apologies in advance, I am rubbish at editing but the idea of JM sprinting around in Cyprus like Maria in the Sound of Music has been amusing me all day so here we are. new reboot just dropped
Jack Monroe #285 Please handle your white male saviours
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Jack is 
the woooooorrrrrrst ‘Lovelies?’ Didn’t she get told today to delete stuff because some of her lovelies were being racist twats defending her honour?!Also, nothing on this earth would make me give my actual hard earned money to a well known person (can’t say celeb with her as it’s not quite accurate). My shelf has broken-
I’m stuck in a contract in a draughty old house and 99.9% of my income goes on bills-
My garage was broken into-
I have hobbit feet-
I am so TIRED of answering emails at 5 am-
my own take if I may: tweeting to continue until around 2am.
tweets tomorrow will be dryer than a dog biscuit and will include classics such as ‘I’ve had 46 minutes sleep in the past 4 days’;
‘I’m doing this for free’ etc.
These tweets will coincide with the negative/constructive/what the duck type of comments during and immediately following the next meal idea on Lorraine. No mention will be made of the appearance on tv by Jack or the FM’s who will no doubt be mantra-ing to themselves ‘if you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all; got to keep on her good side’. Around late afternoon there will be a dip, thecomedown will start to creep in dopamine high will wear off and the lights will be OFF. I could go on but what’s the bleeping point!?
tweets tomorrow will be dryer than a dog biscuit and will include classics such as ‘I’ve had 46 minutes sleep in the past 4 days’;
‘I’m doing this for free’ etc.
These tweets will coincide with the negative/constructive/what the duck type of comments during and immediately following the next meal idea on Lorraine. No mention will be made of the appearance on tv by Jack or the FM’s who will no doubt be mantra-ing to themselves ‘if you can’t say anything nice then don’t say anything at all; got to keep on her good side’. Around late afternoon there will be a dip, the
Jack dear, I haven't forgotten your trip to Edinburgh, hours after total lockdown ended here. Don't pretend to give a tit about covid.
And also, as the Fleetwood Mac chat has continued, I might add that even Mick Fleetwood and Samantha Fox (she later referred to it as the worst night of her life) presenting the Brits in 1989 isn’t as cringe as Jack Monroe’s pre-recorded 2m segments on Lorraine on Lorraine’s day off.
She's turning into Mario now my lovelies. Am no well! But we move! Time to kick the arse out of this week! Keep you power and let the elephants walk (not my quote)! So aye and so forth. I feel like I need a fortifying bowl of banana skin gruel after this latest ride on the Monroellercoaster, jeepers creepers.
(OT please don't waste your money on a press-up board, any of you dear hearts. It's literally just a colourful board that may even cause you wrist, elbow or shoulder pain from being in those fixed positions as everyone's anatomy is different)
(OT please don't waste your money on a press-up board, any of you dear hearts. It's literally just a colourful board that may even cause you wrist, elbow or shoulder pain from being in those fixed positions as everyone's anatomy is different)
I would love Jack to explain how following her patronisingly means your 'voice will be raised'?
We all know she is utterly selfish and never retweets anything unless it relates directly to her. And how it might benefit her.She has been this ghastly before. A few times. Always ends with snivelling self pity and vague allusions to therapy. Then a Guardian article about I'm Different Now
What a grunk.
We know it wasn't rot, I hope it was a ghost.
We know it wasn't rot, I hope it was a ghost.
Now if Kevin the Tory had any sense and sadly a look at his Twitter does not fill me with optimism on that score, he'd pick Lorraine as his moment to strike. Obvs he'd want to start off with the tax dodging, then remark it's no wonder poor people struggle to feed themselves well if they're taking advice from a terrible cook like Jack. He'd go on to remark what a crushing snob she is and how she sneered at him for drinking cheapo wine and finally reveal what a toff she is. It would be an absolute hoot and her squigs tend to go a bit quiet when she's done a slop on the TV because most of them are only following for the drama and pile ons, so he'd likely be spared another onslaught as she wouldn't want to draw too much attention to it.
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Lovely, another interview!
oh dear.
Most other replies on this thread are people really happy to get a holla back / folla back from Jackus Cripes.
Tweeting is NOT A JOB.
Another .pdf coming soon
loooool she has a tip jar too, grifters of a feather
loooool she has a tip jar too, grifters of a feather
She hardly gets any abuse on Twitter and most of what she calls abuse is just folk pointing out she's a liar, which would stop if she stopped lying. I'm surprised someone with a genius level IQ hadn't worked that out for themselves, I expect it's the old concussion.
jack clearly needs harold back, but I think he may have fallen foul of southend MOD
harold?
HAROLD!!
harold?
HAROLD!!
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I’m sad that Harold has left 
They looked so happy together
They looked so happy together
Vom
Mega vom
Triple vom
U linked out to someone’s coroners report how are you not embarrazzed
Thought you were a fanatic tho?
There's always a point in her highs where it becomes horrifying to watch. Page 31 of the last thread was that for me. I've skipped to here. Jack is in a vortex of madness and needs to lift her eyes from her screen and her self-loathing. I've been there when I was a "drunk". Someone described in the last two threads (quite gently and kindly!) what her behaviour the following day would be like (a bit shaky, quiet). I felt that wholeheartedly
The opposite is that I can't imagine what it feels like to post a year old photo of a really nice holiday then turn that into an entry for the poverty olympics
The opposite is that I can't imagine what it feels like to post a year old photo of a really nice holiday then turn that into an entry for the poverty olympics
I really hope Harold has had the snip.
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