Jack Monroe #328 Something went wrong. Try again.

[auntylil]

What is this nonsense?


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What.A.Wanker

Avocados, Jack, there's no E (pedantic I know, but that's the UK English spelling, plus I can't help myself). I know you're a "writer" but if you need an editor, loads of people on here can help. YW
Apples 65p? Really? Where? Is that for 2, or the end of the Aldi aisle where the cheapo range is?
Instant mash 80p - you have a cooker and hob, far cheaper making your own. People who can't afford to put their cookers on, fair enough, but you CAN put yours on to use a bit of gas or electric. Bag of potatoes - much cheaper. There's a tip for ya Jack!
Also, instead of not spending 55p on dishcloths, make your own. Aren't you always preaching about being resourceful? (Or maybe I'm thinking of someone else with a bit more intelligence...)

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

Fantasy list, check the prices, backpack on, diary in hand, fingers crossed everything's in stock (no seriously, look what happened last time they ran out!)
Asda here I come - for there shall be no other.

Please say tea boiled egg paste made the final cut?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Jack, please go and put on a film.
You can use the Netflix you don’t have, but won’t give up.

 

[Terrible]

That is waaaay too much stuff for one smol pixie living alone. No wonder she needs a skip every month. And such a load of tit as well - mini pizzas? Instant mash? tit Food for tit Days.

 

[auntylil]

a puddle of dna left on a cubicle in spoons could use a phone calculator, or use a hand scanner/self scan checkout.

This really tickled me!
There are some funny (and clever) buggers on here!

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

There's someone with too much time on their hands.

And too much shite under her fingernails.

 

[hellosailor⚓]

She's incredibly slow for a speedy f*ker. Wot a waste of time!

 

[NeoCortex]

I dunno Asda stock levels are pretty rubbish this time of day. For a company she hates she sure does slop I mean shop there a lot. Bet they have a can of febreeze hidden under the till for when she rolls past with SB and their bollock sausage laden trolly. Puppy tied up outside, cat left with the neighbour.

 

[Boogs]

She is definitely a Tory in disguise. How can someone make writing a bleeping shopping list into such a complicated thing. She is bleeping clueless and I would say she has too much free time on her hands but she shouldn’t do with a puppy! Has she crated her or shut her in a room?

tit Food for tit Days.

Thread title?

 

[Orphan_Black]

I dunno Asda stock levels are pretty rubbish this time of day. For a company she hates she sure does slop I mean shop there a lot. Bet they have a can of febreeze hidden under the till for when she rolls past with SB and their bollock sausage laden trolly. Puppy tied up outside, cat left with the neighbour.

Nothing will be yellow stickered this early on.

I can't believe it's taken her all day to write a bleeping shopping list.

 

[Boyo]

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He’s huuuuuge, 23 pounds, I weighed him ~forensically~. Most of his size is fluffy floof that doesn’t really weigh a lot, now can Mr T Roll and his compadres please leave me alone. Make. It. Make. Sense.

 

[kachoochoo]

oh i love it when she gets her pens out and writes a nice list for us all to look at and the squigs all go "wow, jack you are queen of the world"!

i mean, it's extremely bizarre behaviour because no one on this planet does these things, but it's still really funny

 

[Captainmouse]

What is this nonsense?


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And the pup??

 

[Orphan_Black]

oh i love it when she gets her pens out and writes a nice list for us all to look at and the squigs all go "wow, jack you are queen of the world"!

i mean, it's extremely bizarre behaviour because no one on this planet does these things, but it's still really funny

It's like she thinks she running a restaurant. She even has day dots.

 

[Boyo]

Tbh any train journey with Jack "Lingerie Honk" Monroe would make me crave the sweet embrace of death, but that especially.

ETA Oh it's lingering honk, not lingerie.

Lingreenie honk?

 

[jordishaw]

Grunking slowly, so apologies if this lands in a weird place, for frauen waiting patiently for a budget broccoli pasta recipe here's a budget one from BBC Good Food. The attitude to sausages on a budget is a bit different to the Monroe Doctrine so brace yourselves

 

[trueblue222]

That poor dog looks completely terrified in that photo with the cat and that photo shows how big Cooper really is. As for that being a gap stop shopping list. Get in the absolute bin. My gap stop shopping consists of bread and other bits and pieces.

I'm personally afraid she's going to carry on like this indefinitely. Bad mentals. Twee. Sad me. Grift. One thing I never do is take lessons from Monroe on how to cook or shop

She's boring. Irrelevant and irresponsible and if she has just dropped out of Glastonbury that's unfair on the organisers. Yes the dog is more important but she's unreliable. She's shifty and she also lies by omission.

So she loves Laurie yeah? What about your cat that has already had to put up with too many animals coming into his life and leaving? Same to Jack's son.

Many dog owners get their dogs trained. It doesn't have to be expensive. You can get dog training classes in community centres. The completed it mate really isn't cutting it with me right now I'm afraid

 

[Captainmouse]

Jack, if you're reading us, please, for the love of all that is holy, ADD A bleeping NAIL BRUSH TO THE LIST.

Maybe YouTube how to use it

 

[Lazarus]

That list of food she has in is disgusting. On Christmas Eve there isn’t that much food in my house.
She makes a living out of doing £20 shopping (even though she never does it) and she has the luxury of this in her store cupboard, fridge and freezer?
Of course I’m not saying the woman isn’t entitled to eat but she is a sanctimonious bleep.
Anyway, Scottish fraus. I seen this in M&S today and I thought of you all.
Sums it all up really.
ETA: spotted the wooden calculator in the photo and had a WTF moment

 

[Boyo]

There are absolutely no personal hygeine products on that list. I bet she stinks like an incontinent polecat.

There‘s your thread title nomination! Toot toot!!