Jack Monroe #260 Stop trying to make macro philanthropy happen, it’s not going to happen

[Emmapism]

That looks more appetising than anything Jack has ever cooked in the history of ever

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

'The boy did good'....this just reminds me of the trend of valentines/christmas posts by early 20s girls showing off Michael Kors watches on FB circa 2017. Once again Jack - several years behind a trend (albeit attempting the trend with cheese instead of rose gold).

 

[colouredlines]

Shit...MrAsda has heard about Jack switching between Smart(space)Price, #af links and terrible knickers and he is NOT happy
View attachment 1079108

Poor Mr Asda, he's had a busy week with all the frantic relabeling, rice breaking, and fishing lumps of fruit out of the jam to make it suitable for the Smart Price range...and what does Jack do in return? Send the squiggles to Tesco to buy mesh bags.

 

[LavaFlake]

Jack: Too poor to buy knickers that don't disintegrate after two washes

Also Jack: Owns burberry scarfs, Mulberry bags, Vivienne Westeood dresses, multiple Doc Martins, buys a new wardrobe from Joules when in Edinburgh for two days...

 

[colouredlines]

The tinned potato obsession is amazing because it highlights how stupid the Jackolytes are.

- Jack repeatedly claims tinned potatoes are cheaper than raw potatoes.
- Squiggles say, "wow, that's surprising! I wonder how that can be possible?"
- Jack says they're too small to be sold raw
- Squiggles accept this as gospel
- Not one squiggle actually checks the prices, which reveal that not only are tinned potatoes more than twice as expensive as raw, they're more expensive than Asda Extra Special raw potatoes too

The moral of the story? You are holding the most amazing fact checker in the world in your hands. Use it, FFS!

 

[Five hundred dogs]

I don’t understand what’s going on in this photo. You’ve got washing up liquid, hand soap and a mystery substance in a bottle by the sink, so what’s the green stuff in the wall dispenser? It looks like more washing up liquid, but why? Then there’s a baffling sequence of things on hooks. A funnel, I know funnels have their uses but are they so regularly used you’d need one hanging over your sink? A ladle, which would make sense if it was next to other such kitchen implements but it’s next to a grubby looking washing up brush, then there’s a solo mug, why only one? Generally people store their mugs together, and finally a frying pan, which is the sort of thing people put on kitchen hooks, but not next to mugs. It’s like one of those “guess what’s next in the sequence” puzzles, but in this case the answer is “fuck knows”.

 

[jenny2603]

View attachment 1075807

I do not understand this exchange.

Jack never runs out of spooooons. She owns about 3 million.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Terrible]

Why would you have a drawer full of cancelled cards? Cut them up and bin them. And who has a ‘spare’ bank card? Is that even possible?

 

[jenny2603]

Beaked beans makes me laugh every time, apologies to that squig who is likely a victim of

Is someone giving you a pack of crisps on a plate with a half-arsed toastie really so remarkable that you have to tweet about it? I suppose if you never eat solids it would be considered a real treat and tbh if I was given crisps I probably would be considering marriage.

Poor SB would have been so confused seeing Mama eat something solid "I can blend that for you Mama before I go out on my evening bimble".

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[its.the.truth.suck.it.up]

WOW. Thank you all so much for your replies and the further reading! I suspected it for a while but wondered why there'd been no tabloid expose of her swanning around in a Range Rover dressed in Gucci. The whole thing makes no sense - she's always working but has no money. Just goes to show that most of the masses take everything at face value and don't question anything. Thanks for confirming my suspicions. I need time to digest this! It's Fox News tactics!

 

[EllaEm87]

This is such a good point, and it’s made me realise Jack’s lanyard thing isn’t just a way to have another affiliate link. It’s a “prop”, which people with Munchausen’s are known to love.

Bet she claimed a sunflower lanyard when they became all the range during the pandemic.
(This makes me rage because I used to use one at airports pre pandemic for my Crohn’s… genuine toilet emergencies and all that, and now they seem to be a badge of honour for people who claim they can’t wear masks.)

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Pretty sure she has the Samsung washing machine a generation older than mine - which means she probably paid well over a grand for it as the ones with the add on door were mega money when they first came out, they had only just come down to under a grand when we bought ours (4 years ago).

They’re really good machines and not remotely “chewy”, stop poor fishing you’re not using those Victorian wash boards on the cobbled Yorkshire streets ffs

(+1 for why does my brain remember this shit when I missed a cross country train at Christmas cos I got 9:50 confused with 10:50 lol)

 

[Vanelope]

#jackshacks #7510eleventy12
Wear you bank card and front door key on a lanyard, tell your 350k or whatevs Twatter people that you do making sure they know the supermarket yellow sticker grab you do and your favoured day and time.
Leave me alone.
Goodnight x
#maverickcunt

GIPHY never lets me down

 

[bladiesla]

I recently found out my uncle who volunteers at a food bank (and who has plenty of cash) sometimes take washing powder for himself. He mentioned it to my dad and I was disgusted when I found out.

This uncle has always been a tightarse (any story about holidays focussed manily on how cheap the food and drink were), but to take products from the food bank stock is just so disgusting (I never see him as I'm living in a different country and we're not really in touch). It keeps amazing me how awful people can be.

 

[SquattyPotty]

View attachment 1078794

1) Bit pointless hiding your key inside your house? If someone has already broken in they don't need a key.
2) If they're already in your house they don't need your bank card either as you've stock checked on Twitter your possessions and their location, and declared you have money in your account.
3) Loser.

Thread title: Jack Monroe, serial loser

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[jordishaw]

When she was being snippy to ChrisMate (economics editor of the Financial Times) it was socks and newspaper, and because he hadn't done that he had no right to discuss inflation.

Oh yeah, found it. SIT DOWN!

View attachment 1075717

Such classic Jackness, period poverty is a real problem, there are some fantastic initiatives that could be spotlit, but no, let's go for the misery memoir instead.

 

[Falkor]

Hang on - wasn't Jack at one point fairly recently claiming that the Smart Price rice wasn't the same quality as the higher-priced stuff? Short broken grains and all that. So how is that now all they have to do is relabel the expensive stuff?

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!