Jack Monroe #300 Fauxcialist

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

The menu is interesting. Despite this 'new' idea of things having few ingredients/flavours, there are still a lot of flavours on that plate. However, looks like everything will be overpowered by lemon anyway so Wtfdik

 

[Walkdengirl]

(they do the cutest tiny star shaped pasta for toddlers, mine are too old for it now and I miss it )

I'm sure ocado sell that, I accidently ordered it during lockdown when it was the only pasta they had in stock, when it arrived my son who was putting the shopping away came in hooting whilst waving the package. It wasn't wasted as when I told my Italian friend he was excited as his mother used to cook it for him in soup as a child so I gave it to him.

 

[panda_eyes]

Big Dave appears to have locked his Facebook down a bit. Good

 

[SarcasticEllis]

Can do a five courser for the OH fam but couldn’t even do some roasties for Xmas dinner with SB and the ‘bubble buddy’

 

[BananaSmith]

Why so much lemon?

Wonder if it's the rare Passive Aggressive Lemon?

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Big Dave appears to have locked his Facebook down a bit. Good

Hi Jack & Big D

Whilst you’re here, can you ask your daughter to pay her taxes? And the Teemill profits?

Thankyou

 

[BananaSmith]

Is she going to bring out the empty chair photo again?

What a stupid brown nosing reply.
Cringing
View attachment 1251993

To the brown nosing reply ( not Grifty M)

 

[Sglodion]

I am quite a chilled cook. I never really get in a flap, no matter what I am cooking. I just deal with it. That being said I couldn't handle a high end working kitchen with the bossiness of the head chef. They would get a pan to the head.

Same, but as a result I'm reeeeally slow so definitely couldn't handle working in a professional kitchen. Whenever I cook for my parents they joke that the food will be amazing but we won't be eating it til midnight.

 

[BananaSmith]

Hello! I've been a lurker from Thread 1, I thought I'd finally pop my head in for Thread 300. To celebrate, I've done an advanced search on Twitter to get some stats for you all Obviously this doesn't include deleted tweets, I'm sure there's a lot more that we can't access anymore!

Number of times Jack has said she's exhausted - 25

Number of times Jack has mentioned that SHE RENTS - 40

Number of times Jack has threatened to sue for libel - 7

Number of times that Jack has mentioned trolls - 26

Number of times that Jack has asked people to donate to Trussell Trust - 8

Number of times that Jack has asked people to donate to Jack - 9, plus tip jar in bio and TWO links on her website (both Donate and Tip Jar lead to her paypal.me)

@happyclouds I take it that just this week's stats?

 

[hollywood]

Same, but as a result I'm reeeeally slow so definitely couldn't handle working in a professional kitchen. Whenever I cook for my parents they joke that the food will be amazing but we won't be eating it til midnight.

I’m exactly the same. My family know whatever time I say it’s going be at least two hours after. We all like eating late anyway . A professional kitchen would end me .I hate the thought of people touching my food to display it and kitchens are so hot that brow sweat is going to be dripping . I get that there are standards to be maintained when people are paying a high price for food but the amount getting thrown in food waste bins because of minor issues always shocks me.

 

[Elastoblast]

Can we have vientettas again on the next milestone...thread 344? Much love to all you Herrs and Fraus on this auspicious occasion. I've been working all weekend and peeking in to the thread on my breaks to what joyous gavotting is going on.

 

[maytoseptember]

I’ve just realised, also, that not only is her ex’s/SB’s dad FB wide open, but so is his young daughter’s. Madness. Who would do that? And guess whose birth coincided with The Poverty™️ and who in the accompanying pictures looks very much clean, well-fed, with warm clothes on?

Whoa. I didn’t realise the birth of a new sibling (well, half-sibling) could have been one of the reasons why Jack descended into fake poverty. Makes total sense.

 

[usefullyuseless]

She's back. And cooking.

You're not Irish, Jack. You can't sit with us.

 

[Captainmouse]

Can we have vientettas again on the next milestone...thread 344? Much love to all you Herrs and Fraus on this auspicious occasion. I've been working all weekend and peeking in to the thread on my breaks to what joyous gavotting is going on.

Talking of which can gavotting and spiral be added to the jackionary? I appreciate we can all edit the wik, but I don’t want to stuff it up

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

It’s a family Sunday dinner!

Those goddam potatoes had better be tinned or I’m cancelling my Patreon.

BTW, she SO wants to be in our gang – chairs out the garage, aneurysm. Nope, won’t let you in...Shan’t.
Have a lovely evening anyway, buddy

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

Happy 300, gang.

My menu today:
Roast chicken with red onion, with fresh parsley, sage, rosemary, thyme.
tenderstem broccoli with garlic and lemon
Jersey royals potato salad
Massive salad with lots of fresh herbs, dressing etc
Rhubarb crumble and custard

I am awed and impressed by this. I couldn’t do this in a million years, seriously!

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Fresh lemons?? Nah, she'll be pulling out her ancient Jif bottle for the occasion.

The one where the contents have turned a shade of brown.

 

[Bwidge]

I had an M&S chicken filled yorkshire pud and a watermelon lolly. No smoosh.

 

[moldwarp]

Bisexuals exist, thank you.

Yeah I know, I am one.

She's back. And cooking.

This is such bullshit. Sweated through 4 t-shirts, what did she run a marathon, is she peri menopausal? How did she break two knobs on her oven, did she have some kind of smol pixie howling convulsion rage and attack it? Why is she portraying lunch as a multifaceted operation with a complexity equal to the D Day landings?

Big Dave is half English, he has posted about his military maternal grandfather on Facebook. That makes Jack 1/4 Cypriot. And 1/2 northern Irish Protestant, not Irish Mammy.

Big Dave seems very pompous and overly proud of himself, the difference between him and his sly, grifting daughter is that he actually has the kudos to back his ego up.

Being raised to have an ego the size of a galaxy, combined with a complete lack of ability or redeeming features, must have been very disturbing for Jack’s self-esteem. Hence developing the delusions of grandeur and compulsive lying. She craves the respect that is granted to her dad but has done nothing to deserve it.

She craves the sympathy that her mum and others give to suffering or struggling foster kids, hence the Münchausen syndrome and the pov cosplay. Some time ago on Twitter she was putting on a show of being alcoholic with mental health issues, and her mum was all over it, giving sympathy and saying she feels like she failed as a mum. That’s exactly the reaction that Jack wants.

They’re not bad people and I’m sure overall they’re very good parents, but their imperfections combined in the most horrifying way when raising Jack. They’ve created a monster.

I would say they must be so ashamed, but I think that Big Dave like Jack is incapable of accepting fault, while her mum is fully pulled in by her victim-signalling.

This is some excellent armchair psychologising and I agree with everything you say apart from the bit about her mum being pulled in - I think her mum is prone to the same victim cosplaying and they compete with it a bit.

i would also refer you to that weird exchange a few years ago where Jack was talking about how hard she found it as a kid having a large birthmark on her leg (understandable) and mum was quite defensive, saying they’d tried all sorts of treatments for her and it turned out child Jack had demanded her parents get their legs tattooed to have matching “birthmarks”. I found that quite interesting.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Hi Jack & Big D

Whilst you’re here, can you ask your daughter to pay her taxes? And the Teemill profits?

Thankyou

But she doesn’t read here!