Hi everyone, I'm new. Ive read as much as I can today and you lot sound like my people. I googled her as my husband and I cant understand why the hell she any sort of platform. We thought nepotism, but its fake poverty. The greed is so awful. I am only half way through your posts but I feel like asking SMEG for a Freedom of Information Request on the, 'big American fridge'.
Jack Monroe #27 Jack's career move after cooking with cans? Who’d have thought it would be OnlyFans?
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Bung em in a bowl and hope for the best. Better yet, write a cookbook.
I assume it is this:
Though when I googled 'Jack Monroe award nominations' the first link was this, which made me laugh more than was at all seemly.
www.thegrouchoclub.com
Latest Awards
2024 Awards at The Guild of Food Writers - the professional association of food writers and broadcasters in the UK
www.gfw.co.uk
Though when I googled 'Jack Monroe award nominations' the first link was this, which made me laugh more than was at all seemly.
Awards Nomination - The Groucho Club
www.thegrouchoclub.com
Hopefully that went well enough for her that she won’t need to fight anyone on twitter or fish for validation tonight. See you later, alligators.
Noooooo Fraus! I got distracted and forgot about the live and now I'm a Grunkaling! 
Ah, now here is my area of expertise... Budget Clem (despite her name) is the much grander of the Clems. Old money fam, smart set. Surprising, given how grubby she can be, but that accent never goes (I have the same accent sadly)
I watched until the children comment, then went to cook my tea from the Green Roasting Tin. Better use of my time.
I got bored so I wrote a song that covers the last 3 months of Jack's life.
To the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire"
Single mum, not a cook, newfound fame, writes a book
Alcoholic, vegan, trans, immunocompromised
THAT MAN on Channel 4, angry tweets, she's still poor,
Lockdown Larder, spinach cans, Daily Kitchen Live
Coughs a bit, stays at home, tech problems on her phone
Grated corned beef, horse spunk sauce, superhero pose
Cans of veg, cans of roots, passive-aggressive citrus fruits
Rinsed beans, dry cake, now in the studio!
She didn't put out fires
She just answered phones
Although you'd never know
Some would call her a liar
But they're all just bitter
And her lawyer's with her
Fat in mince, bread knife, borrows Matt from his wife
Cheeky duo, rising star, laughing up a lung
Suing Tattle, printing pages, hasn't felt this good in ages
Nigella-lite, wants renewal, phone stays unrung
Big announcement coming soon, superfan is on the moon
Garden camping, buying paint, renovates the shed
Apologies to THAT MAN, camping stove, lots of cans
Youtube show? No but look, now she's shaved her head!
She didn't put out fires
She falls under trains
The Tories are to blame
Her food always looks dire
Salmon paste and rinsed beans
On a bed of tinned greens
On the train, pervy men, same old tit once again
Bloke says "hi", Jack gets mad, kicks him in the shin
New book, depressipes, This Morning, veg and cheese
Uncooked pasta, no chicken, straight into the bin
Posting books, all by hand, anything for her fans
None arrive, what's gone wrong? Blame the Royal Mail
Makeover for Instagram, lifts 93 kilograms
Fridge breaks, begs a Smeg, going off the rails
She didn't put out fires
She's a maverick leader
With a million readers
She's available for hire
Four jobs and patrons online
She's still on the breadline
Hellman's mayo, grey hair, Miguel Barclay sure looks scared
Potato salad, tofu sandwich, comments all turned off
Stays up late, many tweets, tucks her labia, then deletes
Now she has severe hayfever - wasn't it a cough?
Video in black and white, #JackLivesMatter so let's fight
White as mayo, small advance, where is Mrs J?
Racist drama, shielding mother, now here comes her black brother!
Lockdown haircut, Twitter break, lasts less than a day
She didn't put out fires
She supports black dreams
But just behind the scenes
Why do her fans admire
Her suspicious fiction
And Twitter addiction?
Lost weight, overshare, photoshops her body hair
Sexy photos in weird clothes, Stuart's going mad
Mrs J has run away, time for a new fiancée
Sports bra, skin-tight skirt, but she just looks sad
Grenfell Tower memories, nuggets of mince, fat and cheese
536 days off the booze
Marcus Rashford, Twitter fights, thirst trap photos, sleepless nights
Bathing in her own ephemera, hardly any views
She didn't put out fires
Small Boy's dad is helping
But she won't stop yelping
Maybe she should retire
She'll use her Hellman's riches
To sue Tattle witches
As the lawyers conspire
To pay legal fees, er,
She could sell a freezer?
While we sort court attire
She's triangulating
So let's all stop hating...
