Jack Monroe #334 Wafting around Asda like a Smartprice Ghost

[Dogmuck]

Exactly! + @colouredlines.

Like after the VBI/344% stuff how many of us had to have this conversation with loved ones? It’s difficult enough to articulate it when you’ve got hours of the day with someone who you know is mentally capable of grasping the truth, a few tweets to total strangers have no chance at cutting through. Especially because what Twitter is -
Good vs bad tribalism where otherwise intelligent people are totally disarmed in the pursuit of being right on.

I genuinely feel ridiculous rage when she gets more exposure, more followers and ultimately more cash (which also makes her more arrogant). At this stage I feel I have to step away from tattle, then I have a word with myself and remember, we are not campaigning here, we are not on a mission, we are mostly observing and chatting tit with like minded people, I immediately remember how grateful I am for the top quality comedy Bants and how every time Jenny numbers says “justice for Iqbal” a sh1tter gets its wings

 

[Ostapbender]

It practically writes itself.
• Empty chairs at empty tables (Jack throws a dinner party)
• I dreamed a dream (of a big house with an orangery)
• On my own (no explanation needed)

I dreamed a dream in times gone by
When beans were rinsed and grifts worth grifting
I dreamed of endless narc supply
I dreamed OH would be forgiving
But then HE LEFT

 

[Emmapism]

I'm with you @colouredlines it will fizzle. Hastened by some 'no smoke without fire' rumours that she's not all she seems to be.

She's not keeping up with the latest trends when it comes to sharing money saving tips. If she can't manage YouTube (which is even a bit old hat these days) then she has no hope.

She will limp along with some Twitter nonsense. But given what we know about her awful way with money I don't see a forever home on the horizon, unless she massively ups the grift/ante.

 

[Orphan_Black]

I'm with you @colouredlines it will fizzle. Hastened by some 'no smoke without fire' rumours that she's not all she seems to be.

She's not keeping up with the latest trends when it comes to sharing money saving tips. If she can't manage YouTube (which is even a bit old hat these days) then she has no hope.

She will limp along with some Twitter nonsense. But given what we know about her awful way with money I don't see a forever home on the horizon, unless she massively ups the grift/ante.

I think this is why she's got the baby fever. That bio clock is ticking down and a baby would be an opportunity for so many things. She knows her career is all but over. I'd be surprised if her books even get published at this rate.

I wish there could be a Scooby Doo reveal, but agree it's a fizzle. Echoes of what could have been, how she wasted so many free rides. She never deserved the career to begin with, it was an engineered political thing that spiralled out of control. She needs to join the real world now and earn her own keep.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I know! it seems if I go away chaos occurs, perhaps I need to "duck off" for a few days. Then the grift chaos will commence. I keep missing all the good chaos in real time these days so it makes sense.

 

[colouredlines]

I think this is why she's got the baby fever. That bio clock is ticking down and a baby would be an opportunity for so many things. She knows her career is all but over. I'd be surprised if her books even get published at this rate.

I wish there could be a Scooby Doo reveal, but agree it's a fizzle. Echoes of what could have been, how she wasted so many free rides. She never deserved the career to begin with, it was an engineered political thing that spiralled out of control. She needs to join the real world now and earn her own keep.

I just hope she opens the box before she fades from the public eye.

 

[Orphan_Black]

I just hope she opens the box before she fades from the public eye.

Or finds those bleeping receipts!

 

[Mr Krabs]

On my own
Pretending there’s an OH
All alone
Taking city-adjacent breaks

Without him
I’ll swipe and swipe through Tinder
I Tweet for 20 hours a day and then throw slop in a blenderr

 

[Phillipa78]

Thanks for the wise words, old hands. I've seen a couple of uprisings but I do think one day she'll stick her foot in something she can't wipe off. She's done it before (with the vile DC comments) and I think she'll do it again.

In the meantime, our pens are mightier than the sword of Jackocles.

