Jack Monroe #331 Safe word - pumble

[fairylights2000]

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Ask not what you can do for your OH, but what your OH can do for you

 

[Mr Krabs]

After 5 mins on Tinder…

(JK Jack, JK. You get yours. Use a condom. X)

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Sorry I must of missed this, when did he say this?!

He gave her a reason; she needs to see a doctor. That. There's you're reason, Jack.

 

[StatusWoe]

Live tweeting Jack's adventures in Tinder is much better than live tweeting her adventures in gastrointestinal distress. So there's that.

Her adventures in Tinder are causing me to have adventures in gastrointenstinal distress. I want to do the thing that tortoises do where they retract (right word?) their limbs into their shell.

 

[Emmapism]

Jack: 'It was totally out of the blue, he didn't give a reason, it's a mystery. I mean HIS LOSS'

Jack's Twitter feed:

 

[I’MBUSY!]

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Don’t worry, Jack. We promise we’ll never say you’re not mercenary about your needs

 

[moldwarp]

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It’s all about what they can do for her! Relationships are meant to be equally beneficial to both partners? Not if you’re Jack Monroe! Jeez - has the narcissism ever shone quite as nakedly as it has these last few days?

 

[Switchstreetz]

STAR bleeping ACROSS THE UNIVERSE!

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If you eat the salad pesto you'll be leaving in a hearse

 

[Hollaaa]

I've never done Tinder but I'm pretty sure this is not how you do Tinder.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

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Is squig talking about her, SB, Coops and Laurie and she has made a crude joke about her and her 3 dates?

Sorry for being clueless, I just feel seriously weird about all of this.

 

[Skyfall]

I mean she had to go straight with those nails.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Sorry I must of missed this, when did he say this?!

One of the tweets Jack wrote, when she's chatting about scrubs. (Sorry I'm tit at finding tit on here!)

 

[reCAPTCHA]

She sounds like a bad twit on that Tinder profile.

That is all.

 

[Upthisweek]

Damn those 100 hour work weeks are brutal.

Fraus, I am horrified but cannot look away. I’m hiding behind the sofa peeking at her tweets like they were an old Doctor Who episode.

Is she now dating Men? Men in scrubs, ideal man etc

 

[g.m.j]

Oh my GOD she doesn't have two doctorates! Sorry but this is my aneurysm - it's so insulting for Jack to swan about lying on her dating profile (and everywhere else) about having two PhDs when they're honorary. The whole point is that you don't do academic work for them.

If Jack's so immersed in academia that she's produced two doctorates, where is she when we're striking for our pensions? Where is she when we're arguing for the rights of early career researchers? Where's her outrage about the government's plans to arbitrarily pull funding from degrees they don't consider to produce enough "high paying" graduates? Where are her comments about Sheffield Hallam this week?

Bloody tumblweed is where.

This is such a good. bloody. point. I’ve said before, I think some people do great things and deserve honorary doctorates, they contribute greatly. But as someone at the end of their third year of their PhD, and just started antidepressants because of the pressure - she does not deserve to even mention the honorary doctorates. Doesn’t deserve them, could never ever ever put the work in to get one. Let alone deal with the issues in academia rn!

 

[StatusWoe]

I'm still grunking btw, so awaiting even more cringe. I've just read the Monroe the Man Masher tweet. She scares me sometimes.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

One of the tweets Jack wrote, when she's chatting about scrubs. (Sorry I'm tit at finding tit on here!)

I will have a look. I must have missed it grunking. Thanks

 

[Geetbo]

I wonder how many shots of the unruly labia have been sent to unsuspecting men/women so far.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

STAR bleeping ACROSS THE UNIVERSE!

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Even though we all thought she couldn’t get no worse

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

She actually does need to see a Dr. I know we are joking but these tweets are quite disturbing. The kids are probably off school, have access to mobiles and even if SB doesn’t directly see this his friends probably will. Big Dave needs to come round and take the phone away and move her home out of the crappy bungalow and seriously look after her.