Jack Monroe #288 Only a psychopath separates a bunch of bananas for a photograph.

[LennyBriscoe]

Australian Woman’s Weekly Birthday Cake Book? Completed it mate!


View attachment 1199640

“Of course I had that book squiggle, I have all the books ” TOOT TOOT!!!!

How could she have time yesterday to make a cake? She was sooooooo busy she didn’t even have time to watch her beloved Liverpool win their way to the FA Cup Final (or even mention it)

She spent a lot of time giving it out but not being able to take it back on Twitter, making many variations of inedible slop then entertaining (LJC that must have been painful for the guests).

Sorry it’s a no from me.

 

[Captainmouse]

Let’s not forget she bought fresh broccoli at Asda too.

Well wherever they came from (magic puddle?) they weren’t on the stocktake either.

the balance of probabilities tells me there is nobody who would set up a direct debit for one pound a month. Jack is a liar. A barefaced liar. I wouldn’t even be surprised if she added this additional layer recently, knowing people are onto it.

But patreon themselves advise against a pound cos of fees

 

[usefullyuseless]

My theory:

The cake and all it's extras prove the slop shop was purely performative and there was a second shop done that day, with a separate receipt. This second shop contains all the food she actually eats, brand name goodies and expensive drinks for example.

I don't think pork belly was on the stocktake either.

Why is she like this?

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I'm still not over the Maya Angelou poem from the last thread. What's going on in her brain if she honestly thinks its message can be applied to a Twitter strop?

And still I rise
like some yeasty bread
stuffed with gammon
and gifted salmon.

And still I rise like a sponge cake
That I didn’t have the time to make
I lie on Twitter for validation
I can’t survive without adulation
The Twitter Squigs make it all too easy
At least I make the Cabal feel queasy

By Lenny Briscoe, aged 41 and 3/4

 

[humpty.]

It was a yellow sticker cake, probably a bit damaged and she’s tried to pass it off as all her own work. No one is fooled.
definitely a 2 receipt shop.

 

[Captainmouse]

My theory:

The cake and all it's extras prove the slop shop was purely performative and there was a second shop done that day, with a separate receipt. This second shop contains all the food she actually eats, brand name goodies and expensive drinks for example.

I don't think pork belly was on the stocktake either.

Why is she like this?

Because she doesn’t want a job, but she wants money, she wants to con people, unfortunately she has proved she can

 

[LeftToMyOwnDevices]

Coming from the past (grunking and it’s Wednesday, Jack’s been irrational and shouty about a Tory lady’s dinner) but here’s a piece about liars that’s in the Sunday Times…

 

[humpty.]

Nigella must be bricking it, the student has become the master

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Coming from the past (grunking and it’s Wednesday, Jack’s been irrational and shouty about a Tory lady’s dinner) but here’s a piece about liars that’s in the Sunday Times…View attachment 1199904

The amygdala rocks, but I am too exhausted to explain why.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Coming from the past (grunking and it’s Wednesday, Jack’s been irrational and shouty about a Tory lady’s dinner) but here’s a piece about liars that’s in the Sunday Times…View attachment 1199904

Fascinating.

Thank you for sharing.

Happy Easter, Ninnies!

x x x x x

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

This is how the goddess does Easter cakes.

 

[ishant]

Happy Easter

here to see my hat

 

[Froggies]

This is a fake bake. I’m sure of it. Angesdesucre (incredible cake maker) has been making them on Instagram - £10 budget, buy a supermarket cake and make it look FANCY.

Jack has failed on two of the three things I’ve mentioned above (She definitely bought the cake though).

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Is it done on purpose; a cake supposedly made by her when she had people round, cheap drinks stored in expensive bottles? Is she trying to be found out?

WFK? Where is the granola?

Speculation but I think subconsciously she probably does want to be caught so she can finally stop everything, she brings it on herself but she must be bleeping exhausted with it all
nonetheless.

The flip side is I also think she gets a massive rush when she “gets away” with obvious contradictions like this, and the stock in her cupboards, and the £20 shop that doesn’t actually feed for the week so when she tells absolute whoppers like this she can’t lose - either she gets caught and it can stop or she gets the rush of having gotten away with her another lie because the squigs haven’t actively confronted her.

 

[I steal names]

It's giving *urine samples*. Front right, see a doctor.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Wouldn't sparkling lemonade or cream soda mixed with tea be quite...flat? Even before pouring it into bottles.
And if made with Smart Price lemonade which just tastes of chemicals and sadness even more disgusting than then idea of lemonade mixed with water anyway.

Why not just make a jug of still lemonade in the fridge. Add mint if desired? Throw in a few herbal tea bags from the wanky many drawer chest that's inexplicably in the kitchen

I would say so, I doubt someone with arthritic hands could seal the lids tight enough to hold in the fizz. It's more rubbish.
A case of coke would cost a third of those Fenton coke/ lemonade bottles. Why didn't she just make fresh lemonade. It it's cheap and refreshing.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

It's giving *urine samples*. Front right, see a doctor.View attachment 1199934

I just lost my mind at this comment! I've always want to put green food dye in a wee sample. I wouldn't, but I want to

 

[Flivver]

Happy Chocolate Sunday or Easter to those who celebrate.

Had to see Molly resplendent in her Easter bonnet.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I would say so, I doubt someone with arthritic hands could seal the kids tight enough to hold in the fizz. It's more rubbish.
A case of coke would cost a third of those Fenton coke/ lemonade bottles. Why didn't she just make fresh lemonade. It it's cheap and refreshing.

The whole thing is just made up bollocks.

Why would you want the smoky taste of steam punk (lapsang essentially) tea with the cloying sweetness of cream soda? You wouldn’t. It would be foul. Both have such individual tastes that to mix them would be disgusting.

It shows again that what she puts out on SM is not what she consumes. She obviously buys Fenitmans (fine) but pours whatever is in the used bottles shown here down the sink.

Is anything real?

 

[Powershower]

has anyone else watched Nailed It on Netflix? I wonder what this was supposed to look like?

This is for the Netflix sequel to “is it cake?” Called “are you sure that’s cake?”