I love Les mis, so I'm going in for a rousing encore.

There's (a dingy grey) gbrief that can't be spoken (of)
There's a pumble goes on and on
Empty chairs at empty tables
Now my friends are DEAD and gone

 

[Ostapbender]

On my own
Pretending there’s an OH
All alone
Taking city-adjacent breaks

Without him
I’ll swipe and swipe through Tinder
I Tweet for 20 hours a day and then throw slop in a blenderr

And I know
It's only in my mind
That I took self timer photos, (not by him)
And although
I know that I'm not kind
Still I say
"Be kind... thankyou"

 

[Boogs]

It’s better that she fizzles out. A dramatic scooby doo unveiling would still be giving her attention and therefore narcissistic supply and she’d be a massive victim.

No it’s better that people just start ignoring her like the insignificant twit that she is.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

There's 32 minutes left of the day and the recipe she promised was coming 'tomorrow' yesterday has yet to materialise.

 

[Ostapbender]

There's 32 minutes left of the day and the recipe she promised was coming 'tomorrow' yesterday has yet to materialise.

That's not like Jack. I wonder what can have happened? Perhaps she's been busy

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I'm with you @colouredlines it will fizzle. Hastened by some 'no smoke without fire' rumours that she's not all she seems to be.

#JusticeForIqbal

ETA every single time I see this thread title, I am . @TheDragonWithAFlagon, Chapeau, my dude!

 

[BlendedSlop]

Every time a squig gets piled on by the flying monkeys, I'm reminded of that poor guy who got an entire evening of abuse from her cult because the bleeping idiot misinterpreted a supportive tweet from him. Then instead of admonishing her attack dogs, she had the nerve to tell him "Don't worry, it'll all blow over by the morning." Like it was nothing to do with her and she was powerless to stop it.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

I am here for the down in flames or the painfully slow fizzle

 

[Missmopps]

To be fair, she looks unrecognisable in it, like some sort of youth in a borstal getting a cookery class.

I’m hooting and fizzing! Bloody hilarious and spot on!!

 

[MsGilmore]

There's 32 minutes left of the day and the recipe she promised was coming 'tomorrow' yesterday has yet to materialise.

She said 3 hours ago that she was just doing the costings!
Edited as wrong Gif!

 

[kachoochoo]

I know I've fuelled things by posting questioning squigs, but I also fully believe that the grift isn't going to end any time soon and it'll take something seismic for people to call her out completely

I've not posted it in a while, so for new fraus and anyone who's ended up here from twitter, here's jack's to do list, updated to include soup for bed

Spoiler: jack's coming soons

[

£15 a week lunches
£20 shops as a whole
3 recipes per week in 2022
9 half-written manuscripts
35 recipes from a £20 shop, pick your fave
2000 words for print glossy GQ awards
a few announcements
adding to twitter thread of plants as they bloom
advent calendar
aged chicken thigh bone stock
alcohol free versions of recipes
another walk in a restricted mod area
apple and pear crumble with brown sugar
austerity book
base system going in next book
BBC show guest on dr rupy's iplayer show
best value vegetables for squig
big press photo shoots
big work
black bean brownies recipe
black bean recipes from poll
black pudding pastitsio
BLM video monetization donation
blog post excited about for ages
bollocking rishi sunak
book on culinary history
book signing in Belfast
books for slow cooker appeal

books for the rural coffee caravan confirmed never arrived 17.2.22 by rcc twitter

