From heartbroken to all aboard the toot-toot train in about 30 minutes? Calm down Jack, you'll get whiplash!
Jack Monroe #326 You absolutely reek of bitterness, fantasy and too much time on your hands
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OH "Jack I think we are moving a bit fast"
Jack "What do you mean, I have usually moved in within a week. We are going slowly"
OH "Those holidays you took me on, my brother said you told everyone I paid. And those earrings you bought yourself"
Jack " Oh well I just wanted everyone to know how much you loved me"
OH "But I never bought you those things, or said I love you"
Jack "Semantics. Let's go to the Harvester for tea and talk things over. We can watch Eastenders when we get back"
OH "Sod off, my brother told me about that too. Thanks for the holidays, but I think it is time we called it a day"
Jack "What do you mean, I have usually moved in within a week. We are going slowly"
OH "Those holidays you took me on, my brother said you told everyone I paid. And those earrings you bought yourself"
Jack " Oh well I just wanted everyone to know how much you loved me"
OH "But I never bought you those things, or said I love you"
Jack "Semantics. Let's go to the Harvester for tea and talk things over. We can watch Eastenders when we get back"
OH "Sod off, my brother told me about that too. Thanks for the holidays, but I think it is time we called it a day"
Oh no, I think I've caused a chaos! That tweet is from 7th March this year in the early days of the romance.
Omg these stock images with the stories are truly hoot fizz
Didn’t she just get back from a mini break this weekend? Who whisks someone a way only to dump them a calendar week later?
Didn’t she just get back from a mini break this weekend? Who whisks someone a way only to dump them a calendar week later?
Jack suddenly remembers why she usually goes for lesbians.
Gosh, imagine losing your favourite tree and your OH within 24 hours, what are the chances?!
Someone who has spent a week downwind of Jack and her unwashed clothing.
This has happened to a couple of folk I know IRL, in both cases a rejected proposal on holiday was the cause of the subsequent dumping. Just sayin'.
Omg yeah he went to Scotland for her smelly old clothes era too! Time flies!
She must have known something was up hence remembering she’s got arthritis and needing rescuing with a shoulder brace (?) but evening feigning illness didn’t work on this one
OH was there in the morning but had disappeared by awards night time.Omg yeah he went to Scotland for her smelly old clothes era too! Time flies!
She must have known something was up hence remembering she’s got arthritis and needing rescuing with a shoulder brace (?) but evening feigning illness didn’t work on this one
She's gone so barmy from her own lies she can't keep track of any of them. Her ducks aren't in a row; they're dead in the water.
Omg yeah he went to Scotland for her smelly old clothes era too! Time flies!
She must have known something was up hence remembering she’s got arthritis and needing rescuing with a shoulder brace (?) but evening feigning illness didn’t work on this one
Harold by Day 3.
Can Jack not see what the common denominator is here?
Oh God, you're right. Her last three relationships all ended under a Tory government.
Oh dear. A sudden break-up out of nowhere must be very upsetting. I wouldn't like to speculate why or what happened. I do feel sorry for her. Also, these destabilizing traumatic events are not good for mental health so if she did deactivate because of a break-up then good for her. Shows some growth.
If he did exist, that was a lot of trips together for such a new relationship. Probably all booked and paid for by the Patreon squigs, too. He's fled the scene like a rat up a drainpipe for whatever reasons 
So she's over the break up already then if she's reactivated her account? What a load of tit.
(I do believe OH is/was real though).
(I do believe OH is/was real though).
Maybe she been told she gotta move
Thing is, they don’t seem to have been together very long. Jack on Twitter talks about babies and forever homes. I suspect OH already had children (which is why he comes and goes) and he’s been freaked and ran.
I’ve read that joke about lesbians moving in on the second date, heterosexual men, especially older men with children and are financial solvent, not so fast. Some men don’t want to do it all again. I can imagine Jack is quite full on.
I’ve read that joke about lesbians moving in on the second date, heterosexual men, especially older men with children and are financial solvent, not so fast. Some men don’t want to do it all again. I can imagine Jack is quite full on.
If OH is also in recovery, maybe it’s not Jack…maybe they’re not as comfortable with the alcohol free beer etc and just can’t face a relationship, let alone with someone keen to punt them into the public eye.
So I’d hope Jack keeps a dignified silence and doesn’t start sadfishing or playing the victim.
So I’d hope Jack keeps a dignified silence and doesn’t start sadfishing or playing the victim.
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