Baking? Easy? I thought you had to make a huge list before attempting a military-style Operation Bake. Must have been doing it wrong
Jack Monroe #343 A heavy dose of chickpea and loathing
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Changing the subject from the hideous cookies as they are too depressing but look at what I found in a charity shop today...a book featuring The Three Investigators. Apparently called Jupiter, Bob and Pete. But you and I know it's Jenny, Borb and Piotr
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Sweet Jesus, I wouldn’t show those to the family, who eat anything.
She’s done it for a reaction hasn’t she, can you imagine Mom or that man posting those.
Still catching up, slowly. Glad the heat has gone, we’ve been picking strawberries in the poly tunnels today, quite pleasant.
More ailments than a hospital piss pot.
Poor sods in her meeting will have to suffer her baking again.
All day I’ve had “Nightmeat, this is what you came for; Nightmeat, strikes every time she moves” to the tune of the Calvin Harris/Rihanna song in my head.
I purposely don’t read many of the song lyric posts because I’m more often than not tortured by circular segments of songs but I’d like to say bravo to the Frau or Herr who came up with that one.
Or if it was me: duck you, brain. And Jack.
I purposely don’t read many of the song lyric posts because I’m more often than not tortured by circular segments of songs but I’d like to say bravo to the Frau or Herr who came up with that one.
Or if it was me: duck you, brain. And Jack.
Yup yup yup. Plus you can’t ever give any constructive or negative feedback because “they care so much” or because they are helping people it gives them a free pass for being completely batshit and/or ineffective and/or incredibly entitled
"Oh, did you enjoy making those? Well, that's the main thing isn't it?"
Oh Elastoblast! Worry not dear heart. The fact that you are reflective enough to worry about that means that you are officially not going to be out of touch. Pip pipOh feck! As a sort of middle class, almost 50 year old woman slap bang in the middle of my post graduate diploma in CBT and groupwork let's hope I'm not out of touch. I may only be a trainee but I'm confident in saying Jack would NOT be a good candidate for CBT as she definitely wouldn't want to engage in homework or exploring the thinking lying behind her behaviour
That's my fault, soz. Two unconnected tweets but I screen grabbed them together.
Nope, genuinely cannot think of a more horrifying dish she's made than lumps of dough that she's squished her vile thumbnail into 
You say unconnected, some of those abominations look pretty calcified to me.
I was handed some complimentary dog cookies yesterday that are far more appetising than Jack's offering.
"I can see a lot of effort went into these"
"That's the thing I love about baking, Jack. You can always eat your mistakes! No, none for me I'm low carbing just now"
Worst Connect 4 game evaaaah.
WHY DO YOU WANT HER TO STOP BREATHING?
Not bad for throwing at enemies. You could take a man out with a well aimed lemon hardie
At the peak of Covid when nurseries were just about open, my youngest made cookies at nursery. The school posted photos on their app showing a dozen kids all with their fingers in the same dough, a gaggle of superspreaders all mixing a Petri dish of germs in biscuit form. And yet, I’d still eat those germy, undercooked in the middle yet burnt around the edges cookies any day over hers.Nope, genuinely cannot think of a more horrifying dish she's made than lumps of dough that she's squished her vile thumbnail into
Baked wouldn’t be the word I would choose
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