Eeeeee. Can't she just listen to Roy Orbison? Bit of Dolly Parton? Tammy Wynette? No, she'll post her dating profile on the world wide web for everyone to see instead. I'm scarlet for her 
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Jack Monroe #330 Boo, I guess?
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Taylor Swift started off as country, I'm guessing that's where it comes from!
"Oof, tough day. We had a patient come in with a rare disease-"
"Ooh I know, I've had that."
"Jack, only 1 in 10,000 people get it."
"Yeah, unlucky or what eh?
"
Yes to this! A friend suggested I go on tinder for a ‘confidence boost’ after my ex oh had an affair and left me up tit creek. That was 2014 and I’m still with the 3rd Tinder date now.
I've read sex Jack so many times now I can't remember the original lyrics. Hoot and fizz every time without fail.
“Does exactly what it says on the tin”
If the tin says Jack Monroe, Biege. Best known for grifting, attention seeking and bad recipes. Don’t leave in shed or likely to get stolen.
If the tin says Jack Monroe, Biege. Best known for grifting, attention seeking and bad recipes. Don’t leave in shed or likely to get stolen.
I once stopped at a layby burger van and the guy running it was so enthusiastic about his burgers. He could tell me all about the bakery, the origin of the meat, the farm where he bought his veg, the inspiration of his themed burgers, the reason he made his own sauces. I'd happily have stayed talking to him about food for hours because it was so genuine, unpretentious, well informed and joyous. Jack is basically the opposite. Who wants to watch that?
“Ah look at poor Sir Tom, he’s getting on a bit. He’s forgotten the words to Sex Jack
”
Jack's date night. Lovely evening at the local Harvester:
'So you went to the University of Essex? What did you study?'
'Oh I didn't need to study. I've got an honorary doctorate, akshually'
'Oh really, what for?'
'For being I, Jack Monroe, saviour of the poors. Yes, it really is me, check my tattoos of you don't believe me'
'.....'
'Ooh aren't the spoons in this place lovely? Do you think they'd mind if I...'
'Just a sec, I need the loo' (Climbs out of bathroom window and runs away)
Meanwhile on Twitter:'Having the BEST night with new OH.'
Four hours later, an annoyed waiter taps Jack on the shoulder to say they're closing now.
Lights off.
'So you went to the University of Essex? What did you study?'
'Oh I didn't need to study. I've got an honorary doctorate, akshually'
'Oh really, what for?'
'For being I, Jack Monroe, saviour of the poors. Yes, it really is me, check my tattoos of you don't believe me'
'.....'
'Ooh aren't the spoons in this place lovely? Do you think they'd mind if I...'
'Just a sec, I need the loo' (Climbs out of bathroom window and runs away)
Meanwhile on Twitter:'Having the BEST night with new OH.'
Four hours later, an annoyed waiter taps Jack on the shoulder to say they're closing now.
Lights off.
In the days before Tinder I did internet dating, never have I seen so many knobs, one bloke sent 2 pics, one of his knob and the other of him in his skiing gear complete with goggles, no idea what his face looked like but I could probably identify his knob in a line-up.
For someone who claims to have been stalked she sure does like to put it all out there and make herself incredibly identifiable and reachable
LJC I thought this was from the archives but it's from today!!! Crinnnnnge
. See you soon, can’t wait to see what she does next!”H, 68
Shop owner (hats), Essex
About me: I’m deliciously ordinary, drive a big car, love goat leg and whisking my partners away on city breaks, near big cities.
I’m 68 years young, lots of fun, enjoy a game of Monopoly and can certainly put up with a lot!!
Absolute Dulux of a human being. With my circulation I work best in two coats!
Girls who can cook and have clean nails get to jump the non-existent queue.
No dog owners.
In my young and attractive days I was on Grindr. Every day is a sausage party on there.
5’1.7” 
I am HOWLING at this. Best.Chaos.Everrrrrr.
By the way Jack, proof that you go to the gym please.
This is the best day all thanks to Tinder Jack.
I am HOWLING at this. Best.Chaos.Everrrrrr.
By the way Jack, proof that you go to the gym please.
This is the best day all thanks to Tinder Jack.
Seriously, any one with any sense will always google/reverse image search Tinder et al matches.
Imagine any of her swipe rights googling and finding the canal? Oh my days. Get ready for a ghosting, Jack. Boo, I guess.
Imagine any of her swipe rights googling and finding the canal? Oh my days. Get ready for a ghosting, Jack. Boo, I guess.
She doesn’t surface till noon most days and her day is peppered with dinosaur naps, but she’s a “pocket rocket” 
*Sure, Jan gif*
*Sure, Jan gif*
I wonder what ridiculously facetuned images she's using for her profile
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