Jack Monroe #334 Wafting around Asda like a Smartprice Ghost

[Whaa?]

I think at the least he must be aware of her twitter feed by now, surely? eta - I would have thought seeing it would keep him away, or have family and friends aghast. I know this person is an adult. I feel more tit show is on the way.

 

[Droosie123]

God she’s bloody evil isn’t she? Just seen the pile on to that squig. She actually called her flying monkeys and they responded. What an utter narc she is.

I do have a Twitter account but tbh this is why I would never post about her and why I have her blocked.

 

[Boyo]

I wonder what Jack pitching a show actually entails. I like to imagine a cigar chomping mogul saying "what ya got for me, kid?" as Jack pulls the ol' shitting dog routine in his office but it's probably just increasingly unhinged voicemails she's left for LJC.

Dear Mr or Mrs Television. I am Jack and I am good at television. I can talk while facing away from the camera and cook and nervously giggle and breathe noisily and shake but only one at a time. I have a good idea for you called “Jack Monroe’s Corner Shop Creations starring Jack Monroe”, where I take poor people food and blend it in a variety of ways. I have lots of followers on sm and I know famous people. Nigella even helped me gather some more patreons who pay an indeterminate amount of money every month for a very determinate amount of nothing. Anyway, please give me a series. If not I’ll have to report you to my flying monkeys. Then you’ll be sorry. Mx. Dr. Dr. Jack Monroe. PS I can also write furious essays, if required.

 

[Soup or Noodle]

View attachment 1390562
This aired in November 2020....so Jackie was basically pitching a show that already existed. Nob end.

When was she in Edinburgh? I wonder if she'd seen it or a trailer and realised it's only shown in Scotland so claimed it as her idea.

 

[Boyo]

Oh god, what a mental image. I can only imagine what she’ll be wearing when he shows up there tomorrow. Luckily she has three one she prepared earlier.

View attachment 1390360

 

[FrumpyCat]

What an odd individual she is. Keeping studios in her own home locked. All a bit Bluebeard's wives. What is in that dining room of doom? Decaying sentient pumbles? Nightmeat in poo bags? The completed version of the Vimes Boot Index.

Harold? No Harold never went away. He's in here. Would you like to see him?

Oh yes, he said he wanted to leave, but we had a little...talk, and Harold decided he couldn't leave.

Here, let me just get the keys. The smell, oh that's just the lillies. Did you know some people believe lillies mean death, Isn't that silly?

 

[MarzBarzie]

Gotta do some work, but spotted this. No idea if it’s an account known to the canal but it’s interesting anyway. #mondaymonday

 

[Onestorytoomany]

"Mother, may I enter the dining room/studio?"

"No, Small Boy, you may not. It is kept locked unless I am in it."

It's like the film beauty and the beast, stay out of the locked room in the West wing, it's forbidden.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

I may be crediting her with too much intelligence but I think she'll just ignore all of this. Some of it is real, but some is clearly bait.

Also re lilies aren't they also really poisonous to dogs as well?

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I may be crediting her with too much intelligence but I think she'll just ignore all of this. Some of it is real, but some is clearly bait.

Also re lilies aren't they also really poisonous to dogs as well?

I hate Lillie's. They do remind me of death. My mum had them when my dad died and now when I smell them, I am taken back to that time, that and a certain perfume.

 

[Clarends]

It's like the film beauty and the best, stay out of the locked room in the West wing, it's forbidden.

And the most disturbing book of my childhood, The Secret Garden. the cousin kept hidden wailing in a big house. And the garden locked up.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

All of the fawning Jack Monroe should have her own tv show tweets are

This one takes the biscuit...

 

[Mr Krabs]

More late night tweets.

My advice Jack, is to stop looking at the past through rise-tinted glasses and to concentrate on doing the things on Kach’s list before starting other (tit) projects.

View attachment 1390528

Isn’t that just Can’t Cook Won’t Cook, but less fun? Also, how dull would it be to see recipes made from some random’s dusty old tins? Are people going to rush out and make these recipes themselves? Ooh better restock the pease pudding and mackrel fillets, looks like Jack has put out another episode.

 

[Clarends]

She's sleeping on while there's a news item about schools not being able to afford food for school dinners.

 

[Hollaaa]

View attachment 1390562
This aired in November 2020....so Jackie was basically pitching a show that already existed. Nob end.

Heart react this post if you'd watch Clare Grogan over Jack any day lol. I don't even care if CG knows nothing of corner shops or cooking off.

 

[springstudy]

Presenting is charisma. She would have no chemistry with the screen, it would be a shambles

Also if she ever did get something, it would be because she’d guilt tripped her way there on Twitter. How… victorious?

 

[Vanelope]

what’s occurring fellow ninnies?
Did I miss anything? Might catch up later. Hope dog has gone to a good home and charities got their teemill cash in the meantime!

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

Jack's awake

"I don't understand it, we were so happy!"

View attachment 1390250

Wonder what it was that made OH run for the hills? I would be taking a loooooong hard look at myself if I were her. And not in the mirror

 

[Nottonightbabe]

All of the fawning Jack Monroe should have her own tv show tweets are

This one takes the biscuit...View attachment 1390716

Yes squig, because that's just what an audience wants to watch, a reluctant TV presenter

 

[Cookiecookie]

All of the fawning Jack Monroe should have her own tv show tweets are

This one takes the biscuit...View attachment 1390716

A great presenter?! She's TERRIBLE!