Top tip: a bag is great for putting things in if you have more things to carry than you do hands. #tiggy+bo
Jack Monroe #317 Poverty Contrepreneur
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This is simultaneously the best and worst sentence I've ever read. Schrodinger's sentence.
100%. Bisexual is not “woke” enough (they’re pilloried for the prefix bi implying that there is a gender binary), and for some reason, everything that’s true about herself, Jack hates.
So pansexual it is, and she will probably claim oppression by traditional LGBTs and find some way to horribly offend lesbians.
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This would be in the top tips section.
Dear Take a Break,
I was throwing a party in my executive flat, but realised I didn’t have any furniture or anything to entertain my guests having sold it all to pay my bills. However, I remembered that I had a big box of hats from the charity shop, so I got all my guests to wear a hat each! They thought it was hilarious and still talk about the hat party! Don’t worry, only two of them got lice.
J Monroe
Easily Triangulated Street, Thorpe Bay
Top tip: getting into pointless Twitter spats and decanting bottles into other bottles are great, ideal ways to avoid doing any of the work you've been paid for.
She’s just publicly and loquaciously "outed" herself as too big for her own clothes. But don’t you dare say anything trolls!
I thought the "puffy" look was down to infected toothy pegs, sinuses or lymph glands. Now it’s steroids…oh, OK.
Except joint injections don’t tend to affect weight. Oral or infusion steroids, yes, but not joint injections. (My daughter had two today, and has had several in the last year for uncontrolled arthritis).
“My haters say I do nothing - but I’m really a GUMSHOE”
My mum just bought Miguel's green book. Fiver on amazon and bosh on a budget for me also a fiver. We are the official anti Jack family.
Haven't grunka'd the thread yet, I only need to know one thing, has she opened space squigs box yet?
“I make boxes - from turned inside out BOXES”
I’ll stop now.
I’ll stop now.
That’s the best/worst viz top tip ever!
Sit the duck down. I want to see Redcar
Top tip: to FORENSICALLY save money, simply use your LASER SHARP FOCUS to ignore your tax returns*
* in my opinion, m’lord
* in my opinion, m’lord
Julia Davis needs to write the Jack biopic
Different kind of bleeping steroids! The steroid injections for joint problems don’t cause weight gain. And I don’t believe for one minute she’s on oral steroids.
I haven't read them all, but the ones I have are all brilliant. Think this is my so far fave tho. Less tab and more old style sport I reckon.
Wonder if Harrolds fam are grunking tonight, hoping for a bank holiday chaos?
feels like a Friday to me so hope she comes up with the goods. Award ceremony and pleather leggings or at home recovering from the knife dress incident?
Hopefully OH gave up whatever their plans were (again) to come and calm her down with cheesy crisps on half a baguette slice. Dear OH, they're so refreshingly bland and malleable.
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