To the tune of "We Didn't Start the Fire"
Single mum, not a cook, newfound fame, writes a book
Alcoholic, vegan, trans, immunocompromised
THAT MAN on Channel 4, angry tweets, she's still poor,
Lockdown Larder, spinach cans, Daily Kitchen Live
Coughs a bit, stays at home, tech problems on her phone
Grated corned beef, horse spunk sauce, superhero pose
Cans of veg, cans of roots, passive-aggressive citrus fruits
Rinsed beans, dry cake, now in the studio!
She didn't put out fires
She just answered phones
Although you'd never know
Some would call her a liar
But they're all just bitter
And her lawyer's with her
Fat in mince, bread knife, borrows Matt from his wife
Cheeky duo, rising star, laughing up a lung
Suing Tattle, printing pages, hasn't felt this good in ages
Nigella-lite, wants renewal, phone stays unrung
Big announcement coming soon, superfan is on the moon
Garden camping, buying paint, renovates the shed
Apologies to THAT MAN, camping stove, lots of cans
Youtube show? No but look, now she's shaved her head!
She didn't put out fires
She falls under trains
The Tories are to blame
Her food always looks dire
Salmon paste and rinsed beans
On a bed of tinned greens
On the train, pervy men, same old tit once again
Bloke says "hi", Jack gets mad, kicks him in the shin
New book, depressipes, This Morning, veg and cheese
Uncooked pasta, no chicken, straight into the bin
Posting books, all by hand, anything for her fans
None arrive, what's gone wrong? Blame the Royal Mail
Makeover for Instagram, lifts 93 kilograms
Fridge breaks, begs a Smeg, going off the rails
She didn't put out fires
She's a maverick leader
With a million readers
She's available for hire
Four jobs and patrons online
She's still on the breadline
Hellman's mayo, grey hair, Miguel Barclay sure looks scared
Potato salad, tofu sandwich, comments all turned off
Stays up late, many tweets, tucks her labia, then deletes
Now she has severe hayfever - wasn't it a cough?
Video in black and white, #JackLivesMatter so let's fight
White as mayo, small advance, where is Mrs J?
Racist drama, shielding mother, now here comes her black brother!
Lockdown haircut, Twitter break, lasts less than a day
She didn't put out fires
She supports black dreams
But just behind the scenes
Why do her fans admire
Her suspicious fiction
And Twitter addiction?
Lost weight, overshare, photoshops her body hair
Sexy photos in weird clothes, Stuart's going mad
Mrs J has run away, time for a new fiancée
Sports bra, skin-tight skirt, but she just looks sad
Grenfell Tower memories, nuggets of mince, fat and cheese
536 days off the booze
Marcus Rashford, Twitter fights, thirst trap photos, sleepless nights
Bathing in her own ephemera, hardly any views
She didn't put out fires
Small Boy's dad is helping
But she won't stop yelping
Maybe she should retire
She'll use her Hellman's riches
To sue Tattle witches
As the lawyers conspire
To pay legal fees, er,
She could sell a freezer?
While we sort court attire
She's triangulating
So let's all stop hating...
Jilly Cooper said that posh upper middle class people can afford to look grubby because they don't care what people think. I think she was comparing Shirley Williams with Margaret Thatcher; Shirley, she said, had the slightly grubby, dragged through a hedge backwards look that you can't get unless you've been to A Really Good School whereas Thatcher was a lower middle class girl who was brought up to believe that cleanliness and tidiness was all important.
Which was Budget Clemmy? The one at the end? I couldn't really make out her voice thanks to Jack talking over her.
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Well, she was better this week, but bleeping hell it was boring. I did stick it out until the end though.
Ten pages to catch up on now.
Ten pages to catch up on now.
The Roasting Tin books are bleeping incredible, and effortlessly knock JM's under-developed "recipes" into a cocked hat any day of the week.
Yeah you’re spot on - budget Clem is clearly from old money / probs educated at a proper public school / posh grot whereas premium Clem (disgraced) middle class. The SODs thread is good, they’re ghastly freebie grabbers it’s disgusting.
Yes, but Adam Frost (and Ash the Cat) have pedigree - trained with the best, long established career without bewailing the death of his boss and competency - and he gives an air of calm joy in the garden; he makes you feel secure.
He's probably my favourite gardening bod since Geoff Hamilton.
A bit like Allegra, no?
Oh definitely, premium clemmie was too posh to sleep outside for charity so cancelled last minute after picking up her fee for speaking about what a great cause Centrepoint is
Soooooo glad I didn’t watch it again this week. I’m in awe of anyone who made it through to the end, the second hand embarrassment is real!
Is Clemmie 1 still around. I thought she got called out for being a racist and a troll?
The only decent thing to do With leftover celery is to strip the stringy bits off and get a bowl of onion and garlic dip
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