Brand New System for desk - wallpaper
bright blue think tank updates
brioche balls
brioche, mincemeat and camembert wreath
broccoli, creamy cannellini beans and fish
Camp Kitchen from the shed
cannelini bacon and pork belly pie
carrot cake baked oats
chestnut fudge thing
chicken livers
chicken nuggets with black pudding crumb
chocolate and prune oats
Christmas condiment
Christmas leftovers caesar salad - nov 2022
cinnamon granola recipe
coconut oil etc mouthwash quantities
coffee scrub
column for the Breakdown
comic filter security
comparison of 2021 £20 shop to 2022 £20 shop
compiling list of independent food banks
Conditions of Bungalow Bubbling lessons
cooking for one book
crispy fish recipe
curating regular book recommendations
David Walliams book reviews
dauphinoise pie
dealing with paying taxes
deep pinky purple mascarpone ice cream
denim shirt embroidery commissions
depressipes
detailed blog on nutrition
devilled eggs recipe - completed it, mate
dig out microwave and kettle recipes
DM to Yel
drawing nigella's garden
dyeing all clothes black
easy care for cutlery
email household management book to agent
ethical on a budget
explain daily usage of pythagoras theorem
festive pop tarts
festive vegan loaf peeling pie
filing accounts
flannel blog
flapjack recipe
food truck of joy
gailymail
goat kleftiko
gold rush xmas presents
great resources by trans + non binary writers
greek cook book
half-written budget xmas recipes
handing over her platform to poc
healthy on a bootstrap
helping disability and mental health writers
history of York road market
homemade hand sanitiser
homemade cleaning items
huge depop or Ebay sale
hummus price increase reason
hybrid cassoulet
ideas for pumpkin flesh
inbox zero by bedtime every day
jackfruit version of something
James Bond conspiracy theory
jubilee trifle recipes
kidney bean, black bean and coconut soup
Klingon gagh recipe
knit blanket
kolokythokeftedes recipe
kombucha whisky
leftover cranberry sauce recipe
lever arch files of fan mail
life hacks book
line by line spring budget takedown
links to small businesses
list of slow cooker recipes
lockdown larder 2.0 resumption threatened
lockdown list of services
make turnips not taste like turnips
maple syrup story
mashed potato secret
meal planners on website
militant boiled eggs
mince pie doughnuts
mincemeat recipe
mole
monopoly for charity with martin lewis
more cabbage
moving house
mushroom drying completed 2018
mushroom butter
New Thing
newspaper campaign the bleeping express
no- and low-fuel cooking
no waste cook book (on twitter for world earth day)
nutrition degree
onion chopping song
open the space squig box
Other Plans for cabbage
ouchy mouth recipes
painstakingly coated menu for week under £20
pastry recipe
patreon update
peasants pudding rec
picture of tree postcards
pistachio milk
pointing out real plants
pork and lentil bolognese
postcards, postcards, postcards
poverty memoir
puttanesca soup
quick pickling
radish recipes
recipe roundup on Instagram
recipes for small people
red ephemera soup recipe
redoing dinner to get better light
report for work and pensions committee
repotting spider plants from a friend
reshooting beach pottery in daylight
rooting out Amazon from website

running around in heels with a Tall Man GQ awards 2020. no evidence of running or dancing, but Marcus is tall. she didn't even personally hand him the award.

running order for xmas dinner
salt and vinegar sardines and spaghetti
sardine tin print
sausage and kale slop
Secret Ingredient - possibly banana skin
secret stock ingredient potato water
selling books on website again
send squig mandarin carrot recipe
sending maple syrup tin to fan
serious work
serving libel papers to fox/daubney/anderson
setting her teenage musings to music
sexy kitchen makeover reason
shopping trolley viewed Sept 2021, unclear if gift
sideboard photos reason
sleep hygiene routine
slow cooker bubble bath
slow cooker recipes, maybe for depher
slow cooker xmas dinner - before xmas 2021
some kind of timetable for SB in lockdown
something about how money buys time
something else Jack'll remember sometime
soup for bed recipe
split peas and cooking bacon
squigs pick eyeshadow looks
super secret shopping trip hack
supper nanny
support cabal for bullied media types
swamp thing
sweet and sour soup
sweet potato caramel
t shirts with offensive slogan actually done within 3 hours 1.2.22
t shirt profits to trussell trust updates
teemill profits
thrifty shades of beige
Thursday thunder clap
tiktok
tin juice cordial recipe
tomato soup water content - done
train video for squig
transcribing and blogging non binary talk
transcribing government bollocking
translation of a Greek Cypriot cookbook
unorthodox cheese sauce - done
unorthodox courgette squishing
Up To Something
uses for juice from del monte tins
various cornflakes chicken recipes
vegan char sui buns
vegan cheese list

