Jack Monroe #317 Poverty Contrepreneur

[NellieBoo]

100%. Bisexual is not “woke” enough (they’re pilloried for the prefix bi implying that there is a gender binary), and for some reason, everything that’s true about herself, Jack hates.

So pansexual it is, and she will probably claim oppression by traditional LGBTs and find some way to horribly offend lesbians.

She will, if she can.

I'm not a lesbian but my sister is. My best friend is a gay man. We are all in our late 40's/50's. I was my sister's 'flat mate'. I was my best friend's 'girlfriend' way back in the late 80's/early 90's. So they didn't lose their jobs. Or get hassled as some exotic creature. Or beaten up.

And it makes me pissing bleeping sick to my stomach that people jumping on some bandwagon get some kind of protection. Follow the money, indeed.

All those beautiful boys that died , the lesbians that have fought for their rights as females .

 

[Onestorytoomany]

My OH has a secret identity.
Haters call my OH an old man

Top tip,
Decant Andrews salt into a bottle of water with a dash of lime, to creat a useless bubble bath.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Love these but have to admit I prefer that dark That’s Life mag spin off which covers all the batshit crime and spooky stories:

Spoiler: That’s Jack!

Aborted oats came back to HAUNT ME!

I was STALKED by a SPACEMAN with a box!

Assaulted by MENDACIOUS PUMBLE as I slept through 24 alarms.

FACELESS bullies said my PET was OBESE!!!

Off topic but on the topic of That’s Life magazine, I do find this rather amusing

Spoiler: Vulgar, sweary

 

[Pavlova]

I think the artist David Shrigley is a secret frau, he's just posted this on his insta account

 

[HotesTilaire]

Aliens turned my crumble-topped pie into a PUMBLE

 

[welcomespins]

Remembering ‘gumshoe’ and laughing out loud here

 

[Onestorytoomany]

If anyone wants to see how it should be done Google miguel barclay this morning then look at the video where Jack was rinsing beans

I still can't believe she rinsed beans on national TV

Walloper (Scottish for dick)

My OH likes his beans rinsed.

Ok duck sake. I will defo stop now. I'm turning into her, trying to leave twitter.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

I think we can all breathe a sigh off Relief she wasn’t in the queen’s birthday honours.

 

[trueblue222]

Remembering ‘gumshoe’ and laughing out loud here

Sit the duck down I want to see Redcar has that effect on me

Also. Mind the dm she sent corbyn calling herself comrade Jack

Or the time she said she cooked in allegras restaurant and no one could tell the difference

I'm trying really hard not to laugh because my two cats are sitting on my bed and I might scare them if I start crying with laughter

Also. Her dads Chinese curry that she painfully re created and he told her it came from a jar

 

[Limey]

Remembering ‘gumshoe’ and laughing out loud here

I'm still not over her using 'bootstrap' when she meant 'shoestring' and now she's a decade into the grift and she can't change it.

 

[MarzBarzie]

A HORSE spunked over my lasagne. But it thickened in the oven.

Commenting from the past, but I can’t help but wonder if the horse thickened in the oven, or the lasagne?! Send idiotguidos. And Smackeroonies, obviously. Lots of smackeroonies for me (and me, myself and I).

 

[trueblue222]

I'm actually of the view that I should have bought beef and tomato pot noodles and not any of her books.

Seriously. Because I have three of her shite books and I haven't made one recipe ever

 

[Cookiecookie]

Worn with a strappy white bra underneath. It’s what Viv would have wanted x

I hope “cutting up clothes with a knife to take them off” gets a DHOTY tag. I don’t believe a word Jack says but this is beyond the pale.

Grunkaing, but me either. Surely, you know if you've gained a bit, and also, you'd have decided on an outfit beforehand, not just before you were about to leave?

Clothes shopping genuinely gives me the fear, but even I'd manage to put something together at least a day before. And I've never been to an awards ceremony either.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Jaccident Related:

Dentist Cupped My Face Then My Teeth EXPLODED in the Night

Pumble Ghost pushed me down my NONEXISTENT staircase


Non Jaccident-Related

I found a MAGIC PUDDLE and it changed my life!

EVIL LANDLADY put a curse on my adenoids

 

[trueblue222]

Grunkaing, but me either. Surely, you know if you've gained a bit, and also, you'd have decided on an outfit beforehand, not just before you were about to leave?

Clothes shopping genuinely gives me the fear, but even I'd manage to put something together at least a day before. And I've never been to an awards ceremony either.

I said exactly this earlier
When I go clothes shopping I rarely try things on

My weight fluctuates and I buy a lot of my clothes second hand so it's no biggie. I like fashion just not trying clothes on

She has more than enough clothes to be able to pick an outfit out well in advance

Just more attention seeking

 

[BlendedSlop]

I wonder if she threw together some Lady Gaga style meat dress using bollock bangers, bacon scraps and tinned mackerel fillets. Or maybe Coops and the brambly mice sewed a replica Viv (RIP) in the next size up, like something out of Cinderella. Can't wait to see the photos.

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Just me or…View attachment 1311476View attachment 1311477

She doesn't have any friends*
*called Kimberly

 

[Cookiecookie]

She lives her life as if every moment has to be a cover story for Take A Break magazine.

I think that's where she'll end up Her handy hints are just made for them!

 

[kachoochoo]

"HAROLD SPEAKS OUT

I just want to go home to margaret. I liked the idea of living with a young missy but see the HORRORS she served up for dinner"

 

[NellieBoo]

She will, if she can.

I'm not a lesbian but my sister is. My best friend is a gay man. We are all in our late 40's/50's. I was my sister's 'flat mate'. I was my best friend's 'girlfriend' way back in the late 80's/early 90's. So they didn't lose their jobs. Or get hassled as some exotic creature. Or beaten up.

And it makes me pissing bleeping sick to my stomach that people jumping on some bandwagon get some kind of protection. Follow the money, indeed.

All those beautiful boys that died , the lesbians that have fought for their rights as females .

I'm quoting myself like a twit. I apologise for my OT rant. I did try to edit. And I hope I didn't offend anyone.