Jack Monroe #304 Very middle class

[Ostapbender]

Was going to save this but who knows where we'll be by tomorrow

Jack Monroe in: Tomorrow there'll be an orangery
By Jack Monroe aged 34 1/4

Jack Monroe the budget cook was in a pickle: an evil man called Mozza had libelled her and she'd taken him to court. As she caught the wicked flash of his eyes from across the courtroom, it just made her determination grow. "Objection! I've cooked for poor people everywhere," she shouted. "Be quiet, Madam," a bailiff said cruelly.
"Break time," shouted the judge and they all left. In the canteen, she ran into Mozza and his cronies.
"Surprised to see you here Jack," grunted Lozza. "Thought you'd be going home for a bowl of rinsed beans."
With a brave and uncynical laugh, Jack faced up to him. "Gloves off. Lawyer instructed."
"You what?" said Lozza unintelligibly.
"A very expensive game of chicken," gritted Jack, "with someone who has a history of crossing the road. Good luck, boys."
"Say that again," threatened Lozza.
"White trash with tattoos and no training in media law, hasn't got a case!" mocked Mozza.
At that moment there was a flash of silver hair as someone stepped between them. It was the Old Husband.
"As I always say," he remarked, pushing Lozza and Mozza back with a gentle but firm hand, "you can't put an alligator in a bathtub without expecting shins to get kicked. Snap."
As Lozza and Mozza sloped off, looking confused, Jack turned to the Old Husband.
"If only you could reveal your identity to the world," she marvelled.
"I'm sworn to secrecy," he responded. "All I care about is winning this case. With your budget cooking skills and my... experience, there's nothing we can't achieve."
"It's taking so long."
"Be patient, Jack. Tomorrow there'll be an orangery."
END

 

[Mr Krabs]

Jack should do herself a favour and read the Arlene Foster judgement in full. Judges aren’t Twitter morons. They don’t take whatever bollocks you spout on face value.

Seriously, it’s comedy gold. Dr twit tries to pull the old ‘my mental health’ and it gets pointed out he was merrily doing podcasts while suffering supposed crippling depression. Also he tries all the usual didn’t get my mail/email type bollocks and it all gets struck down.

 

[Captainmouse]

Grunking after gymnastics class but she doesn’t seem to realise that werkin’ class folk own homes too, just not the sort that she would buy - therefore she has to rent cos she ain’t gonna buy a run down 2 bed terrace in an ex mining town. I’m not familiar with dahn sahf but I imagine she would want a 500K house.

Naaah that’s too cheap for her, she'd look down her nose at that

 

[HansThatDoDishes]

didn't Jack say her lawyer would work pro bono and the defendants would have to pay all the costs? If so, why is she asking for PayPals to fund the costs she says she won't have?

ETA GoFundMe squig was almost certainly trying to help her here too.

 

[Hootrena]

I've used the wow emoji so much in the last few hours

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Sigh…

That bookshop is always trying to get rid of her books. The last time they offered some up for free they didn't get many takers and had to keep retweeting their offer

 

[Darlingbitgauche]

didn't Jack say her lawyer would work pro bono and the defendants would have to pay all the costs? If so, why is she asking for PayPals to fund the costs she says she won't have?

ETA GoFundMe squig was almost certainly trying to help her here too.

She deleted that tweet last night but have seen plenty of squigs sharing the tip jar link for people asking about crowdfunding

 

[HotesTilaire]

its “Whoomp” (There it is) not “womp ” you whelksplat. Doesn’t rhyme with yomp, before you put it in a poem, pet.
Please, go and put on a film.

 

[jenny2603]

Well said squig.

See how the white wing cower in terror from the smol shin kicker. Jack is such a badass.

Silks on speed dial squig has entered the chat!

 

[wibble]

Is Laurence Fox wobbling?
Or egging her on?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I agree, this is a different level to her usual nonsense. Usually when she wants her “forever home” she’ll talk about it in a subtle, but very manipulative way. Now she‘s blatantly announcing that she‘s jumping on this so she can take in a fortune and buy a house.

There must be more going on behind the scenes and she’s getting desperate.I don’t know, genuine speculation.

Super behind as it’s the loveliest day but probably the harrowing realisation that she’s not gonna end up with someone rich. Even a mere mortal additional rate tax payer will have concerned mates who Google the grifter. Any home her and OH buy now will be largely dependent on her (undeclared) income and likely not up to scratch.

It’s embarrassing watching her scramble around the YouTube right wingers for a spare fiver/£750k for the forever home.

 

[Yel]

I will be interested to see how this pans out…

I think we've gone way past peak chaos. She can't just give up now as she's taken no doubt thousands maybe even 5 figures in cash donations.

But it'll probably end up like vicky Beckham index and pretend like something is happening in the background when duck all is going on.

 

[Darlingbitgauche]

Not blue ticker but over 55k followers.

Careful Sir Richard, you're gonna get a womp!

 

[HotesTilaire]

View attachment 1266067I'm not at all knowledgeable about legal stuffs but I found this interesting regarding a case that Elton John brought to court. By my understanding this was thrown out because it was written in an entertainment section and not as a serious news report and so the tone of the piece was what was considered important. Similarly, The Reclaim Party piece is very much in keeping with the tone of their previous scathing articles/interviews. By their very nature they claim freedom of speech and the right to air their opinions. The remark was flippant, the use of the word 'probably' clears the claim of fact and had it not been for JM highlighting it, it would have reached a very small audience.

As for 'takes from the poor' and is a 'self proclaimed saviour', well, no contest, your honour. In my opinion. Allegedly, etc.

This is the graun all over- opinion piece won’t be understood as “fact”
Except they are, as we see here all the time.

 

[It’s The Truman Show]

Who would even pay the royalties?! Libraries are underfunded, so it ain't them!

Think they do get something. I’ve seen authors mention this when people apologise for getting their book from a library to save £ and they’ve said they still get paid and they’d rather we all supported libraries

 

[Nottonightbabe]

They are correct though, she does beg for money and some of that money does come from people with very little to give. We have the screenshots of her posting her PayPal to beg for money as soon as lockdown hit, saying she wouldn't be getting much work (err join the club ). And that was one example of her asking for donations just because she wants the money, rather than for a purpose (website/frivolous court cases). A much more blatant beg than when it's under the guise of it paying towards something tangible.

Waves to the 'Boys' screenshots are all here dears, fill your boots.

 

[Veronicaaa]

He's called her a bully. She won't like that

 

[Orphan_Black]

Think they do get something. I’ve seen authors mention this when people apologise for getting their book from a library to save £ and they’ve said they still get paid and they’d rather we all supported libraries

I've learned something today! Never knew at all!

A lot of Fraus have found her books in charity shops. At least she can't profit from those.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

All I can say is poor poor SB, he's what 13 and she's going to waste what a year or so ( depending on how long it takes) fighting this. He will have left home like a whippet and she will still be clawing about being called Rich when she's not.

Honestly she is wasting so much unnecessary time, chasing a non thing!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Also am just a mere peasant buying and selling a house but we had our own instructing chaos cos it’s actually more of a process than pointing at ur insane solicitor and saying I’ll have you, petTM. Our sellers had believed they’d instructed their solicitor but they hadn’t actually as you’ve got to sign paperwork and pay something to have on your account. Formally instructing our solicitor took around a week after the first email they sent our chunky packs, we sent it back and transferred money, etc etc and we have used them previously so they actually know us! Idk if it’s easier for STARS like Jackie but surely they need to pass through KYC and other DD checks…?