Jack Monroe #331 Safe word - pumble

[Onestorytoomany]

Tbh, she is so thirsty and apparently so brazen about that fact she wants babies. I think she should be in a donor website.

This is going to go more wrong that the dry run of the atom bomb!

 

[hellosailor⚓]

Yes, it was spaniel friend.

Thanks. It seemed as though SF knew and quite liked OH. I wonder how well they know each other!

 

[Boyo]

Just coming to the future to say I’ve just got in after a loooong day and, we’ll, I’ve never been happier. Toot toot! Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to grunk I go…

ETA: Sweet mercy, I……I……I don’t know what to do. I‘m crying laughing and gasping and cringing myself inside out all at the same time. What a time to be alive. The aneurysm may be worth it.

 

[kachoochoo]

this is beyond cringe now, this is utter madness

I'm speechless

 

[BlendedSlop]

An English teacher, a doctor and a ceramicist walk into a bar.

Fortunately for all concerned, Jack sleeps through her 27 alarms and doesn't turn up for any of her dates.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

We got a full house, kiddos

 

[TankGirl]

"My 12-year-old son reads my social media."

"Let me announce to my 500k followers that I'm actively looking for casual sex!"

Pick one FFS.

I was literally just about to query who will be cherishing SB, the pupper, vaguely remember a cat, and also with the 120 hours a week work who would even have time for a wank never mind sex with someone else never mind the time it would take to go on a bloody date as well, just off to look for some Valium …

 

[Django]

Spaniel friend.
View attachment 1376461

Spaniel friend is getting worried about Content already

 

[LennyBriscoe]

View attachment 1376443

She really can’t have any dates lined up if she’s talking like that. Or if they are real, and she thinks they won’t see these tweets at some point then she can’t go crying on Twitter when she’s dumped again.

And even if she used a random name/picture on Tinder, she’ll be easy enough to find - unless she’s posted a completely made up profile on Twitter.

I’m glad she has one friend who can be honest with her. Not that I think for a second Jack will pay attention.

 

[hellosailor⚓]

An English teacher, a doctor and a ceramicist walk into a bar.

Fortunately for all concerned, Jack sleeps through her 27 alarms and doesn't turn up for any of her dates.

An English teacher, a doctor and a ceramicist walk into a bar. Sadly it was set so low that tiny wee Jack Monroe snuck right under it

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

On June 21st she posted that she was 358 days sober. According to my rusty sums today should be 1 year. Why isn't she shouting it from the rooftops? Or at least tweeting about it over and over...

It was 1 am on June 22nd.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

On June 21st she posted that she was 358 days sober. According to my rusty sums today should be 1 year. Why isn't she shouting it from the rooftops? Or at least tweeting about it over and over...

Sobriety (or, more likely, “sobriety”) was only useful to her because it was how she’d met OH and she could create codependent behaviours in their relationship through becoming ever more involved (e.g. becoming secretary). Now he’s off the scene AA doesn’t have a purpose for her because it doesn’t provide instant validation. I don’t think she was ever sober but she’s definitely pissed as a fart today.

 

[I’MBUSY!]

She's nicked starfucker from here.

Absolutely

 

[Feck]

This is either for somebody else's benefit or she is genuinely having a breakdown/under the influence. Big chaos. Lights flickering. Imminent power cut.

 

[Moxie_George]

She really can’t have any dates lined up if she’s talking like that. Or if they are real, and she thinks they won’t see these tweets at some point then she can’t go crying on Twitter when she’s dumped again.

And even if she used a random name/picture on Tinder, she’ll be easy enough to find - unless she’s posted a completely made up profile on Twitter.

I’m glad she has one friend who can be honest with her. Not that I think for a second Jack will pay attention.

She's told one of them she's on the GCSE syllabus so I doubt she's obscured her identity.

Imagine seeing a potential date on Twitter listing you off by profession...

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Guess that drawer of cocks is useless then.

Also everyone in her real life always seems to say to her" what a crap idea" and she's always like " hold my pumble!"

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Smeghead]

“just making this ceramic cock, then I’m going on a date with a little pocket rocket”

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Sideboard Bob]

STAR bleeping ACROSS THE UNIVERSE!