Jack Monroe #331 Safe word - pumble

[Captainmouse]

I don't think she wanted a baby with LJC. She'd write about her groaning ovaries, but in relation to some disgusting anchovy slop, not babies. For whatever reason, the baby talk ramped up the second she was getting the

I'm pretty sure my sister met her partner online (she would never tell anyone, but my brother strongly hinted she was using dating sites) Seems to have worked out alright for them because they now have two smol boys.

I think this I related to sb, since the apart hotel and sb going to big school he spends very little time with her. I doubt he even stays over because of the journey to school. I think he just visits. This disrupts her single mum narrative, and she can’t use him for content. Also I would imagine her child support payments have stopped or been severely reduced

 

[Lazarus]

She makes Brooklyn Beckham look talented.

Thread nomination.

 

[colouredlines]

I wish I could. But I'd be outed in a shot.

If you are THAT MAN, I apologise if I ever made fun of your unusually large tongue.

 

[L3moning]

Guys I know this is probably the least interesting thing about yesterday but I can't get over 60p a word. Can we all remember this the next time she's bitching about how badly paid she is for her writing. Also, crumbs, that Telegraph invoice which she never bothered chasing up must have been in the thousands.

IIRC the Telegraph is one of the higher paying newspapers.

 

[Captainmouse]

Had a long and BUSY day yesterday and made the mistake of thinking I’d pop onto Tattle for 10 minutes before bed.
3 hours later and my face looked like this from the excessive involuntary cringing. LJC what a ride.
View attachment 1377537

Shame we can’t have pictorial thread titles, that is just perfect

 

[Upthisweek]

Last night I had a dream (nightmare) that I met Jackie at a Country line dancing class and she wanted to partner up. That's what you get for reading her Twitter last thing at night.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

My eyes have seen the tinder nonsense but by the time that information reached my brain, this happened

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

Poor ceramicist, he won’t know what to make of this.

A mug...?

I'm coming from the past, so betting another Frau has beaten me to this. Back to Grunking as I'm a billion pages behind...

 

[Django]

Last night I had a dream (nightmare) that I met Jackie at a Country line dancing class and she wanted to partner up. That's what you get for reading her Twitter last thing at night.

This is a horrible thought but have we ever seen Jack dancing?

 

[moldwarp]

IIRC the Telegraph is one of the higher paying newspapers.

And yet she tried to organise a pile on on them for late payments.

 

[LavaFlake]

60p a word for non specialised writing is actually pretty good iirc from my past life where I worked in an adjacent field? 🔺️

She's so privileged in so many ways it infuriates me.

 

[moldwarp]

Wasn’t it the dickwad little Owen Jones who got Jacks ovaries banging?

Spoiler: My tuppence worth- sorry long dull ramblings

I think LJC gave Jack a soft landing because she’s either a decent person and was worried about Jack or just tit scared of Jack. She LEFT, she was still around for quite a long time after that (revealed by her bike maps), returned as bubble buddy, maybe is the one who suggested and paid for the rehab (we don’t know this for sure), maybe even with the proviso that they could try again if she got her tit together, maybe still provided some support maybe financially (contributing to the cost of the crappy bungalow) and emotionally odd text/call. Jack was still commenting on LJCs Instagram posts but LJC wasn’t fully interacting back just the odd . All of this strikes me as someone slowly, gently shrugging off a dangerous, needy Narcissistic ex. LJC in this time has got a new job, been promoted, found a whole new family she didn’t know existed and is getting to know them, getting fit, healthy and gorgeous, travelling the world to amazing work events, traveling the world for fun, going to huge award ceremonies rubbing shoulders with real celebs who also seem to be her real life friends, winning awards with her teams, selling her house and moving (guessing she bought a new place), promoting others, being proud and promoting her sexuality and generally occasionally posting these snippets on social media to show that she’s living her best life and is looking absolutely fabulous. We only know she has another partner because Jack outed this. She’s successful and professional and she’s everything that Jack isn’t and Jack isn’t over it because LJC is living the life Jack thinks she should have and this is gnawing away at her so she takes to twitter and creates “stuff” in an attempt to either say “look at me I’m sad and poor, see what you did to me” or “look at me I’m the happiest busiest most toot toot person alive, see what you’re missing”.

