Jack Monroe #300 Fauxcialist

[heretoreaditall2019]

My family still mock the Sausagna.

IRL - your family didn’t know how good they have it, OH’s are going back for more

 

[Falkor]

Hang on, I thought it was us supposed to be having the aneurysm, not her?!

 

[trueblue222]

That whole menu screams look at me I’m a twit. I remember decades ago when I was dating for the first time we used to get rice chips and curry sauce from the takeaway and I still eat that now and then

Like. Fennel loaf with a broccoli jus with mushroom breadcrumbs over some wanky noodles. Get in the bin. Less is more

Herb smoosh. Actually duck right off. And when you get there duck of a lot more

 

[Flumps]

She just hates cooking, I think, that’s why it’s stressful for her. Also, drama.

Our dinner tonight is

Roast pork (including crackling)
Roast potatoes
Stuffing
Buttered cabbage
Honey and thyme glazed carrots
Apple sauce
Gravy

I’ve also pottered in the garden, done a load of washing, discussed upcoming exams with my daughter, helped OH (sorry) plank some wood, had my parents pop in for coffee and titted about on the internet.

The cooking part of the day was nice and restful, because it’s all repeated and familiar processes and quite a mindful thing. Not a stress. She just hates it and isn’t good at it and makes everything a huge performance instead of getting on with it.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

IRL - your family didn’t know how good they have it, OH’s are going back for more

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And then everyone clapped

 

[Awful]

IRL - your family didn’t know how good they have it, OH’s are going back for more

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Took it home to be polite and dumped it roadside

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Small mercies re the ASDA cake I suppose. Touch wood the McFlurry machine isn’t broken ey x

 

[moldwarp]

I read those FB posts recently. It was interesting that JM framed it as her parents wanted the birthmarks removed and had her undergo painful treatments that were ultimately unsuccessful. The treatments also prevented her from learning to swim, a bugbear of hers to this day. Then Ma Monroe commented that the opposite was true, that JM insisted on having the birthmarks removed. Very strange family dynamics.

Could she not learn to swim as an adult? Or is this the one single thing in the world that Jack has not completed it mate?

I agree re the family dynamics, and I do feel for Jack as I am sure her childhood was difficult in a lot of ways. Certainly she has described in detail some very traumatic things, and I feel for her. Where my sympathy ends is that at some point one does have to take as much responsibility as one possibly can for one’s own MH, whilst this is certainly not possible for everyone Jack has three therapists on speed dial so she has access to help and therefore she should really be taking responsibility to work through her traumas? Repeating the same harmful behaviours does not help anyone and they end up being passed on to the next generation which is not fair.

It’s these sorts of lies I find the most baffling. We suspect a lot of what she says about her past are either lies or gross exaggerations, but we can’t definitely prove it. However, many of us and many of her Twitter followers will have cooked for a larger group, and we know what it’s like and while it can be stressful it doesn’t involve sweating and trashing your kitchen.

Yeah I know. I think it’s a manifestation of the victim hood elevenerifing, like if you’ve ever had a stressful big meal to prepare then Jack has too but hers was much more sEvErE? Either that or she’s trying to be funny. But that would require a sense of humour.

 

[hollywood]

I used to have this a lot as well when I was younger! My mum’s friend who is Italian used to make it for me when she looked after me. She called it pastina and I used to absolutely love it.

I love it my ex husbands aunt made it a lot and he did not do it justice by calling it watery soup even though he loved it as much as I did .

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Small mercies re the ASDA cake I suppose. Touch wood the McFlurry machine isn’t broken ey x

At least Asda provided them with something palatable . Send rennieso

 

[Cack Conroe]

This is some excellent armchair psychologising and I agree with everything you say apart from the bit about her mum being pulled in - I think her mum is prone to the same victim cosplaying and they compete with it a bit.

i would also refer you to that weird exchange a few years ago where Jack was talking about how hard she found it as a kid having a large birthmark on her leg (understandable) and mum was quite defensive, saying they’d tried all sorts of treatments for her and it turned out child Jack had demanded her parents get their legs tattooed to have matching “birthmarks”. I found that quite interesting.

I’m glad you said this, I got the same gut feeling that Mammy is also prone to… overly identifying with her ailments.

I think they both value victimhood highly. I think Mammy also has genuine sympathy, but sometimes wants a piece of the pie herself, but Jack has dialled it up to 11 due to growing up into the modern middle-class oppression politics cult. She doesn’t have actual empathy for the suffering, she wants to be them so she can be more “valid”.

 

[trueblue222]

And then everyone clapped

And declared it the bestest meal they had ever eaten in their entire life

 

[kachoochoo]

Like some crazy maverick mofo, I'm back from doing the shopping where the sole purpose was browsing the ice cream aisle and now I've got a whole hour to myself before I need to be BUSY. I've decided to have half a mint Vienetta and settle down with #thread 31. I've bought Mrs ST a Solero as it seemed appropriate and Frank's got a Judes (dog friendly) gelato ice cream.
#beautiful.

argh, I'm grunking a few pages but sweetie t here's just made me remember that I was gonna get a viennetta today and I completely forgot! I am devastated

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

No, Jack, what's happened is, either:

A) They've pretended to be full and asked for doggy bags so that, when out of sight, they can softly, gently placed the food in the bin

or

B) Taken home to see if its so bad even the dog till turn its nose up at Sunday Slop

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Ahh, of course it is all gone with no pics!

 

[FlowerOfTheEast]

argh, I'm grunking a few pages but sweetie t here's just made me remember that I was gonna get a viennetta today and I completely forgot! I am devastated

Babe, same. Only remembered once I was halfway home from the supermarket.

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

Can I pretend that this one is taking the piss? Please ... just for 5 minutes? Promise I won't say BUM any more today.

 

[Vroo]

Happy 300 to all the mithering ninnies of the canal. I rarely post as always on perma grunk but agree that this thread had been a lovely break from real life over the past couple of years (not always of course given absolute rubbish Jack comes away with irl).

 

[Cack Conroe]

IRL - your family didn’t know how good they have it, OH’s are going back for more

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Hun, they’ve taken doggy bags so they can bin them and don’t have to actually finish the meal.

 

[YenE]

All I have to say is

Spoiler

poor cunts eating that slop. Phone a takeaway I beg you

Hope you all did lat flows before meeting up in a big group to eat slop

I thought her oven was broken?

 

[SarcasticEllis]

No, Jack, what's happened is, either:

A) They've pretended to be full and asked for doggy bags so that, when out of sight, they can softly, gently placed the food in the bin

or

B) Taken home to see if its so bad even the dog till turn its nose up at Sunday Slop

its making me think of Rachel’s ‘English trifle’ where they all sneak off to leave the plates in various places