Jack Monroe #325 She facetuned THE SKY

[Shimmering]

OH and SB must both have made their excuses re the barbecue.

All of this performative tit on twitter seems to be a passive aggressive attack on the people who left her on her lonesome tonight.

Wise the duck up Jack and try to enjoy your lovely life that many would be more than grateful for.

 

[Veronicaaa]

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Lol she's ridiculous. £20 a week to spend on value beans in order to save up for her very first forever home (price tag over half a million pounds, for some reason).

 

[Shimmering]

Also isn't she lying (for a change) when she says she didn't have PayPal during the poverty? I'm sure I saw screenshots on here recently of Facebook posts where she was setting it up before her big house sale?

 

[trueblue222]

Alternatively she could move further north and buy a cheaper house. Or shut the duck up

 

[Cack Conroe]

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Paging @colouredlines, did this vile specimen have Paypal during The Poverty? Shortly after the big house sale wasn't she setting it up on the advice of an early squig.

 

[StatusWoe]

I have the whole thread to grunk, but would like to propose that SB eventually graduates to TB (teenage boy, not tuberculosis).

 

[NellieBoo]

...when she says...."Gone to bed with a book", are WE the book?

Hehe. Wasn't that about 24 little hours ago she said that?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I wish someone would pay for her to come to Dewsbury. It's nothing like where she lives, that's for sure. She would be off as quick as her performative costume would take her.

I’d be amazed if she’d heard of Bradford, let alone Dewsbury (Leeds is prob the extent of her regional knowledge). I can see her response being
“Dewberry? Completed it mate”. A gift from her very good friend the puddle no doubt

.

PS -Not Jack’s nails, obv. Stand-in brown nails off the internet. Stunt nails, not bleep nails if you will.

 

[Cack Conroe]

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Two things: one, just because you've inherited a house, doesn't mean it definitely doesn't have a mortgage.

Two, if she's spent £235,000 on rent, and she moved out at age 19, that means she's been spending an average of £15,666 per year since 2007. That's an average of >£1300 per month. Since 2007.

All this proves is that she's a spoiled bleep who has been splurging on luxury rentals probably since before The Poverty.

And she definitely, definitely could have afforded her own property by now if she hadn't have done that.

 

[Cookiecookie]

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She's been to the supermarket anyway.

I know southern rents are ridiculous, but at the same time, Jack has gone for the more extreme end of the market. She absolutely did not need to rent the crappy bungalow, even if SB was there full time, and she had an OH. I'm not really familiar with Thorpe Bay, but surely there's slightly cheaper places she could've moved to. Does SBs dad live in a slightly more affordable area?

It's such a weird thing to be screaming Pov about anyway "Wah wah my 120ft garden full of trees and flowers. Wah wah my 3/4 bedroom detached house. Wah wah my £60000 rent over three years."

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I'm not someone who normally has an issue with food touching. But why is it all touching? It's just smushed all together in a bowl. Just bleeping why?

Anyway, I repeat, she's definitely been to the supermarket anyway amongst all her tree chaos

 

[Tabitha D]

Yep I think a few squigs’ eyes will have been opened today. Jack was so intent on arguing about the tree, that she forgot she was supposed to be pleading poverty and let slip several clangers about her home. The expensive rent. That it is a very nice area. Widely spaced detached houses. 120ft garden. Open space at the back (I guess the tennis courts she referred to last year).
Not so long ago, I saw a squig on Twitter say that Jack could barely afford the rent of “her council house”. I hope they saw all this today.

 

[Terrible]

Jeez, what a grunk!

I’d like to think some squiggs are seeing the light now, but, squiggs gonna squigg…

If I were on minimum wage, with a dependent, no regular income, and yet able to afford the rent on a half million pound (at least, estimates vary) house, (without ever missing a payment), take spontaneous trips abroad, own expensive furniture, wear two pairs of Tiffany earrings at once, cook myself magical cheap roast lamb because I deserve it…

…well, I really don’t think I’d be whinging about wanting a mortgage instead.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I've just been looking for something back in May 2020. I didn't find what I was looking for but I did experience these again and I think you should, too. Or maybe see them for the first time.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Random musing, but Jack claims she resorted to sex work to get her through the poverty. However, just letting a bank employee touch her feet would've got her a forever home, if that story were true too. Hmmmmm.

I'm just saying...

 

[Tabitha D]

I do think she’s being very naive about mortgages. If she gets one, the rates are not likely to be great (that’s if she gets one at all), due to her poor credit history (CCJs etc), and chaotic financial management (the late company accounts, HMRC record etc).
If she does, though, she’ll have that debt for 20-25 years. And full responsibility for the maintenance of the house (or, if it’s a condo type arrangement, costly service charges to a condo management company). Things like council tax, buildings insurance, etc. Unexpected costs may arise due to things like replacement/upgrade of heating, roof repairs, flood damage, storm damage, subsidence etc. (all of which could easily be £10,000+). And if she goes for interest-only, the property may not even be hers at the end of the term.
I don’t know why she’s so fixated on it being the answer to all her prayers. You wouldn’t think she was a grown adult.

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

I currently smell of honeysuckle. Just saying, Pal.

I love the flounce. I'm here for the flounce. Cracks me up every time. And it started so "innocently" with a bit of light legal advice!

 

[Jelly Bean]

I've just been looking for something back in May 2020. I didn't find what I was looking for but I did experience these again and I think you should, too. Or maybe see them for the first time.

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That garden is lovely. And big . You do wonder if Landlady is sprucing it up for some reason. Getting ready to sell it?
It is odd that keen cook Jack has never talked about growing her own veg or herbs.
She could easily do some in tubs and pots. Another example how her 'love' of food and cooking seems so forced and inauthentic. Always so joyless.

 

[Cookiecookie]

That being said, she could always just let that mortgage advisor touch her feet and bish bash bosh. What you moaning for Jack? Not many of us have the option to slip off our shoes in the bank for credit. Privilege.

I mean, if it was that easy, you'd better believe I'd be down the pedi place and then off to the bank instead of living with my mother

 

[Jelly Bean]

On a happier note at least the press have respected her wishes at this difficult time and have not done an expose on 'Woman wants to fell tree in her own garden'.
They must be really sitting on their hands over it though. Thank goodness Jack is so influencial.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I’ve just realized what all this hoo-ha about the giant eucalyptus is. I read these when I was little- all about finding magical friends who live in a magical tree with magical foods, and with magical lands at the top of the tree that gift you magical presents for free, and lots of adventures, some good, some baaaaad. I think she’s living some sort of Enid Blyton fantasy.

Never mind Jack, if the tree goes, you have dozens of chairs, one of them is bound to be a Wishing Chair so your Blytonesque smol plucky pixie adventures (with imaginary generous friends and presents all the time) can continue unabated