Jack, who only months ago, was the most lesbian lesbian known to man, has done a 180 found a male OH who also happens to be deliciously ordinary and extremely generous, with a big car too and now is using a dating app to snag another man Maybe this whole baby thing was something Jack and LJC discussed wanting in their future, maybe driven by LJCs desire, and as the younger partner maybe Jack was considered the more likely to carry the child. At 46 LJCs chances of conceiving and carrying a child are getting less likely and this is the ONLY thing that Jack could potentially top trump her on. Let’s face it we know LJC is a dog person and Jack has always been about cats. Maybe Content was another “look what you could have had if you’d been with me” prop?Obviously this is all speculation but we know for sure Jack holds long deep grudges, see teacher who suggested she would only ever flip burgers, see tweets to her mother about scars on legs, see tweets about THAT MAN the list is endless. We also know that Jack holds deep resentment for her upbringing, see feral foster children, see burgundy land-rover, see 4.5 GCSES. We also know she continually blames everyone else for all her predicaments, see I’m too common for the beeb, I’m too tattooed for the main stream, I’m too lesbian for these people, keep your legs shut white trash. We also know that when she can’t blame people for her predicament she blames a medical condition, see fugue state, alcoholism, puppy brain ADHD etc etc. Whilst using all these props she gains another soul who can relate to one or more of these issues and another jackolite is born and the cycle continues.

Phew! Soz, with all that said, I don’t think it’s healthy or normal for a grown woman to be behaving like this, it’s clear she’s not coping and it’s clear she has no friends or family that have the balls to stand up to her and give it to her straight. I understand why many of you are concerned and can relate to your own experiences, wether that be sexuality, MH, going through a bad breakup etc, I think that’s because she had a literal smorgasbord of scenarios that anyone of us can appreciate at any given time and that is her main pull on SM and is why she has over half a million followers fawning over her and popping $ into her tip jar and over 700 people parting with their cash every month for nothing. She relies on good hearted people believing she’s smol and vulnerable, this doesn’t make them mugs, you (tattle frau) being concerned doesn’t make you a dick, it means you’re decent empathetic humans . Maybe I’m not a decent empathetic human because I truly believe she has cracked the grift formula that works best for the biggest amount of £ and most attention, so her online behaviour for me is not a true reflection but a staged performance.

There is literally not one word of a lie under your spoiler.

Spoiler: Little OJ

And yes Owen Jones is a dickwad. Julie Bindel calls him Talcum X which is chefs kiss

 

[MsGilmore]

I really hope that Jack doesn’t get the opportunity to have more children. She is trying to fill whatever she feels is lacking with dogs, men and children. Yesterday was funny at first, but then it just made me cringe because it’s obvious how desperate Jack is for any form of attention!

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

The puppy is SB’s and he has taken him back home. That’s my theory.

 

[GoLando]

If she is neglecting that puppy, or even just not giving it all her love and care, it’s despicable. Laurie could have been adopted by a household that would love and shower her with affection, and who would give her a good life without wanting anything in return. Jack having her prevents good things for Laurie and something lovely for someone else.

Bought - not adopted - bought. Paying £000s to people breeding designer dogs with little to no care where they go (probed by selling to Jack). A practice which encourages back yard breeding and results in many many dogs being abandoned. Maybe the alternative home might have been nice and caring, maybe not, but - as always al- it shows Jack’s impulsiveness and lack of care that she paid to be in with the dog in crowd rather than adopt a dog truly in need.

 

[Mr Krabs]

This is a horrible thought but have we ever seen Jack dancing?

The photo of her posing in a leotard was arse clenching enough. I would probably die of second hand embarrassment if she posted a dancing video.

 

[Dogmuck]

Funny and quite telling really, Jack is over there on tinder, then tweeting all giddy, being crass and teenager like about MEN, when all the women on twitter are discussing the fact some TORY, had the brass neck to suggest a woman has no autonomy over her body. Peak feminist campaigner Jack right there

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

Bought - not adopted - bought. Paying £000s to people breeding designer dogs with little to no care where they go (probed by selling to Jack). A practice which encourages back yard breeding and results in many many dogs being abandoned. Maybe the alternative home might have been nice and caring, maybe not, but - as always al- it shows Jack’s impulsiveness and lack of care that she paid to be in with the dog in crowd rather than adopt a dog truly in need.

Really good point!

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I’ve fixed some of your Tinder profile Jack. I made it rhyme with the original bullshit claims so it’s easier for you to remember

Gym rat
Has dangerous mat.

Festival fan
Owns DEAD grandad’s pan

Loves music genre country
Am perpetually cunty

Definitely Non Smoking
My food will def have you boaking

Flexitarian’s my flex
Seeks bollock sausages, sausage sex
(And lied ‘bout Uni of Essex)

 

[PumblesofWimbledon]

This is a good point - I’m Grunking as had a kitchen designer round, so it has perhaps been said. I think Jack sees her followers as friends, hence her page has drifted from what should be a professional account to one where she’s talking to what she sees as a room full of friends. It’s embarrassing.
i feel for her son.

OMG did Fern from Borsetshire Kitchens come round?!?