Her from Thorpe Bay DO NOT PICK UPI wonder what exes have her saved in their phone as
Jack Monroe #343 A heavy dose of chickpea and loathing
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The monthly meeting of the I hate Jack Monroe club.
I doubt it. Jack has a long history of adopting pets at ill-advised times, why would this case be different?
I do love the idea that somewhere out there there’s a Jack Monroe Survivors Club. Evil Landlady, Borb and Policewoman are all there, as is Matt Tebbutt and Eamon Holmes and Allegra. On the door outside the meeting room there is a list of trigger words that must never be articulated, and they include howling, pixie and yes, absolutely x. There are refreshments after the meeting, which are always solid, well cooked and not made of horse spunk.
Hello, police? Yes, I want to report a hate crime. Against food. Yes, that's right. I have the perpetrator's phone number here for you to contact them. Please, hurry!
BIB - you've just inspired me to create the Vimes Biscuit Index, which will not only track biscuit prices but ensure quality control standards are met at all times. Naturally I will have to do a lot ofI would prefer to call it Biscuit Day as we don't all hoover up the crumbs from the table of Georgia Church Suppers.
However, she has done Cookie Day 2 weeks in a row so as well as being a completed it completed it MATEshe will henceforth be the font of all biscuity data.
This guy is called Mr Cyst. He’s a mean bastard. I think he dropped out of Jack’s mouth where he’d been living under a piece of solidified slop.
I'd like to help with this important research by taking on the onerous task of eating immeasurable amounts of Fox's Golden Crunch Creams.
Thankyou for all you do x
This assumes Jack gives a tit about vaccines which, going by previous treatment of pets, seems sadly unlikely.
Let's not forget that Jack's introduction post to the dog was a very young puppy on public transport:
Plot twist: Content actually belongs to Harold. Jack has somehow convinced him to let her have access visits with the dog and is spite posting his phone number on the internet.
The continuous posting of her phone number to 550k people is just so embarrassing 
my sis in law put a pic of her dog on Insta yesterday with the tag covered because she has (let me check...450 followers on a private page who are mostly all friends/family/work colleagues) because everyone knows it only takes one total weirdo to latch on to you. It's just mind boggling, ridiculous attention seeking at this point
my sis in law put a pic of her dog on Insta yesterday with the tag covered because she has (let me check...450 followers on a private page who are mostly all friends/family/work colleagues) because everyone knows it only takes one total weirdo to latch on to you. It's just mind boggling, ridiculous attention seeking at this pointA survivor's whatsapp group.
Matt: I had that dream again, we're back on the DKL set and she's coming for me with those teeth
Allegra: It's OK Matt, that was a long time ago, she can't get you anymore. She'll never work on TV again, you're safe now.
Eamonn:
MY FAVOURITE
WhelksplatI wonder what exes have her saved in their phone as
DONTANSWERI wonder what exes have her saved in their phone as
Hate that I need to know Jack Monroe's phone number to live in the UK. Not only that, but she could appear at any time... on the radio. Can't anyone stop this megalomaniac?
Babe, same x
I took a screenshot of this a few days ago but didn’t post it:
Just my opinion, but I reckon that not a single addict in the history of addiction, stopped drinking/using *just* because they had no money. I’ve met people who have stole, undertaken sex work or even white knuckled through however long it took to get money.
And I would even go so far as to say, I’m afraid I don’t think she would put SB over herself, ever. Thank god it’s not true!
There was a segment on our local news the other night about how Scotland raised the price per unit of alcohol (to 50p), however it has only resulted in people spending more on alcohol. It hasn’t massively impacted on alcohol-related health issues…because if you are addicted to something, you will do what you can to get money for it.
Jack Monroe's phone number is on the British citizenship test, between How many players are in a cricket team? and Who is 4th in line to the throne? and Has Guardian journalist Owen Jones ever been convicted of murder?
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