Jack Monroe #31 Grunka Lunka dunkety doo, we came for Jack but stayed for you!

Jack_M said:

1. It was my initial intention to do a channel handover. I spoke to a group of friends - including Black women - who advised me emphatically NOT to do this because of the level of abuse my account attracts. So I didn't.

2. I did some retweeting, but not as much as I wanted to do. I'm not sure if you noticed, but I was having a breakdown.

3. I clarified that on IGLive the next day. The company supported me from the off. I was breaching my contract by refusing to do the episode, which was the risk I referred to, and I have unfortunately been in a situation with a sponsor in the past where they pulled my entire contract over something similar. I didn't think that would happen in this case, but it still carried the risk. That was misinterpreted - and then the misinterpretation was repeated and twisted and took on a life of its own.

4. I can say that with my hand on my heart, yes. Whether you believe me is another matter entirely, but I know my own mind and intentions. I may not always get things right, I may misfire, I may be a bit of a twat sometimes, but I mean well. And I try to learn from my mistakes, and make things right when I fuck up.

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Yeah, that was me - I picked up on it as a 'What the fuck is Hellmann's playing at here?', not as a dig at you. Your original post did make it sound as though it was something that you had been threatened with on that day, not that it was a historical experience making you jumpy. I thought at the time that if you were being threatened with such things as loss of a fuckton of income/you'll never work in this industry again-type schtick for wanting to support BLM/BOT, that you'd have been put in an impossible position where you would have been roasted online for doing the live but threatened with the loss of what is likely to be at least my entire year's salary for not doing it. Which seemed completely unfair to you.

I didn't take it off these pages, however.

Jack_M said:

I'm not a liar. I wish I had the time to sit here and counter every single untrue thing on here that's been said about me, every thing you yourselves have twisted to fit the narrative of me you wish to paint and project. I've been so tempted, so many times.

Like the other day I was tempted to post a photo of the fucking grey unit that WAS 93kg - it's not the one in the middle of my studio floor, it's the one in the tiny room next door that's twice the size. I have four sideboards in my house, I mean congrats on correctly identifying one of them, but it was the wrong one. Speculation about my income. Speculation about my son, my sons father, my personal life, my exes, my home, my weight, my meds, I could sit here and literally counter every single one of them if I had the time. You have no idea how much self control it's taken not to bowl over here with photos of my labelled ADHD and arthritis meds, doctors letters, prescription photos, payslips, the lot.

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Why does it matter? Are you going to do that on every platform? Every negative response and interaction you face in life? Jesus. Draw a line and focus on what you can control.

As I have already said, @Jack_M it's difficult to know what are truths and lies if you delete thousands upon thousands of Tweets.

But to be fair Jack, if we’re wrong it’ll be based on something you’ve said. People here have very good memories and know how you’ve tweeted something two different ways. So yes you’ll be able to prove one a lie, but you said it in the first place.

GrunkaLunka said:

Hey my Tattlers, does anyone know much about furlough? Was just wondering whether I'm correct in thinking that if you furlough an employee, the government (?) will cover 80% of their wages? So, theoretically an employer could furlough an employee and then avoid having to pay them fully, even though they absolutely could work remotely? I don't know anything about furlough so maybe I'm very wrong

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I’m furloughed. I only receive 80% of my wage. The other 20% is not made up by my employer.

heretoreaditall2019 said:

@Pocahontas has revolutionised my life, I bought one of those ice lolly molds for like £7 and they're such a life line! I do 80% Tropicana 20% water and am obsessed, I have two a day but justify it with it's less than a glass of orange juice? And being preggo I need fruit juices to assist with...... digestion....... so it's pretty much a health food. We're still wholly reliant on Ocado who are out of individual lollies/ice creams unless you go for weird shit like a fab?!

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We had those lolly things but i chucked them when my kids grew up. Seriously regretting it at the moment!!

Lady Punchbag said:

Hi Jack, how did you manage to get diagnosed with autism in one visit to your GP.? Because they’re not qualified to do that. Did you go through the referral process with specialists as is the norm? If so, how long did it take to get the diagnosis?

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I wasn't diagnosed in one visit. I was diagnosed as a child following a referral from my head of pastoral care, to an educational psychologist-or-psychiatrist - sorry to be vague but I was 11 years old and the only time I have tried to raise this with my dad since he shut the conversation down. He came to our house and did a load of tests, some written, some observational, some chat with me, some chat with my parents. I then had a follow-up visit that I remember very little about, and he recommended to my parents that I go to a different school. It was never discussed in my family again.

A few years ago I went to my GP about something else and she was scrolling back through my notes to check if I was an overdose risk before prescribing a certain medication. She asked me if I had ever followed up on my childhood autism diagnosis. I said no because that was the first I had heard it given that name, I just had a vague memory of this man and his briefcase full of stuff that was put in the box of things we don't talk about in my family. She asked me if I wanted a further referral or any further support and I said no.

That was hatched down and edited into two lines in a Guardian article. I don't sub those or get to approve them, I just have to accept that whole important chunks of things I write for context and accuracy get yanked out or changed.

