Jack Monroe #288 Only a psychopath separates a bunch of bananas for a photograph.

[kachoochoo]

Jack loves... one of the most boring stories I've ever read on that hellsite

(the tldr is that one of his mates accidentally broadcast that they were doing an egg hunt on tv and the whole town turned up. what japes)

 

[DinosaurSenior]

She never had that book. Only saying she gave it away in case someone asks what her favourite cake from it is

 

[Jelly Bean]

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Reposting these because I accidentally posted them on the wrong thread. head x

Whether she made it or tittivated an existing sponge we all know it will taste grim.
And is that sinister decoration a gremlin?

 

[PoorPatrol]

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You should have spoiled that, pal! “I hope you like it!” Jack, mate, I literally bleeping hate it

 

[Ostapbender]

Australian Woman’s Weekly Birthday Cake Book? Completed it mate!


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spent time in Aus as a child actually mate, ran with the kangaroos, ate damper, loved it

 

[Cookiecookie]

Ha ! The little chopped up potatoes that pop up now and again. The ones in the Supermarket. The Greek food shop bought in Edinburgh display . I can’t be doing with someone who can’t make a Yorkshire pudding. Very hot fat with cold mix it can’t go wrong.

Grunkaing, and entirely OT, but since moving back here, I can no longer make Yorkies. I follow the exact same method as always, and am met with sad little disasters

 

[BlendedSlop]

I've got a few pages to grunk but just wanted to say her cake looks tit. Literally - the fondant decorations (which she clearly didn't make) are cute, but everything brown on there resembles compacted turds.

 

[Orphan_Black]

That cake must have cost a week's shopping budget if those are KitKats too!

(Fair play she kept herself occupied all evening actually doing something, regardless of ability, but, has she just ignored the gang she's got round for dinner to do so, or is it all bullshit, Jack, and there's no one there? Off to the folks place for Sunday Service and Roast lunch, and maybe the cake is your offering, perhaps?)

 

[Ninch55]

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Oh squiggle

You know it isn’t, o gullible squig. Lighting a candle for you, right now. It wil stand on my altar between Allegra’s and LJC’s.

 

[Cookiecookie]

wasn’t it a bed sit tho

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The paternal side grandparents, and great grandparents both had B&Bs. It's bloody hard work Jack. My grandad would come in off a night shift and start helping with the breakfasts. Then there's keeping up with all the rooms and making sure everything is spot on. A lot harder nowadays too I'd imagine, people have higher standards than back in the day (grandparents sold up in the mid 80s) Oh, they weren't exploiting homeless people for their labour either, so maybe that's why it was such hard work!

 

[Ninch55]

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My kids made an Easter cake. I don't think they did too bad. All I did was take it out of the oven. I am biased but I still think it's better than hers.

It’s fab, Happy Easter

Australian Woman’s Weekly Birthday Cake Book? Completed it mate!


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No ya didn’t, fibberty-fib

 

[Cookiecookie]

Oh no, it’s bad. Send deliveroo ASAP

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PS sorry for the hugely unprofessional scroll bars, silver and marm would NEVER, but I have an iPhone mini cos smol hands

SBs mate is frantically texting his parents the family safe word so they phone saying there's a crisis and they need to collect them right away (and drive thru Macca's on the way home)

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

How has she ruined chocolate cake? HOW?

Also, all that for her in-laws of what, 3 minutes? It's so embarrassingly try-hard. My MIL (God rest her), even in her last weeks, would have looked me dead in the eye and told me to stop brown-nosing if I'd turned up with anything other than a Mr Kipling Battenburg. Some things are truths universally acknowledged, and a MIL's ability to see through bullshit is one of them.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

 

[Hollaaa]

How has she ruined chocolate cake? HOW?

Also, all that for her in-laws of what, 3 minutes? It's so embarrassingly try-hard. My MIL (God rest her), even in her last weeks, would have looked me dead in the eye and told me to stop brown-nosing if I'd turned up with anything other than a Mr Kipling Battenburg. Some things are truths universally acknowledged, and a MIL's ability to see through bullshit is one of them.

My MIL would have pointed out the fingerprints left on that cake before you had your coat off, refuse to eat any of it and offer to buy you cooking lessons for your next birthday.

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

My MIL would have pointed out the fingerprints left on that cake before you had your coat off, refuse to eat any of it and offer to buy you cooking lessons for your next birthday.

And you'd thank her, because she'd have been right.

I might make one of those hideous tea/lemonade combinations tomorrow, as an Easter chaos.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Why is she now ruining tea. Pet you should be ashamed of yourself, have a word OH?!

When I am not drinking alcohol pet. I drink, tea, coke, fancy apple juice... I don't bleeping ruin decent tea and she says she judged it.

Madness!

 

[Marj24]

I really hope that this thread can return to gently mocking her tit food, rather than watching aghast as she instigates a pile on a pensioner or reels off her many, many excuses for dreadful online behaviour.

Off course this is all down to Jackie.