OwlRightsReserved
VIP Member
This is so embarrassing. I feel like my body's inverted.
- Notice
This is so embarrassing. I feel like my body's inverted.
I’MBUSY!
Chatty Member
I honestly find it weird that she didn’t donate anonymously. Not only did she use her name, but she also announced the fact of her donation on Twitter. Obviously looking for kudos. Yuk.
traumatised sideboard
VIP Member
A man working in a charity shop saw me taking a photo of this book earlier. He slithered up to me and said 'excuse me, I couldn't help but notice you look like someone who is part of a canal of mithering ninnies. Your hand almost looks like it could belong to the famous traumatised sideboard, creator of Slopbot and Insultbot, purveyor of electroslop, inventor of the SLOP index, writer, videographer, artiste extraordinaire'. I said 'boo, I guess?' and we both started hooting. Eventually we were writhing around on the floor in fits of hysteria, tears running down our faces as everyone in the shop clapped and cheered. He let me have the book for free and even threw in a Russian to German translation guide.
colouredlines
VIP Member
Surely just writing the words "My most recent FIL" would make you stop and question where your life is going?
(To say nothing of the rest of the tweet)
Veronicaaa
VIP Member
Tragic
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
Can we just return briefly to the fact that she has added ex-fire service worker to her bio and how absolutely batshit this is?
I don't comment very often because self confidence, but some fraus might remember that I worked for an adjacent emergency service in a similar role at a similar time. [I then found myself pregnant (actual single parent), asked for a shift pattern change, and, lo and behold! they bent over backwards to accommodate].
I carried out the role for 5 painful years, but I don't think I would even put it on my CV now, much less reference it in my online fucking profile! It seems utterly bonkers (and a bit embarrassing) to reference a job you held so briefly over a decade ago?!! Especially if you go on to 'specialise' in a completely different field. Is it it because it's the only proper job she's ever had? Is she trying to convince people that she is a pillar of society? It just seems bizarrely infantile
I don't comment very often because self confidence, but some fraus might remember that I worked for an adjacent emergency service in a similar role at a similar time. [I then found myself pregnant (actual single parent), asked for a shift pattern change, and, lo and behold! they bent over backwards to accommodate].
I carried out the role for 5 painful years, but I don't think I would even put it on my CV now, much less reference it in my online fucking profile! It seems utterly bonkers (and a bit embarrassing) to reference a job you held so briefly over a decade ago?!! Especially if you go on to 'specialise' in a completely different field. Is it it because it's the only proper job she's ever had? Is she trying to convince people that she is a pillar of society? It just seems bizarrely infantile
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
traumatised sideboard
VIP Member
Thanks @Jelly Bean for the thread title, words from Jack herself. Your prize is avocadoes, yellow sticker nightmeat and tea boiled egg paste.
In the last thread:
Jack told a DHOTYA anecdote about going to Asda to buy a £3 vest. The cashier asked for her name to send her an email receipt and realised she was standing in front of Jack Monroe, the famous writer. Jack said (allegedly) 'boo, I guess'. We are pursuing a class action suit for cringe-induced injuries.
She is wallowing in break-up songs, including a Taylor Swift song with its perpetual catatonic reprise. Wut.
She didn't go to Glasto. Quelle surprise.
In the last thread:
Jack told a DHOTYA anecdote about going to Asda to buy a £3 vest. The cashier asked for her name to send her an email receipt and realised she was standing in front of Jack Monroe, the famous writer. Jack said (allegedly) 'boo, I guess'. We are pursuing a class action suit for cringe-induced injuries.
She is wallowing in break-up songs, including a Taylor Swift song with its perpetual catatonic reprise. Wut.
She didn't go to Glasto. Quelle surprise.
heretoreaditall2019
VIP Member
Regarding Jack’s current run rate of spending, would just like to flag what an absolute rock bottom guesstimate that £2.5k Patreon revenue is. Some scenarios playing around with 720 subscribers:
1) Assuming they’re spread equally across the bottom 3 tiers of £3.50, 7, and 10 (so 240 subs a tier) means a blended avg subscriber fee of £6.83, totalling £4.9k or £4.3k after very high assumed platform fees of 12%. This isn’t a stretch, the only two genuine appearing subs we’ve seen speak publicly were on the £7 and £12 tiers, remember.
2) We spread them evenly across the bottom 4 tiers (£3.50, 7, 10, 12) - so 180 subs a tier. This scenario generated a blended avg sub of £8.1, and a total payday of £5.9k before fees / £5.1k after fees.
3) Let’s be mean and weight it around the £7/10 mark, cos that’s what? One banana Michael? So 10% pay £3.50; 40% pay £7; 40% pay £10; and 10% pay £12. This produces an avg subscriber fee of £8.35, so £6.0k before fees / £5.3k after fees.
