Jack Monroe #288 Only a psychopath separates a bunch of bananas for a photograph.

[Eurgh]

Online Food Shopping | Grocery Delivery | ASDA Groceries

Shop online at ASDA Groceries. The same great prices as in store, delivered to your door or click and collect from store.

groceries.asda.com

Checks notes….Chocolate orange fudge cake?

This cake is rank btw. I’ve had it.

 

[holliebollie]

I know we laugh at the squigs sometimes but honestly, that post saying they’re sure it’s their fault that they can’t see anything has got me right in the cobblers. Poor sod. And so publicly done too… it’s like a very sad, emotional version of getting the ick.

 

[usefullyuseless]

I have a sweet tooth and will pretty much eat any kind of dessert but that cake gets a big ol' nope from me. I'd be worried some of that chocolate dirt is actually from under Jack's nails

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I’m still trying to imagine her face when her paying B and B guests ask for the breakfast, dinner and packed lunches she promised them!

“I’m BUSY!”
“It’s cooking bacon or nothing at all”
“What do you mean have I rinsed the beans? Of course I have”
“You’re not going to stop until I’m carried away in a coffin made of spoons. I try and help people and all they do is mither on about lunch. Nobody gives me a second thought. Did I tell you I have arthritis?”

I get guest house paradiso vibes. The rotting nuclear fish that makes everyone sick,

" Mrs twit" is all fits.

 

[kachoochoo]

there is absolutely no way she's made that cake

it looks like a professionally made cake to me, the top looks like it's many chocolate cornflake cakes

I really want some tbh

 

[HotesTilaire]

It is a Jack cake, the rabbit has done pellet poo all over and there’s a discarded fag end. Also the flowers are evil.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Reposting these because I accidentally posted them on the wrong thread. head x

 

[Marj24]

View attachment 1199530

has anyone else watched Nailed It on Netflix? I wonder what this was supposed to look like?

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

there is absolutely no way she's made that cake

it looks like a professionally made cake to me, the top looks like it's many chocolate cornflake cakes

I really want some tbh

The perfectly tempered chocolate is a give away.

You're not kidding anyone, Jack.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I hate the words "Chocolate Soil". It makes me think of the "Night Soil Man"*

i.e jobbies

 

[Ninch55]

Happy Easter!!!!

View attachment 1199588

She did not make that cake. I don’t care, Jack, @ me all you like. No way.

 

[MsGilmore]

The ‘nest’ looks like dung! It looks wet!

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Fingerprints on the kit kats. Nice touch.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

My kids made an Easter cake. I don't think they did too bad. All I did was take it out of the oven. I am biased but I still think it's better than hers.

 

[BubbleDuck]

Unpopular opinion but I can believe Jack constructed that cake . Pre made cake , topped with cornflake cake ( which is still melty hence being so shiny ) , crumbed biscuits, mini eggs and pre bought fondant figures. Surrounded with facing in kit kats and a ribbon wrapped round it.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

View attachment 1199607
View attachment 1199608
View attachment 1199610
View attachment 1199611

Reposting these because I accidentally posted them on the wrong thread. head x

Of course she intentionally added in “rabbit poops”, of course she did. Appetising.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

What is that black thing? It has no place upon the cake. Is it a Hallowe'en ghostie? A devil? Some kind of. ..."dildo"?

 

[CrackingOwlSanctuary]

I hate the words "Chocolate Soil". It makes me think of the "Night Soil Man"*

i.e jobbies

Applicable to most things Jack tweets to be fair.

 

[Whaa?]

Would you have outlaws after 4 months?

I would love it if disaffected supporters announced on twitter, or here, that they were cancelling their Patreon subscription of x per month.2/3rds of her supporters came to her as a result of Nigellas shout out. I cannot imagine that they signed up for £1.

 

[Marj24]

The fact that it looks like actual wet soil that when cut would cause a family of woodlice to come skittering out is very off-putting. If you thought the cake was bad, wait until you see that she followed up the palatable cake tweet with one about getting ganache out of her crevices. duck's sake. Imagine Mom or THAT MAN saying here's a lovely cake btw I've got ganache in my crack.

View attachment 1199577

At least (I hope) she is not planning to cook the Easter Bunny for lunch tomorrow (I'm serious, she has form, Google Bunny Bucco)