I ‘imagine’ they went well.
Jack Monroe #336 Her writing style makes me wish I’d never learnt to read
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I tell you what’s more, anyone robbing your House would have had to leave the country never mind a wee note.
They were violent places filled with angry men
So let me get this timeline correct? In March she was in an “endless cycle of perpetual personal dissatisfaction”. Poor Jack. Perpetually endless. That must have been quite something. ANYWAY, wasn’t deliciously ordinary OH of the big car who she’s devastated at losing knocking around back then? So she was either in this relationship she’s devastated at losing while in a miasma of personal discontent, or the OH she’s devastated at losing wasn’t even around in early March. I don’t really care either way, mind you. It’s just more in the cycle of perpetually endless performative nonsense.
And Jack, you pathetic twee twit, you may feel as cute as a tiny shiny button, but you look as shite as a rancid leg of mutton. So there’s that.
We’ll have an avalanche of beardy brocalist types posting “Jack you should be PM! #fuckthetories
Can I just blow my own trumpet here and say that I was a thread behind but I hadn’t realised, I came across the most brilliant comment re writing style making me wish I’d never learnt to read and then I spent five minutes trying to figure out why I couldn’t quote it to say please someone, anyone make this a thread title. Eventually I copped on that there must be another thread, went to find it and lo and behold…. It’s the thread title 
. Quite proud of my spotting a star/ publishing prowess, unlike jacks bloody publisher.
. Quite proud of my spotting a star/ publishing prowess, unlike jacks bloody publisher.
Is it too early to crack open the owl champagne at "so I can do things to them"?
I think my favourite thing about this sentence is that I'm sure a lot of loyal squigs would also love to "do things" to Jack's books, but very different "things"
I was in Waterstones yesterday. After perusing Nosh for One, caught sight of a lone copy of Veganish.
Interesting fact. Waterstones file Jamie Oliver, by author name, but not Jack Monroe. It is almost as if she isn't very popular.
Surely lonely people/weebs/involuntarily celibate types would turn their noses up at a woman who let's a dog lick their.....leg. Yes...leg
Retweeting herself again 
What a cock.
Given her love of lists, I would like Jack to categorise all products into OKAY TO STEAL and NOT OKAY TO STEAL.
I even started it for her:
Cos noone else will? Atm me have more pressing matters like watching Boris roast over an open fire.
I know someone mentioned the dog emoji earlier, I didn't realise she had changed her entire bio, after changing it as recently as... last week
Pleased to see Jack has finally removed single mum - because she isn't and has never been a single mother.
The less said about the rest of it the better though.
Wonder how wheelchair and service dog users will feel once they follow Jack and realise it's a fib? Maybe she thinks visually impaired people can't use twitter
So its likely the worst PM we've ever had is going to be toppled this week and the forensic political writer hasn't even mentioned it? I'm guessing this is either because she knows a change of government will the end of her grift or she's waiting to see what hot take to make her own
Edited to add background: TD has had some things stolen from her allotment. I bet her veg patch is loved and taken cared of. A Jack allotment would be overgrown and neglected.
No doubt she thinks she could do a better job. She played CSI on the original Xbox, and saw an episode of NCIS. She is forensic
This is your regular reminder that if you see someone stealing bikes, lawnmowers, Grandad's bloody battered and scorched orange Le Creuset pans, and other random tit from a ramshackle, rickety old bungalow in Thorpe Bay, you didn't see a rucking thing mind your own business
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