I laugh every time I see mamapapa-what’s for dinner mamapapa, I am ravenous
- goat *coughs* I mean beef stew
- (SB looks into pan) could we maybe have pasta with it mamapapa please, it looks delish?!
- you ungrateful welp I have been preparing this in the slow cooker for four days
- (SB runs to other room and comes back an hour later with a Lego rose) look mamapapa I made you a rose from the Lego you bought yourself
- please take it apart, you know how much I like making Lego and you know it’s mine. Please go back to your rock cleaning
- but you’ve cleaned all the rocks already mamapapa!
- you can clean this goat’s leg bone if you want?
- wow thank you mamapapa, I love it
Jack Monroe #280 Poverty pimp
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Who put 50p in the poverty pimp? I’ve been BUSY for a couple of hours and thanks to this idiot I’m going to have to work a full 25 hour shift to catch up today. And I can see half of it is her wittering about buying tit.
Me too
entirely possible...Yes isn't that amazing
Lots of nice expensive treats bought by 'my OH'.
Does this mystery benefactor even exist? It would be the most massive ridiculous whopper to come up with and yet.....
My kid shouts mummy at me like stewie Griffen as he thinks it’s hilarious. He never called me mummy as a toddler was always mam. I couldn’t imagine training him to call me mamapapa. What a chore. Plus having the poor sod explain to the teachers on Mother’s Day when writing the card. “She’s called mamapapa, Mrs Smith 
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Yes I imagine Jack interpretes his morbid curiosity with her ghastly concoctions as 'enthusiasm'. Sort of unable to tear your eyes away from the horror slowly unfolding in front of you.
Gosh, I had forgotten about the wallpaper planner. It was such a good idea, it was going to get her life organised.Between dinosnores, twatting on twitter, and tumbling rocks, probably pencilled in on the wallpaper planner
It was an expensive outlay for the roll of wallpaper, but it was so beneficial to get a semblance of order in her life. Any amount of money would be worth it to ensure that she could change her chaotic life. It would guarantee that she was able to collate, categorise, prioritise, group and sequence all her hectic life schedules. It was going to change her way of working and make her life run smoothly.
Never been seen since.
Kachatootoot
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Eating bread with your dinner is what used to happen everyday “back in the day” if you were poor/working class. Jack slipping into her common people cloak again
Sorry to keep derailing the convo but I'm so overexcited at being back in these threads and I've got all these Jack-related thoughts and memories all tumbling in so I'm just going to splurge them out as they occur to me, bit like Jack herself on Twitter actually...
1. That poem about men in jail, crumply bus tickets and children with rickets...what the actual f*** was that about and was she honestly serious? Did she....did she think she'd done A Thing there? It was the kind of thing Adrian Mole would've written aged 13 3/4.
2. I knew she facetuned her pics a lot but I was shocked to see her on telly a few months ago. She looks like someone's Greek theia IRL, nothing wrong with that at all, she's a good looking woman, but the sheer disconnect between what she really looks like and what she wants us to think she looks like is just....wOw and so totally at odds with her 'I'm bolshy and authentic, me' persona
3. The Trussell Trust thing...not entirely above board IMO. Something fishy going on there
4. Why did she briefly try on an 'autistic spectrum maths and spreadsheet genius' persona a few weeks back, did she not realise how cliched and reductive it looked, and why would anyone transcribe Rishi Sunak's budget speech in longhard when you could record it on your phone and then do voice to text?
5. Does she still claim to be an ex-firefighter who could lift ten men on her shoulders?
6. Which of her disabilities is to the fore at the moment?
7. Does she still have Cooper the cat and has she fallen to the floor and clawed uselessly at the carpet whilst howling recently?
8. Jack, you're awesome. Please, never, ever, ever stop.
1. That poem about men in jail, crumply bus tickets and children with rickets...what the actual f*** was that about and was she honestly serious? Did she....did she think she'd done A Thing there? It was the kind of thing Adrian Mole would've written aged 13 3/4.
2. I knew she facetuned her pics a lot but I was shocked to see her on telly a few months ago. She looks like someone's Greek theia IRL, nothing wrong with that at all, she's a good looking woman, but the sheer disconnect between what she really looks like and what she wants us to think she looks like is just....wOw and so totally at odds with her 'I'm bolshy and authentic, me' persona
3. The Trussell Trust thing...not entirely above board IMO. Something fishy going on there
4. Why did she briefly try on an 'autistic spectrum maths and spreadsheet genius' persona a few weeks back, did she not realise how cliched and reductive it looked, and why would anyone transcribe Rishi Sunak's budget speech in longhard when you could record it on your phone and then do voice to text?
5. Does she still claim to be an ex-firefighter who could lift ten men on her shoulders?
6. Which of her disabilities is to the fore at the moment?
7. Does she still have Cooper the cat and has she fallen to the floor and clawed uselessly at the carpet whilst howling recently?
8. Jack, you're awesome. Please, never, ever, ever stop.
I think SB likely did peer into the goaty abyss and asked for pasta, fraus.
This was not in addition..
This was not in addition..
We've not had a good howl 'n' claw for ages. I really miss those- they were such a good laugh. Coops has been neglecting his distraction duties a bit lately but as far as we know is still around.
My SB is 8 ( I don’t talk about him or his dad on SM really) but he’s already rolling his eyes at us making him look silly/stupid in front of his friends. God knows how SB feels seeing his mamapapa all over SM with her rock tumblers, Lego flowers, pretending to have a new OH etc and kind of infantilising him. I’m cringing myself inside out on his behalf.Every time Jack tells another story about SB that makes him sound like he’s 5 I’m always torn between anger that Jack is using him to make it sound like they are still a single mum with a wide eyed with innocence toddler , and sadness for SB because it sounds like Jack has no idea ( or interest) in him as who he is now
my kids all love Lego , as do I .Those flower sets would definitely not be my first choice to gift to a 12 yr old . There are way more interesting and age appropriate sets out there
Yep only £40 a roll
Probably a world's first: a haiku about utterly honking goat stew.
Boy peers into pan
Forks a chunk of rancid goat
Declared best ever
Boy peers into pan
Forks a chunk of rancid goat
Declared best ever
Unlike poor mini
Didn't Jack claim her parents went hungry growing up, as there wasn't enough to go round. Yet today, it's lashings of bread and butter round mum's table.
Pick a story, Jack
Pick a story, Jack
But this one is likely imaginary/a debit card/a fist full of notes
Urgh, she is hinting about supported living ...independent living that people with disabilities have carers and support workers coming in to. As soon as I saw the wording, I thought, surely not! But then that's Jacksie all over innit...
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