Jack Monroe #260 Stop trying to make macro philanthropy happen, it’s not going to happen

[Vanelope]

The two f** ladies did. Ina has people on quite regularly on her “cooking with friends” episodes. John and Lisa had a show.

Not sure if those examples constitutes a thing.

I would cook with Ina. I would live with Ina.

Me Ina and Jeffrey could totally be a thing. Her cosmo lockdown video still makes me laugh.

 

[Wooh]

Back to doing what she does best - hardcore SLOP!
Why are the eggs both such misshapen blobs? One is overcooked and one isn’t, she can’t even fry decent eggs. And why are the mushrooms such grim, bone dry, tasteless additions? We’ll have Squiggles along in a minute telling her they wish she was at theirs for breakfast, what a genius she is, or how they’ll be trying to make this complex dish themselves. Ottolenghi eat your heart out

I think they're steamed, when you fry first then place the lid over to cook the yolk, not having to turn over. They never look as good, but are good eggs (unlike Jack)

 

[L3moning]

Beeeeans. Spoooons. Heeeeeerrbs.

That article about Jilly/Jack/Jamie was quite interesting although a little short and underexplained - if Jack was half as good as she thought and teamed up with Jamie they could do a lot of good.

I'm making That Man's 7 veg pasta sauce for dinner and plenty for the freezer.

I'm making something inspired by Jack's "sausage black bean and red wine" idea (it's in the slow cooker now). Although I'm using better sausages than the Basic Bollock Bits range. And I'll be eating it with mash rather than rice. And I wont share pictures of it if it looks like slop (which, given what it is, it may well do). Not going to try and fully cost it because frankly I can't be arsed, but it's not that cheap (very roughly £1.30 per portion).

 

[Pavlova]

She's liked this - a "grassroots homeless group" suggesting that their followers paypal her.

View attachment 1073679

Ffs, seriously!?

 

[Pavlova]

Just because I can’t resist a good Instagram scroll and just for you , found this gem nestled between all the salad bag pesto shots (nothing about JO that I can see) and marmite scones. Those were the days my friends.
View attachment 1073450
View attachment 1073451

FML, that's a very strange idea of what 'luxe' is

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

She wouldn’t make it to first break

Break duty Jack. Loving it.

I think the only thing that could top that would be bus duty Jack when she would be too terrified of the buses to go out and do it.

 

[Thank(space)you]

FML, that's a very strange idea of what 'luxe' is

We all know Jack has form for using words she doesn't understand

 

[Onestorytoomany]

She's so fond of her fake sleeping poses. It's really weird, like when you're mucking about as a kid, and your mum comes in to tell you off, so you pretend to be asleep. Can't speak for anyone else with boobs, but I've never slept with mine pushed up to heaven like that either!

Why is she dressed up for a night out to sling slop in a studio. I mean I am all for making an effort, but why ruin good clothes making it smell of food.

Simple black trousers or skirt and a nice top perfectly acceptable.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Cheese on toast and some cwisps? Don't think it's Cathy and Heathcliff.

Or Ross and Rachel.

 

[FrumpyCat]

Now you’re just writing her home tips book for her

Hang on - wasn't Jack at one point fairly recently claiming that the Smart Price rice wasn't the same quality as the higher-priced stuff? Short broken grains and all that. So how is that now all they have to do is relabel the expensive stuff?

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!

Then and now, dearheart. Then and now

 

[JeanBurns76]

Ah, I'm sure it was yet another gift, this time from a French fan thrilled with Jacques Monroe's new takes on cassoulet and ratatouille.

I thought “le chat” that’s a bit more along the lines of the TK Maxx toiletry aisle than the smart price one!

 

[JeanBurns76]

To be fair she's forever publicly announcing she has no money, can't afford rent, heating etc and always having some form of illness where she can't do anything. Then in the next breath buying herself spoons and DMs or pissing around in the kitchen and announcing she's hosting and visiting friends. If I was an 11 year old boy with options, it wouldn't be with that. If I was the other parent of said 11 year old, I'd want him out.

We get it Jack, you have a FRIEND and are possibly getting your leg over. Nobody cares.

Hope your telegraphed absence from the shitty bungalow doesn't result in all your very existing work on the Vigorous Bootycall Index being stolen by your regular burglars.

Hope she did a once over with a bum gun

I swear, Lidl's fake After Eights are the dog's nuts!

Try Strawberry & Mint After Eights! Oooh they’re so nice! Poundland flog em!

 

[Nahhh]

Didn't that turn out to be oysters. Same as Allegra.

I know Jack has to carry an epi pen on public transport to deal with unexpected oyster encounters.

I can't be sure.. as the Google link to the blog post still exists but the post has mysteriously vanished.. oh Jack you are an enigma

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

@TurnedUpInTipp?

I know! It's not me though!

 

[Raker]

Just because I can’t resist a good Instagram scroll and just for you , found this gem nestled between all the salad bag pesto shots (nothing about JO that I can see) and marmite scones. Those were the days my friends.
View attachment 1073450
View attachment 1073451

I really can’t bear these two hand /bowl photos now, knowing that she’s taken them with her tongue

 

[Orphan_Black]

She…she actually declared an affiliate link?? She really DOES read my posts!!!

More pennies for the rattle tin. She's utterly shameless!

 

[Powershower]

I have been known to put a baking potato in the microwave.

Sorry culinary fraus.

Only to start it off surely?

Don’t answer that

 

[StringyMango]

@panda-eyes
I hate "life hack" too .

 

[Django]

I thought bae caught me slippin Jack looked familiar.

View attachment 1073902

Avert you eyes, dear heart. This was nothing on topless Jack.

Redirect Notice