Excellent, she must have been keeping these takes in one of her three freezers alongside the perpetual catatonic reprise of the fish. I did enjoy her 'things beginning with C' fugue state though, maybe she really does have covid.
Jack Monroe #336 Her writing style makes me wish I’d never learnt to read
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That bedridding cold cleared up right quick there. Day Nurse really is a wonder drug!
Surprised she knew how to spell that, maybe autocarrot helped
Amazing how energetic you can be when you’re supposedly on sertraline, ADHD meds and pseudoedphedrine. And nothing else of course.
Yeah, she prob thought she was writing “sloppy”Surprised she knew how to spell that, maybe autocarrot helped
Also, wasn't there a generic own brand version? Big brand medicines are pricey AF. It's Hellman's and Del Monte all over again!Amazing how energetic you can be when you’re supposedly on sertraline, ADHD meds and pseudoedphedrine. And nothing else of course.
There speaks the voice of experience
did you give him tips?all her favourites in there, narcissist
gaslighting fired Desperation he’s getting all up in your niche there
Beautiful clean nails, taps sign, take note Jack, your vile e.coli encrusted nails are a crappy (see what I did there lol) look for someone who claims to be a cook.
Food hygiene 101, clean hands. Also required in court according to my forensic legal knowledge (I
Judge Judy) , and your grubby grifting hands are not clean enough for either.
That was a different incident. This was a leaked video that was removed soon after doing the rounds on SM. I saw the video at the time, it was horrifying and it was definitely Swinson and she was definitely shooting red squirrels. She seems to have managed to scrub most references to the incident on the net though. However there is still a description of it on FB. I felt awful for the toddler, they were crying and scared of the gun noise.
The 'may your underwear always be two sizes too small' is another tired line. Has she ever come up with an original? At this point she's become one of those accounts that just tweets old jokes and because she's got a hefty following it automatically gets a decent amount of likes
Prophet Jack is back! "duck the Tories" quoth she, and lo, the Tories were indeed fucked.
Next Thread Title please!
My son wants to go to the “plane graveyard” in Southend (autistic special interest) and my first thoughts were yes, so do I because I might get to spot a pumble in the wild. We are from ooop north but I’d take a day of annual leave for this fine opportunity. 
🪦 ahoy!
🪦 ahoy!
We all know that Jack messes with her pics (my profile pic and the sherbet dibdab ones are the worst IMO) but you don’t realise exactly how much until you see a pic of her ‘in the wild’. My favourite is probably the telegraph one where she looks like Richard HammondWhat has happened to Jack in that photo? Where's her pointy, pixie like chin, high cheekbones and pouty full lips? Did the Guardian filter them out?
How rude of them. We have all seen Jack's selfies, so they can't fool us. We all know that Jack has perfect skin and features of a pre-pubescent boy.
Can’t like or heart this enough
Nope, nope and nope again. We might be welcoming in Scotland, but not THAT welcoming
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I need to share my experience with you, it was very scary and I'm thinking of writing books about it even 10 years from now.
I saw a Jackmentor on the train today. It was not a pleasant experience. All the lights went out. I was only saved by my chunky Nordic Celtic arse. Naturally I will be tweeting the train company and using blue language.
Unbelievably the Jackmentor was also at my destination at Twitter HQ in London. I was bowled over by malicious tweets, lies and flying monkeys.
A nice lady called a Frau told me to visit a canal and learn how to defeat the Jackmentor. AlI had to do was shout Expecto Patronads at Jackmentor and point a stylus that has previously browsed Tattle at her. It worked. She doesn't bother me any more and stays confined to a bungalow that is full of moving stair cases and faeces. I believe it is very echoy there too.
I saw a Jackmentor on the train today. It was not a pleasant experience. All the lights went out. I was only saved by my chunky Nordic Celtic arse. Naturally I will be tweeting the train company and using blue language.
Unbelievably the Jackmentor was also at my destination at Twitter HQ in London. I was bowled over by malicious tweets, lies and flying monkeys.
A nice lady called a Frau told me to visit a canal and learn how to defeat the Jackmentor. AlI had to do was shout Expecto Patronads at Jackmentor and point a stylus that has previously browsed Tattle at her. It worked. She doesn't bother me any more and stays confined to a bungalow that is full of moving stair cases and faeces. I believe it is very echoy there too.
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