She’s just one person not an army and has had a lot on her plate R
Jack Monroe #261 Serial loser
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I’ve just finished binging “Inventing Anna” and a similarity I noticed between Anna and our smol pixie was that when Anna was challenged she became angry and aggressive and this seemed to be a winning strategy for her. Shout at people abominably who ask questions and then keep grifting.
It really is incredible isn't it. Ukraine is on fire and Jack is merrily tweeting away about her Ensloppopaedia Shittanica.
By their trousers on their heads you shall know them
I take it all back, Jack should have definitely have a show - but based on her life, rather than being in it. Working title “The Mishaps of Monroe” with Miranda Hart as Jack, falling arse over tit under trains and getting up to mad antics like not plugging in phones to computers, whatever the duck that means. I’m going to start work on the script, I might be a bit quiet over the next three days ninnies
It doesn’t affect her dearheart. She only tweets stuff that directly affects her. The world can and does burn around her and as long as smol pixie can carry on buying stuff using patreon £££ she will tweet as though absolutely nothing is going on.
She spent 3 days and nights editing a book which was due to be submitted a full year ago? Then conveniently ~forgot~ to bring it with her? Aye right ye are. I really don't understand the brass neck of her, I suppose she's just going to fill the lunch convo with a list of her pretend ailments and excuses as to why it still hasn't materialised. I would curl up in a corner and die of shame personally but that's just me.
I’m sorry, she’s claiming she doesn’t have home Wi-Fi? In-bleeping-believable, literally.
I was thinking maybe more like this?
I can't believe she actually sounds giddy whilst realising she forgot to do something Important. If I was her publisher I wouldn't show up and tell her to go home and email me the manuscript. If she's wasting her publishers time then she should waste hers.
So, what unlikely disaster will prevent her sending the "finished" manuscript when she gets home?
Computer died while she was out and her ADHD puppybrain forgot to make a backup
crappy bungalow has collapsed into a sinkhole due to the combined weight of her sideboards
The #VelcroButtplugIndex has been hijacked by a rogue AI and has deleted everything apart from itself
She never actually makes it home because her train goes through a wormhole that deposits her in the North Pole
Charlie Bigham broke in while she was out and has changed the contents of the Word doc to an ejaculating penis comprised solely of apostrophes
She accidentally left a simmering pan of beans on the hob and the juice has somehow leaked out and short-circuited her computer battery
Her long-suffering landlady finally got sick of the bouncing rent and has changed the locks
Computer died while she was out and her ADHD puppybrain forgot to make a backup crappy bungalow has collapsed into a sinkhole due to the combined weight of her sideboards The #VelcroButtplugIndex has been hijacked by a rogue AI and has deleted everything apart from itself She never actually makes it home because her train goes through a wormhole that deposits her in the North Pole Charlie Bigham broke in while she was out and has changed the contents of the Word doc to an ejaculating penis comprised solely of apostrophes She accidentally left a simmering pan of beans on the hob and the juice has somehow leaked out and short-circuited her computer battery Her long-suffering landlady finally got sick of the bouncing rent and has changed the locksIt’s absolute bollocks as every man and his dog knows. Does she think that by showing a fake book cover she made in one minute on Twitter her publisher will believe this latest load of old guff?
Yes, because what teenagers/new parents really need to know is that tumble drier fluff has myriad uses & how to set fire to a bed using baking trays. At least the new ‘down vote’ button on Twitter gives slight satisfaction, albeit it doesn’t get seen by anyone else.
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Puppy brain made her forget to pay the bill, and she got cut off a while back, so she claimed. No telly either - just jigsaws and knitting.
(3G must be costing her
How was she going to give it to her publisher on her bleeping phone? Just hand over the phone?? And how would you forget to do it? LYING LIAR
Cooper ate my manuscript would have been more believable tbh.
It must be a real struggle not having home WiFi when you're on Zoom calls about an issue you made up/when you're watching Squid Game/when you're flitting between your phone(s) and laptop you lost the other week.
And like .... wouldn't you just email it to the agent before the meeting anyway? Nothing makes sense in Jackworld.
How did she do those media interviews from the Loodio without wifi. Issa mystery.
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