Jack Monroe #26 Jack be bitter, Jack be quick, Jack stop being such a dick.

[Alansbigplate]

 

[Brian Butterfield]

"I've hit my stride as a presenter"

Ok.

She is v v humble. I don't know if you've noticed?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

The thing that annoys me most with those photos is the fact that the drawers aren't closed completely flush with the unit.

 

[MooBelle]

Good evening Cabal.
I've finally been allowed out of my shielding and went to....B AND Q!!!! I know, you're all jealous This really is a new world for me. Nearly 14 weeks in my house and I actually put shoes on today!!! The weird queuing and seeing people at a distance will grow on me I suppose....
Anyhoo, because of my exciting outing (I was as excited as i was when i went to Disneyland) I've had an afternoon of catching up on here and 2 things stick out for me ..
First, I really need to see Midsommar. I was in 2 minds but you've all convinced me. Is it on Netflix?

Secondly..Celebrity get me out of here.. JM wouldn't last a week. Apologies for the name drop, but I know Michael Beurk. Only through work, he does a lot of corporate videos and appearances. I have to arrange/set up events for my employer so deal with 'famous' people and their agents (i admit I'm stretching the word famous....)
Mr Beurk is actually really lovely. Very professional but very approachable. My boss once very embarrassingly asked about 'I'm a celebrity'
He didn't hold back...let rip about Edwina Currie 'complete cunt' the food 'i prayed for dysentry' the thing he said the most awful was how boring it all was. He nearly walked out several times because of the boredom. He said that his fee went mostly to the taxman and the rest on new windows for his house.
Can you imagine JM in the jungle? She'd whinge and bitch and fuck up the food. If the boredom is that bad, can you imagine being stuck with someone like her. Ugh.
Also, whatever pennies she got (i doubt she'd get a very high fee) would (as above mentioned) mostly go to the taxman. Bet she'd still have a tip jar...

 

[PoorPatrol]

I can’t believe she called MT a boy. How ridiculously patronising. He’s 46 years old and not her partner or best friend. Also, all of this loving and adoring him - didn’t she work with him, socially distanced, for like a week? I mean, I love and adore his rolled up sleeves, but I wouldn’t bang on about it publicly like that. I only don’t mind doing it here because NOBODY reads (lurks) here, obvs

 

[Brian Butterfield]

[/QUOTE]

Morning all . Came across this little gem of an article that you might like to peruse for your Sunday morning reading. The article is from Feb 2019. Quite a few LOL moments contained for you to splutter your coffee on. My personal favourite alla Twitter Thank goodness JM keeps us all under control...... via the block button

“Recently she’s cut her online media time, aiming for 15 minutes a day.
“To have that many people demanding your attention – if I wanted that kind of bloody nonsense, I’d have been a primary school teacher at a pupil referral unit! It’s like being playground monitor, all these unruly people expecting me to keep them under control. I’ve walked out the gate now, you can all do it yourselves!”

Jack Monroe, Bootstrap Cook interview - spilling the beans on tins, Twitter and talking about gender

The campaigning cook is on a mission to help everyone on a budget find the fun in feeding themselves

www.scotsman.com

Whoo, so much to unpick from that article.

“It was a big, busy house, lots of traumatised children and a revolving door and I learned to be empathetic and simultaneously detached.”

Then a couple of paragraphs later...

"I’m autistic, that means I’m a bit odd – not all autistic people are odd – but I’m a bit socially awkward, not very good at feelings. But I’m a fantastic cook, so come over and let me cook for you but don’t try and talk to me too much about how your day is going.’”

So you're really empathetic but not very good at feelings? Right, ok then.

I shouldn't let someone I don't know annoy me so much but she really rubs me up the wrong way with her relentless bullshit and total lack of self-awareness.

Also, I don't know ANYONE that buys tinned potatoes or carrots. Surely these items are cheaper to buy fresh and in bulk rather than tinned?!