Cbacooking said:

But to be fair Jack, if we’re wrong it’ll be based on something you’ve said. People hear have very good memories and know how you’ve tweeted something two different ways. So yes you’ll be able to prove one a lie, but you said it in the first place.

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https://giphy.com/5r7cdobUP6FHO

Jack_M said:

It is pretty much impossible for her to work from home, yes. I didn't say she was furloughed because of her right to a private life, I said I wasn't going to discuss the specifics of it because she has a right to a private life.

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why don’t you get a virtual assistant?

MooBelle said:

I should have had a mini twister. Instead had white chocolate Magnum. Was yuk....

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White choc magnums are the best!

Jack_M said:

I'm not a liar. I wish I had the time to sit here and counter every single untrue thing on here that's been said about me, every thing you yourselves have twisted to fit the narrative of me you wish to paint and project. I've been so tempted, so many times.

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Rhetorical question: Would it actually help to correct every single thing?

The person we are talking about is a caricature of you, no-one knows the real you except you.

You do not have to come here and read about yourself. You can't control the actions of others you can only control your own.

MarmiteExtract said:

White choc magnums are the best!

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Caramel ones though

My adult child was diagnosed with autism recently. We had a chat at the Gp, a chat over the phone with daughter. A visit in person, both of us and she received a diagnosis.
only posting to show things are handled differently all over

Saint_clemmie said:

who don’t you get a virtual assistant?

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Whilst it would be useful, I could understand somebody not wanting to spend further money whilst still paying their employee and waiting for the government to stump up the promised 80%.

Remember Screwballs? The ice cream in a Daleky plastic cone with a bubblegum ball at the end?

PennyLoafer said:

Remember Screwballs? The ice cream in a Daleky plastic cone with a bubblegum ball at the end?

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Loved them!

Toffee Crumbles!!

Readingismyhobby said:

I’m furloughed. I only receive 80% of my wage. The other 20% is not made up by my employer.

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Same here. Still have to do 100% of my work though.

I'm paying 'em back by Tattling constantly, as you can tell!

PennyLoafer said:

Remember Screwballs? The ice cream in a Daleky plastic cone with a bubblegum ball at the end?

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Twoball Screwballs - one was blue and one was red.


I wasn't allowed them in case I choked.

I blame my near expiry on Christmas Morning 1977 for this - the neighbour gave me a Sherbert Fountain and as I was walking out of their garden to go home with my mum, I tripped, inhaled and frightened the life out of all concerned.

Cbacooking said:

I’m not really good at remembering things accurately so forgive me if i misquote. But at the beginning of our pandemic you actually metaphorical shook your Patreon/tip jar, implying a financial disaster. I don’t think you realise how poor some people are, who still contribute thinking you are destitute. However you choose to pay yourself you must have managed to put quite a bit away with DKL and Hellman’s not forgetting your usual writing and This Morning features. I think you need to check how you portray yourself now. You were poor/destitute for a period of time. Now you’re a successful writer, if people want to donate to you, it should be because of this.
Also, are you not really pissed off with the patronising tweeters, who say eg “you’re keeping it real” etc. Do you have people who will tell you, that wasn’t great, work on x y z. It must be nauseating to be patted on the head by these people.

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I wasn't paid for DKL until a few days ago, actually. Most of my TV work is unpaid, btw, I'm not sure if people realise that. The Marcus Rashford segment (they called me, I've never pitched to them) was unpaid. Most of the talking head stuff, is unpaid. Might not be the case for everyone, i'm sure some people are far more ballsy than I am in that arena, but I get paid for studio cooks basically, and almost everything else is a tradeoff for some book press.

At the start of the pandemic I lost a years worth of work in 48 hours. I was genuinely petrified, because no, I didnt have a savings pot tucked away.

I get told in excruciating levels of detail what I get wrong, don't worry, I'm not short on criticism.

Jack_M said:

I am aware of the man who claims I doxxed him to his employer and I have absolutely no recollection of that whatsoever. It does get reposted here a lot and taken as canon, and I don't recall every single interaction I've had with people over the years, but I generally have a pretty firm line on this kind of behaviour, and I would be incredibly surprised - and disappointed in myself - if it were true.

I have only triangulated and located one person over the years, because he left thousands, literally THOUSANDS of graphic rape and death threats on my website. Day after day after day, on the Diane Abbott article at first and then on everything. I didn't do it to be cruel, I did it because I suspected he wasn't very well. I never publicly outed him, I simply passed what I found over to the relevant authorities along with copies of his handiwork. It actually takes a lot of work to locate someone IRL from online, just because it's a skill set I happen to have, doesn't mean I'm going to use it maliciously.

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For God's Sake Jack - give it up, you don't have the skills to 'triangulate' anyone. You couldn't even work out how to turn off affiliated links on Youtube.

go outside, play with your child, make an ice cream sundae for both of you, phone your mum or a friend, binge on something trashy on netflix, Footner your feet and post the results on your private account, look up the furlow guidance, whatever.