usefullyuseless]

Reply to squig:
View attachment 1436008

Exactly what everyone wants, a profusely sweating chef with dirt under their fingernails.

Can't imagine why she's never been asked back.

I'm sure if we asked any production assistant or showrunner their answer would be 'who??'