Jack Monroe #343 A heavy dose of chickpea and loathing

[Django]

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Wasn't it Monday Jack made cookies and ate 50 of them? Cookie day today...
I can't imagine why she has bad teeth.
There is nothing wrong with her nashers, she's had some more work done.

 

[kachoochoo]

has she maybe thought of turning the tray halfway through cooking, y'know so they're not half-raw, half-charcoal and just an even shitey colour?

 

[Elthi86]

I've had my fingers crossed for a slop for some time now, but this is even better. I keep scrolling up to have another look at them, how on earth can anyone think that's suitable content for a food writer?!

 

[Ostapbender]

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[Marmalade Atkins]

has she maybe thought of turning the tray halfway through cooking, y'know so they're not half-raw, half-charcoal and just an even shitey colour?

She baked them in the mini oven because the big oven doesn't work.

#oventrutherforever

 

[BananaSmith]

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i read these as turd rather than curd and it made sense.

These biscuits would be something I'd do with a small smol pixie child to get them involved in baking not by someone lurking around the coolinary world for the past 10 years or so.

 

[jenny2603]

Wasn't it Monday Jack made cookies and ate 50 of them? Cookie day today...
I can't imagine why she has bad teeth.
There is nothing wrong with her nashers, she's had some more work done.

It's like her teeth are leaving to get away from the slop and baked horror.

 

[bowiethesdmn]

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Is there anything that ISN'T wrong with her?

 

[Captainmouse]

Imagining Jack serving “some of the best bakes” to Cherish and Benoit on Bake Off the professionals.View attachment 1434409View attachment 1434411

Everyone makes baking mistakes, but would a professional post their mistakes online?

Not every single time, surely

 

[jenny2603]

Is there anything that ISN'T wrong with her?

She's not a workaholic.

 

[SlopAmbsase]

Is there anything that ISN'T wrong with her?

She deffo doesn’t have a guilt complex.

 

[kachoochoo]

She baked them in the mini oven because the big oven doesn't work.

#oventrutherforever

ah, of course, easy monica's jack's bakery

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

This is what she wants isn’t it. A ‘cook’ made some horrible looking biscuits.

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

Honestly some of those biscuits look like my dog's backside after she ransacked the bin and ate the skin of a whole butternut squash.

 

[AnnRKey]

Is there anything that ISN'T wrong with her?

She can bite into a curly wurly and miss all the chocolate

 

[Captainmouse]

She's not a workaholic.

She’s not honest, or even likeable

 

[katycat]

how are the lemon curd ones so many different shades of yellow?!

Because they cover the entire spectrum from undercooked to burnt. Presumably she didn't rotate the baking tray mid-bake. (I know they say you shouldn't need to do that with a fan oven, but you do.)

ETA @kachoochoo beat me to it!

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Because they cover the entire spectrum from undercooked to burnt. Presumably she didn't rotate the baking tray mid-bake. (I know they say you shouldn't need to do that with a fan oven, but you do.)

She's as lazy about calibrating her oven as she is everything else (and a recipe tester should have a calibrated oven!)

 

[colouredlines]

Squigs delivering what I can only assume are some very backhanded compliments.

 

[veronica71]

How does she, a supposedly professional cook, manage to constantly produce baked goods which look like the reception class made them?

This was my thought - my ~seven~ year old could make better looking biscuits than that with no help from me!

What has calcium got to do with the cookies???