None of these scenarios are unlikely. This is mithering as there’s no way of us knowing the distribution of subscribers across tiers but come on, a bit of common sense shows she’s raking it in. The fact she’s gotten rid of the £90 tier but retained the £44 one suggests there’s at least one subscriber on it, for example.
Tweaking 3) and moving 10% of subs out of the £10 tier into the £24 tier has her taking home £7k before fees, for example (avg sub of £9.75).
Considering 4 of her 6 Patreon tiers are equal to or over a tenner such a scenario is not unlikely….. Sorry for the boring essay but this Patreon scam is potentially serious cash.
1) Assuming they’re spread equally across the bottom 3 tiers of £3.50, 7, and 10 (so 240 subs a tier) means a blended avg subscriber fee of £6.83, totalling £4.9k or £4.3k after very high assumed platform fees of 12%. This isn’t a stretch, the only two genuine appearing subs we’ve seen speak publicly were on the £7 and £12 tiers, remember.
2) We spread them evenly across the bottom 4 tiers (£3.50, 7, 10, 12) - so 180 subs a tier. This scenario generated a blended avg sub of £8.1, and a total payday of £5.9k before fees / £5.1k after fees.
3) Let’s be mean and weight it around the £7/10 mark, cos that’s what? One banana Michael? So 10% pay £3.50; 40% pay £7; 40% pay £10; and 10% pay £12. This produces an avg subscriber fee of £8.35, so £6.0k before fees / £5.3k after fees.
None of these scenarios are unlikely. This is mithering as there’s no way of us knowing the distribution of subscribers across tiers but come on, a bit of common sense shows she’s raking it in. The fact she’s gotten rid of the £90 tier but retained the £44 one suggests there’s at least one subscriber on it, for example.
Tweaking 3) and moving 10% of subs out of the £10 tier into the £24 tier has her taking home £7k before fees, for example (avg sub of £9.75).
Considering 4 of her 6 Patreon tiers are equal to or over a tenner such a scenario is not unlikely….. Sorry for the boring essay but this Patreon scam is potentially serious cash.
that interview is just a really good example of how narcissistic and self involved she is. “I went into a panic wondering what will happen to ME?” Girl when Covid was announced I went into a panic wondering what would happen to my parents. To my brother who lost his job. To my partner who had to continue working on the frontline. To the NHS. To kids not having schooling. Hell I was panicking about what would happen to SOCIETY, period. I imagine most Fraus felt similar. Jack though was just worried about herself like the whole nation wasn’t going thru the same fear.I was just reading an article about Jack because I am FORENSIC like that. Anyway she was saying that when lockdown happened in 2020 she lost her entire years income in 48 hours as festivals and talks were cancelled (rattle, rattle). You'd think with things returning to normal she'd be anxious to get those bookings again, rather than pull a no show on the biggest festival in the UK.
View attachment 1373967
Perhaps not bothering to turn up is what she means by treating every job as if it's her last.
View attachment 1373974
The rest of her twaddle can be found via the link but be warned there are slop pictures and the ol' shitting dog herself.
Jack Monroe on lockdown cooking, mental health and why Essex will always be her home
As an active campaigner on food and social issues, Jack Monroe was a leading light of lockdown. Holly Louise Eells caught up with the bootstrap cook…www.greatbritishlife.co.uk
MancBee
VIP Member
I am going to write a book on how to look after dogs. After all mine is so well behaved, people even stop me in the street to tell me how well I have trained him. Only last night when I took him over the park for him to do his doings a man sidled up to me and whispered something in my ear. He thought I was the best dog owner he had ever seen in the park at night. He was telling me about his pet chickens, well it was definitely something about going back to his to help him with his cock. He must have noticed I am good with all animals.
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
Upthisweek
Well-known member
A friend of mine was doing security at that stage and according to him nobody knew she wasn't going to turn up.
Marmalade Atkins
VIP Member
This reminded me that Jack's #lockdownlarder hour on Twitter was designed to clash with Jamie's lockdown show on C4.
She then tweeted these actual words:
blurstoftimes
VIP Member
omg guys i saw the tinder pic and came straight here - somebody please call an ambulance to 25 blurst street because i am actually dying
ChickenPorridge
VIP Member
I love how her responses to generous Squigs always go like this:
Oh you are so kind my dear honestly I'm fine, I'll be totally fine. I'd MUCH rather people donated to food banks, that's a much better cause to give what you can to. (Could end here, but never does)
I can just start working 9 days a week, scratch together a little dust pile to set alight for warmth and hope Coopsie brings home a decent sized mousey for SB's tea. You go on dear, don't worry about me x
Oh you are so kind my dear honestly I'm fine, I'll be totally fine. I'd MUCH rather people donated to food banks, that's a much better cause to give what you can to. (Could end here, but never does)
I can just start working 9 days a week, scratch together a little dust pile to set alight for warmth and hope Coopsie brings home a decent sized mousey for SB's tea. You go on dear, don't worry about me x