Jack Monroe #329 Pooroboros

[PuritySpiral]

If she doesn't turn up for this - having got the dog early and therefore made it impossible for herself to do so - I hope she never has the audacity to moan about the insecurity of freelance work again.

Who am I kidding? Of course she will.

 

[jenny2603]

I think she’s frantically coming up with a chaos story involving smashed phone, cancelled trains and some sort of health crisis to make it all not her fault.

Her Mediterranean arse collapsed after taking a tumble down the stairs of crappy Bungalow.

 

[10to2]

You know I watched Glastonbury last night and felt a bit sad that I’d never done all that wonderful partying and living life to the fullest like the people there due to various health and other reasons and that my life is a bit sad and small…. But the squigs always make me feel I’ve not hit rock bottom yet

I did my first festival three weeks ago aged 45. We were not missing anything, I promise you.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Hey people. I’m new to this thread after being so curious about why this was always top thread… all I have to say is what the eff is wrong with this woman? I hate victims so much. People who constantly address their “issues” and use them as a shield against their disgusting behaviour isn’t good.

She clearly loves herself a bit too much. The fact that there are all these posts about her and people constantly discussing her probs turns her on. Definitely the most attention she gets from anyone.

ANYWAY, my question is for a newb.. which threads have the most action? I have already lurked on her posts on here. Any that you totally recommend me going back and looking at, any involving drama or when something good happened bc I need direction. Fanks

In case it hasn't been said - the fake black eye! I think it's thread 65 or 67? Someone will correct me if I'm wrong x

 

[Ostapbender]

I think she’s frantically coming up with a chaos story involving smashed phone, cancelled trains and some sort of health crisis to make it all not her fault.

Fell down spiral stairs
Pumble incident
Did leg in while mowing the lawn with scissors
Bus delayed specifically to inconvenience Jack ("You'll never get to Glastonbury now, Jack Monroe" a stranger in a business suit sneered)
etc

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Nevertheless we need to know. Let's get the best brains on Tattle on to creating decent explanationos.

“Hi Jude, what is your overriding memory of the 20XX General Election?”

“What comes into your head when I say ‘Redcar’?”

“What do you mean you’ve never been to the Groucho Club?!”

 

[StringyMango]

Nightmeat related Thread title pleasethankyou.

 

[SmillieKylie]

Perhaps Harold turned up, decided he wanted back-in as he missed the pumble, and Jack is having a Harold/Pumble/Puppy related chaos.

 

[Smeghead]

Nevertheless we need to know. Let's get the best brains on Tattle on to creating decent explanationos.

Someone you know is writing a biography entitled The Life and Grimes of The Jack Monroe and this anecdote has been doing the rounds. Does Jude remember it at all?
Someone you know is writing a book on the Groucho Club and this is a story that has made it into the club’s folklore. What does he remember about the famous night?

 

[Prognosis Negative]

That's not my Jack, her labia's too ruly.

That’s not my Jack, she’s only wearing one pair of knickers.

 

[bladiesla]

I think people are perfectly able to worry about the cost of living crisis (in terms of what it means for society) when they can afford to go to Glastonbury.

I don't think hose are the voices at need to be heard most, and it would not be my first choice of things to attend at a festival. Nonetheless, I don't think that just because people are able to spend money that their worries/care are invalid or that it's an ironic situation per se.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

I feel sorry for her fans that are at the festival. Planning out what to do for the day and maybe binning something else off to go to the tent Jack is supposed to be at then she doesn’t show up.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Her Mediterranean arse collapsed after taking a tumble down the stairs of crappy Bungalow.

the

I really thought Jack would turn up.

Trolls in Jack's dms. Mysterious references to police advice, and it is being investigated.

Her wee boy was scared for her, and Jack .would move mountains and not turn up to long scheduled events for her lil man.

 

[PuritySpiral]

Hey people. I’m new to this thread after being so curious about why this was always top thread… all I have to say is what the eff is wrong with this woman? I hate victims so much. People who constantly address their “issues” and use them as a shield against their disgusting behaviour isn’t good.

She clearly loves herself a bit too much. The fact that there are all these posts about her and people constantly discussing her probs turns her on. Definitely the most attention she gets from anyone.

ANYWAY, my question is for a newb.. which threads have the most action? I have already lurked on her posts on here. Any that you totally recommend me going back and looking at, any involving drama or when something good happened bc I need direction. Fanks

I can't remember which thread it was - but the one with the 50p sized mouth ulcers that could only be cured by wearing bright red lipstick, as recommended by a lady doctor, if I am remembering correctly. The photos from that were so bizarre and I think it was around that point I discovered Tattle.

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

Standby for a dog/stairs related chaos. She realised she'd tripped over Coopsy too many times and that was no longer believable, that's why she got the puppy.

 

[purpleindigo]

I think she’s frantically coming up with a chaos story involving smashed phone, cancelled trains and some sort of health crisis to make it all not her fault.

They didn’t tag her in publicity posts earlier in the week, pre-Content - she had already bailed because she is a lazy, unprofessional mare.

 

[reCAPTCHA]

At some point she’s going to create a lot of content out of that dog. It’ll get sick, or there will be some unforeseen costs of some kind and she’ll end up threatening to sue the vet or insurance company, and it will all end up with a sick/dead dog and her shouting on Twitter “Poor people are even denied pets now!”

 

[Boogs]

I can't remember which thread it was - but the one with the 50p sized mouth ulcers that could only be cured by wearing bright red lipstick, as recommended by a lady doctor, if I am remembering correctly. The photos from that were so bizarre and I think it was around that point I discovered Tattle.

The photos with the alien like huge eyes and lips but she’s never had any work done and doesn’t touch up her photos.

She also can’t lie.

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

They didn’t tag her in publicity posts earlier in the week, pre-Content - she had already bailed because she is a lazy, unprofessional mare.

Or was booted to make space for someone else?

 

[SlopAmbsase]

I am very glad to have been wrong on this one! Jack, when you catch up with this, thanks for not being the world’s worst piece of tit and abandoning your new puppy for some Glasto self-publicity. I really thought you were going to. This is probably the first unshitty thing you have done for years, and it must have been very hard for you to put someone else first for once. Maybe there is a glimmer of hope for the poor dog after all.

I’m really sorry Lucy A but I think it’s more a case of train strike chaos and her trademark lack of professionalism. I bet Content was used as the excuse though.