Jack Monroe #340 Not a professional account

[Ostapbender]

Never a please is there

To paraphrase Mark, Jack's far too important to say please

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I decided to add the vintage train slip to the series of Jack Fell Over photos.

Jack fell under a train:

Spoiler: Jack fell down the spiral staircase:

Spoiler: Jack fell on the beach:

 

[Lazarus]

that staircase
Squig: Thank you for all that you do, Jack. I know your life is tough living in the crappy bungalow. I hope this £50pcm donation goes a small way of making things feel a little bit lighter for you. I'm sorry it isn't more, but it's as much as i can give from my meagre Universal Credit payment.
Jack: ignore.

 

[Ostapbender]

Why you go insane?
Jack break the laws of physics by falling under a train

 

[Veronicaaa]

No !! I didn’t see this !! Was here at the time but don’t remember that. What happened ??? Omg

It's from here - some posts have been deleted but you'll get the general gist I think https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...youre-judging-slop.18447/page-38#post-4679842

 

[blurstoftimes]

I called a scientist, an architect, several firefighters, and a lawyer. Between us all we hold decades of service, encyclopaedias of chemical information, forensic knowledge of building structures and escape routes.

I can actually SMELL the bullsh*t coming off these 2 sentences.

wasn't a scientist, an architect, several firefighters and a lawyer basically her list of tinder dates too

 

[Mr Krabs]

To paraphrase Mark, Jack's far too important to say please
View attachment 1418551

Peep Show is just full of Jack moments (see - the dinner party episode with the ‘Moroccan’ dish).

 

[auntylil]

It all provides further proof that the woman is a total fantasist, where did Jack get the bleeping floor plans from?

Not sure where this will land as I've got some grunking to do, but couldn't resist adding my two penneth, for what it's worth.

Ghoulish aspects of this article aside...
“Three stories of a local methodist church”
The use of USA spellings in reports by a UK writer irks me, far more than it should, I know - although I do realise in this particular best-selling author’s (cough) case - it’s probably just a spelling mistake.

"Between us all we hold decades of service, encyclopaedias of chemical information, forensic knowledge of building structures and escape routes"
You were a call handler - I doubt any of the above was part of your job description, and therefore doubt you had any forensic knowledge of such things. This is, of course, just speculation, but tying yourself into those decades of service is a bit shallow. I believe you were there less than 2 years, is that correct? As a call handler...

The photo of her in the uniform, from a day training event. It doesn’t make her a firefighter.

“I’ve seen a lot of fires” (unnecessary expletive removed) - so have I, doesn’t make me a fecking firefighter.

What a despicable human being she is!

 

[Elastoblast]

Do people in the control room participate in passing out parades? I’ve forensically researched this (done a Google) and it only seems to be firefighters, not the people on the phones. No doubt the latter has a tough job and rigorous training but its not quite the same.

I did 3 weeks of training and 2 weeks supervised work before being set loose on the Scottish population as an NHS Call handler. Can confirm there was no passing out parade or even a party. Much sad. Do get to wear Traazers though, so there is that!
Edited for typos...why do I make so many when typing tattle posts?

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

I can you that something is going to happen in the future, can't say where or when to the general public -

To find out more send Cashoos and join my Patereon or send cashoos to my PayPal or cheques with accompanying guarantee card to 1 Notmycat street, Not my Cat city. Thankyou so Matt much.

Oh no not Nostraslopmus. May the saints preserve us.

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

I have a fireplace in which we have a fire during the winter.

Ergo, I've probably seen more fires than Jack Monroe.

Where are my traaaazers, Chief?

 

[Ostapbender]

Also enormous Spaced vibes from the paintball scene:
Other player: You've seen combat?!
Mike: Yeah!
Player: Where?
Mike: On TV

Locked and loaded toot toot

 

[MrsFawlty]

I called a scientist, an architect, several firefighters, and a lawyer. Between us all we hold decades of service, encyclopaedias of chemical information, forensic knowledge of building structures and escape routes.

I can actually SMELL the bullsh*t coming off these 2 sentences.

I read this part just now to my husband (vaguely aware of her, no idea about Tattle, doesn't use social media, etc). His reaction: "What?"
Exactly.

 

[MancBee]

I have a fireplace in which we have a fire during the winter.

Ergo, I've probably seen more fires than Jack Monroe.

Where are my traaaazers, Chief?

I threw a wet tea towel over a frying pan that had caught fire. It put the fire out.

I have probably fought more fires than Jack. Am I a firefighter?

 

[Lazarus]

I threw a wet tea towel over a frying pan that had caught fire. It put the fire out.

I have probably fought more fires than Jack. Am I a firefighter?

Yes, absolutely! x

 

[Ostapbender]

I threw a wet tea towel over a frying pan that had caught fire. It put the fire out.

I have probably fought more fires than Jack. Am I a firefighter?

Firefighters is firefighters

 

[Boogs]

I threw a wet tea towel over a frying pan that had caught fire. It put the fire out.

I have probably fought more fires than Jack. Am I a firefighter?

Thanks for all you do.

 

[usefullyuseless]

I once used a fire extinguisher to put out a fire at work, as part of my fire officer training. Am I a hero now? Yes, yes I am.

 

[Ostapbender]

I've had health and safety training. I mean, they just gave me a document to read and I signed it, but technically that still makes me an emergency worker. Constant vigilance x

 

[Boogs]

I once threw a tea towel I’d set alight on the hob into the washing up water.

Not all hero’s wear capes