Jack Monroe #339 David Attenborough lied about walruses

[Boogs]

Yes according to tweets at the time, OH was supposed to have travelled with her then. Unconfirmed but as observed by guest correspondent and other <cough cough> frauen, OH was not at the conference venue unless fully undercover/invisible/existing only in the mind of the Monroe.

Is Harold Tyler Durden?

 

[Mrs Peel]

I can't stop singing that now, and I only know the first three lines...

One day at a time, sweet Jesus.
That's all I'm asking of you.
Give me the strength to do every day what I have to do.

Round and round and round in my head, even when I'm not singing it out loud.

Thanks for that @auntylil

And now in mine...it's going to be a loooong evening.

 

[jenny2603]

Those love bowls are bleeping weird. All of them. Ergh. Major ick vibes.

Nothing will ever top her putting a picture of a dead dog in one.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[L3moning]

Oh buckle up ninnies she’s on the listening to Survivor and Independent woman on repeat by Destiny’s Child and screaming she hates him stage of a break up. The swing to why doesn’t he love me? Will follow soon.

I'm reminded of a more recent break up song, which is slightly NSFW (because bugger radio edits), namely She Hates Me by Puddle Of Mudd.

 

[Fruitjack]

Those love bowls are bleeping weird. All of them. Ergh. Major ick vibes.

Yeah, but they turned me from a devoted squig into a Jack questioner. So I’m quite fond of them.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Nothing will ever top her putting a picture of a dead dog in one.

That was straight up abuse in a bowl.

 

[Django]

Spoiler: Mamapapa adjacent

Many moons ago I shared a page of a book that makes me crack up each time cos of the coven - it says “dance with your mama, dance with your papa, dance with your friends”. The little 8 year old girl next door comes over to play in our garden lots, the other day when it started spitting we came inside and she was reading the toddler that book and was in absolute bits over mama/papa and reading it in a posh old timey voice taking the p out of it! She’s EIGHT and sweet as anything, how is a 12 year old in Basildon so fresh to the world he’s still saying mama? I suppose a 6 hour shift a week of it is manageable.

I don't know why your post has made me remember this but older frauen may too, the lyrics are chef's kiss for Jack.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

OMG the DKL leg splay was hilarious, total George Osborne 2013 vibes lol

Also vibes of another George. Pythagoras that you useless bleep

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I mean abuse in a bowl does cover most of what Jack cooks.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I genuinely run a cold sweat when I see them. Always imagine LJC sitting there shaking with fear trying to get it down and look grateful while Jack glared from the other side of the table eating just a banana and saying how she was too exhausted from making it to make herself anything more substantial

 

[L3moning]

abuse in a bowl

Thread title suggestion.

 

[Mrs Peel]

I don't know why your post has made me remember this but older frauen may too, the lyrics are chef's kiss for Jack.
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So along with One Day At a Time (Sweet Jesus) I've now also got this in my head.

 

[Sketchy]

Why the everloving heck would someone in the public eye choose to slag off their ex on Twitter? Is she that desperate for likes?

(I've opened comments!)

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Nothing will ever top her putting a picture of a dead dog in one.

ETA oops. I hope the tattooist makes the same error

 

[Valiofthedolls]

She's going through the stages of breakup : Disbelief, Trying to get them back, and now slagging them off. She can be as angy as she likes - I still think he was a character created by her.

Puts on best smooth Radio DJ voice: And this one’s going out to all you “Harold didn’t exist” Fraus out there in Tattleland tonight

 

[auntylil]

I can't stop singing that now, and I only know the first three lines...

One day at a time, sweet Jesus.
That's all I'm asking of you.
Give me the strength to do every day what I have to do.

Round and round and round in my head, even when I'm not singing it out loud.

Thanks for that @auntylil

You're very welcome!

Spoiler: Totally off topic earworm talk

I once went to see a spiritualist with a group of friends. She was recommended as the best in our area (she wasn't). We all had to wait in a really spooky living room while each person went in for their reading. There was an old picture rail around the room and just above it, for some inexplicable reason, were the words to Onward Christian Soldiers. Now, I'm not a religious person at all, but for weeks afterwards, or anytime someone mentioned a spiritualist, I had that bloody hymn going round and around in my head! It even pops up (ahem) sometimes when I'm upstairs getting ready for bed. Why though?

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Happy birthday Tattle. Let's hope Jack doesn't bake you a cake.

 

[Candytuft]

Wasn't LJC cycling to work ? Imagine all that foam swishing about in her tum.

 

[Oxford_Girl]

Same vibes as 'I like girls babe, girls' and 'what do you look like in that jacket! You ain't butch' where does she find these awful, mean, borderline abusive OH's? Such rotten luck for one lovable pixie

Particularly as she knows all the red flags to look out for