vegan crackling deep-fried rice paper apparently, admitted April 2022. this was among the original items on this list, first posited in late 2019, preceding these threads

vegan diabetic creme egg (maybe)
vegan haggis
vegan pastitsio in collab with Linda
vegan paella with artichokes
vegan pie glaze
vegan version of upside down pineapple chicken
Vimes Boots Price Index - due mid February 2022
visit Poland
weekly routine
write about diva pdf experience
write about sobriety
writing a thing about tories and 30p meals
zero waste curry falafels

SPOILER]

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

Agree with whoever said that it's not the returning anti-squigs who change people's minds, it's Jack herself. That's how I ended up lurking here, because I found her so infernally annoying and she was cropping up all over my Twitter feed.

Stayed for the frauen und herren, naturally.

I know I've fuelled things by posting questioning squigs, but I also fully believe that the grift isn't going to end any time soon and it'll take something seismic for people to call her out completely

I've not posted it in a while, so for new fraus and anyone who's ended up here from twitter, here's jack's to do list, updated to include soup for bed

Spoiler: jack's coming soons

View attachment 1390154[

£15 a week lunches
£20 shops as a whole
3 recipes per week in 2022
9 half-written manuscripts
35 recipes from a £20 shop, pick your fave
2000 words for print glossy GQ awards
a few announcements
adding to twitter thread of plants as they bloom
advent calendar
aged chicken thigh bone stock
alcohol free versions of recipes
another walk in a restricted mod area
apple and pear crumble with brown sugar
austerity book
base system going in next book
BBC show guest on dr rupy's iplayer show
best value vegetables for squig
big press photo shoots
big work
black bean brownies recipe
black bean recipes from poll
black pudding pastitsio
BLM video monetization donation
blog post excited about for ages
bollocking rishi sunak
book on culinary history
book signing in Belfast
books for slow cooker appeal

books for the rural coffee caravan confirmed never arrived 17.2.22 by rcc twitter

