Jack Monroe #325 She facetuned THE SKY

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Title by @Froggies nominated by @hydeist and @Walkdengirl

Congratulations! You all win a framed print of Jack's legs against some radioactive foliage and a facetuned sky! I've got Jack's crack team on the case, and your prizes will almost certainly be ready for collection by the year 2344! (We can't risk posting anything in Southend due to the wormholes so you'll have to come get them.)

Honours to the runner up @DinosaurSenior who was nominated by @Terrible for "POVERTY'S BAAAD! Here's my legs." It truly encapsulates the Twitter monroe-llercoasrer

In the previous thread:

- Jack returned home via train, and remembered she has arthritis, requesting a medical brace and asking us all to look at her double jointed thumb https://tattle.life/threads/jack-mo...-piece-by-the-same-author.30871/post-10272048

- she took up arms for Starmer on twitter, received a bollocking from a Corbyn fan

- accidentally uploaded a screenshot of her facetune in progress - which led many of us to exclaim WTF as we realised she'd facetuned the literal sky.



- we all learned about the existence of wikifeet

- embarrassed & infantilised her son again, then mentioned his teachers follow her on Twitter.

- was a prat.

Wiki is the pink button up there somewhere ⤴ have a read if you're new, and please include the words "thread title" in any nominations makes them easier to track down when it's time for the next thread.

(I think I've remembered everything... but it's me... so feel free to chip in with what I've inevitably missed 😂)
 
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She's a joke. The house is your landlords she can rip up the entire garden if she wants to pet, as long as she adheres to health and safety. Also I thought she was out next year for greener pastures and an orangery.
 
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Lest we forget the sprigs of eucalyptus hanging in the shower. It all tracks (for once 😂).
 
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I knew in my bones there was going to be a chaos today and I wasn't wrong. Why is she waffling all this tit when she's leaving at the end of the year.

Tip jar rattle rattle. I also think it's hilarious that she thinks her landlady would sell her the house. Like. It's not up to Jack to force her to sell it never mind to her
 
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The preposterousness of the leg selfie has only just hit me. Imagine coming home from school and your mum is doing this in the garden, rocking back and forth to get the perfect ‘chilled’ look for her photo. Mortifying.

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I’m over here wondering if she’s trying to piss off her landlady enough to get herself issued with a Section 21. Can you imagine the tip jar rattling if that happened? Could be a cunning plan to crowdfund herself at least a nice flat.
 
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I get the feeling she is trying to get us to 🔺 the landlady and basically she has doxxed her by saying exactly where she lives. It’s appalling behaviour. Just because Jack shares every detail about where she lives and Daddy H shares his street address in newspapers doesn’t mean she has any right to point out where the landlady lives. It’s basically harassment.
 
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She’s literally the Queen of Contradictions (lying..I mean lying):

I’m the best tennant - I don’t pay my rent on time
I’m too poor to buy a house - I can afford a half a million pound house
I don’t have any gardening equipment - I maintain the tree in my garden
I want to be out of this rental as soon as possible - I don’t want the landlady to cut my tenancy short
This place is a shithole - it’s the best house ever
 
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Was Jack doing the VB(I) leg pop? Can someone smarter than me put a Jackie face on these.
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She’s literally the Queen of Contradictions (lying..I mean lying):

I’m the best tennant - I don’t pay my rent on time
I’m too poor to buy a house - I can afford a half a million pound house
I don’t have any gardening equipment - I maintain the tree in my garden
I want to be out of this rental as soon as possible - I don’t want the landlady to cut my tenancy short
This place is a shithole - it’s the best house ever
Also
I'm so crippled by arthritis I can't do anything - I do gardening, tree maintenance and DIY.
 
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So are we witnessing
a) a good old fashioned "bury the tweet" (the school one yesterday) as Mr Israel said he'll only take new cases if there are no deletions
b) a temper tantrum / trying to make upset LJC as she is having an exciting weekend
c) goading Big D into giving her money to buy the house as saving the tree will cure global warming plus give SB a forever home
d) something else
e) all of the above
 
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God, don't you just hate it when the depression gremlins start to nibble at your edges? She must have edges like a tin can opened with a tetanus spoon what with the lights going on and off all the time.
 
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My brother lived in a room in a house with his landlord. The landlord wanted to move and offered my brother the house for cheap. My brother single bloke and in a secure job could easily pay the mortgage but they wouldn't give him one. He ended up in a house that cost him nearly all his wages in rent due to it being close to his work etc. Advisors don't care if you can pay rent when regarding your mortgage pet. It's all bout deposits etc.
 
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And this shows why she is so far removed from the realities of owning property. We’ve recently had to chop two trees down - hated doing it but the roots were getting very close to the foundations of the house and I imagine would have affected our insurance if anything had happened. It’s also bloody expensive cutting trees down so no one does it on a whim!
 
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The demonstration today that Jack said her diary was clear for, to deliver her speech - what's the betting she just didn't turn up with no warning?
Crazy. This march actually was an example of campaigning and activism but crickets from Jack. Almost as though she is only an activist for 🤑
 
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Maybe the land lady is preparing to sell. With the cost of living it probably isn’t worth having such an unreliable tenant.
 
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