Brand New System for desk - wallpaper
bright blue think tank updates
brioche balls
brioche, mincemeat and camembert wreath
broccoli, creamy cannellini beans and fish
Camp Kitchen from the shed
cannelini bacon and pork belly pie
carrot cake baked oats
chestnut fudge thing
chicken livers
chicken nuggets with black pudding crumb
chocolate and prune oats
Christmas condiment
Christmas leftovers caesar salad - nov 2022
cinnamon granola recipe
coconut oil etc mouthwash quantities
coffee scrub
column for the Breakdown
comic filter security
comparison of 2021 £20 shop to 2022 £20 shop
compiling list of independent food banks
Conditions of Bungalow Bubbling lessons
cooking for one book
crispy fish recipe
curating regular book recommendations
David Walliams book reviews
dauphinoise pie
dealing with paying taxes
deep pinky purple mascarpone ice cream
denim shirt embroidery commissions
depressipes
detailed blog on nutrition
devilled eggs recipe - completed it, mate
dig out microwave and kettle recipes
DM to Yel
drawing nigella's garden
dyeing all clothes black
easy care for cutlery
email household management book to agent
ethical on a budget
explain daily usage of pythagoras theorem
festive pop tarts
festive vegan loaf peeling pie
filing accounts
flannel blog
flapjack recipe
food truck of joy
gailymail
goat kleftiko
gold rush xmas presents
great resources by trans + non binary writers
greek cook book
half-written budget xmas recipes
handing over her platform to poc
healthy on a bootstrap
helping disability and mental health writers
history of York road market
homemade hand sanitiser
homemade cleaning items
huge depop or Ebay sale
hummus price increase reason
hybrid cassoulet
ideas for pumpkin flesh
inbox zero by bedtime every day
jackfruit version of something
James Bond conspiracy theory
jubilee trifle recipes
kidney bean, black bean and coconut soup
Klingon gagh recipe
knit blanket
kolokythokeftedes recipe
kombucha whisky
leftover cranberry sauce recipe
lever arch files of fan mail
life hacks book
line by line spring budget takedown
links to small businesses
list of slow cooker recipes
lockdown larder 2.0 resumption threatened
lockdown list of services
make turnips not taste like turnips
maple syrup story
mashed potato secret
meal planners on website
militant boiled eggs
mince pie doughnuts
mincemeat recipe
mole
monopoly for charity with martin lewis
more cabbage
moving house
mushroom drying completed 2018
mushroom butter
New Thing
newspaper campaign the bleeping express
no- and low-fuel cooking
no waste cook book (on twitter for world earth day)
nutrition degree
onion chopping song
open the space squig box
Other Plans for cabbage
ouchy mouth recipes
painstakingly coated menu for week under £20
pastry recipe
patreon update
peasants pudding rec
picture of tree postcards
pistachio milk
pointing out real plants
pork and lentil bolognese
postcards, postcards, postcards
poverty memoir
puttanesca soup
quick pickling
radish recipes
recipe roundup on Instagram
recipes for small people
red ephemera soup recipe
redoing dinner to get better light
report for work and pensions committee
repotting spider plants from a friend
reshooting beach pottery in daylight
rooting out Amazon from website

running around in heels with a Tall Man GQ awards 2020. no evidence of running or dancing, but Marcus is tall. she didn't even personally hand him the award.

running order for xmas dinner
salt and vinegar sardines and spaghetti
sardine tin print
sausage and kale slop
Secret Ingredient - possibly banana skin
secret stock ingredient potato water
selling books on website again
send squig mandarin carrot recipe
sending maple syrup tin to fan
serious work
serving libel papers to fox/daubney/anderson
setting her teenage musings to music
sexy kitchen makeover reason
shopping trolley viewed Sept 2021, unclear if gift
sideboard photos reason
sleep hygiene routine
slow cooker bubble bath
slow cooker recipes, maybe for depher
slow cooker xmas dinner - before xmas 2021
some kind of timetable for SB in lockdown
something about how money buys time
something else Jack'll remember sometime
soup for bed recipe
split peas and cooking bacon
squigs pick eyeshadow looks
super secret shopping trip hack
supper nanny
support cabal for bullied media types
swamp thing
sweet and sour soup
sweet potato caramel
t shirts with offensive slogan actually done within 3 hours 1.2.22
t shirt profits to trussell trust updates
teemill profits
thrifty shades of beige
Thursday thunder clap
tiktok
tin juice cordial recipe
tomato soup water content - done
train video for squig
transcribing and blogging non binary talk
transcribing government bollocking
translation of a Greek Cypriot cookbook
unorthodox cheese sauce - done
unorthodox courgette squishing
Up To Something
uses for juice from del monte tins
various cornflakes chicken recipes
vegan char sui buns
vegan cheese list

vegan crackling deep-fried rice paper apparently, admitted April 2022. this was among the original items on this list, first posited in late 2019, preceding these threads

vegan diabetic creme egg (maybe)
vegan haggis
vegan pastitsio in collab with Linda
vegan paella with artichokes
vegan pie glaze
vegan version of upside down pineapple chicken
Vimes Boots Price Index - due mid February 2022
visit Poland
weekly routine
write about diva pdf experience
write about sobriety
writing a thing about tories and 30p meals
zero waste curry falafels

SPOILER]

Every time you post this list, I try and decide my favourites. I'm stuck choosing between these 3 at the mo:

James Bond conspiracy theory
supper nanny
swamp thing