 

[MrsOgre]

I tell hubby about Jack and the posts here, I keep asking him to join too but he says he can post vicariously through me. I told him about the latest posts, how she wants a relationship with someone who can't cook, and he said she is in a relationship...with herself.

 

[Britney Spiers Morgan]

It’s waaaaaaaay too early but here’s a suggestion for the next thread title:

Jack Monroe #27 Every episode of Jack’s Mayo Monstrosities is absolute Hell(Mann)

 

[Flumps]

What she calls creativity just sounds like mania.

200 units a week is the equivalent of 14 cans of lager a day or about 2.5 litres of wine.

It's just more exaggeration isn't it? I used to be married to what's charmingly called a 'functional alcoholic', and I am not sure he got close to those levels most days. Possibly at the weekends, but I can't bring myself to delve into my memories to fully work it out. I guess you could get closer to the 200 limit without so much liquid intake with the spirits, there are 26 units in a bottle of Smirnoff, so you'd have to be drinking over a bottle a day to get to 200.

I have also had issues with alcohol (I have issues with *anything* that's even vaguely addictive), and I can drink *a lot* for a woman and still remain functional, and relatively pleasant (part of the problem with me drinking is that I make an exceptionally nice drunk, not a messy one, even my teetotal partner has commented on that in the past), but I couldn't have done a bottle of vodka a day and remained in any way functioning and I don't see any evidence that JM was at those levels 18 or so months ago. I've given up drinking during lockdown, I didn't mark the day, but I figure it must be about 60 days ago, and at the level of a bottle or so of wine a day (more at weekends) it still took a while before I saw any effect from it (I'll take the current effortless weightloss though tbf). I didn't suddenly bounce into an effective and productive routine, if anything, I mooched about more, not really knowing what to do with myself and felt hugely depressed for a while. The heightened activity feels manic to me.

Oh, I don't know, that's a lot of words to say it just smells of exaggerated bollocks to me.

 

[Tabitha D]

The desperation is excruciating. As to what is triggering that desperation, who knows. But I do think her “cooking” career is dead in the water at this point. The tin can thing was all well and good (albeit not original) when she did it 10 years ago but things in the food world have moved on a lot since then and her stuff is now a bit old hat. She has not moved on at all. People these days are much more clued up about fresh, healthy food. She’s made an absolute horlicks of her latest TV gigs, and yet there are so many brilliant food bloggers out there who are turning out fantastic content and beautiful appetising-looking food with minimal fuss and effort. She’s had so many opportunities (why??? it’s baffling - although I expect her Groucho contacts may have come in handy) when many much more talented cooks have missed out.
God know what Hellmann’s make of it. They’ve given her (allegedly) 5 figures, but obviously have had to send a team into prop her up (this will have been at an additional cost to them), and yet she’s pulling in under 200 viewers. I can’t imagine they’re as amused by the “I did a chaos!” thing as she appears to be.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Looking for constant validation from strangers on the internet is the eternal road to nowhere.

 

[MrsOgre]

 

[Harrybosch]

Morning fraus. Had an awful sleep, full of anxiety dreams, the usual stuff, spiders, faceless demons chasing me ugh. But a sinister Jack also made an appearance, coming for me on Instagram! My head is a noisy, overactive mess when my anxiety is bad, but I've realised this morning there's something I do find unsettling about her... Probably her vitriol and threatening talk TBF.
Anyway I think she's a bigger nob now for daring to infiltrate my dreams

I feel for you. I had crazy dreams, a particularly lengthy one involving an ex-boyfriend. He was great in bed, so by all rights it should have been a sex dream, but no, it was me begging him to get back together with me, while he kept saying no, he was happier without me.

Why does my subconscious want to crush me when I'm asleep? It's not even what happened in reality, plus I've now been happily married for more than a decade. I guess it's not just Jack who has a maverick mind.

Oh God, I forgot about the jar lid rubbing

#neverforget

 

[MancBee]

I don't have tattoos myself, but don't mind them, hers are just really ugly.

Her tattoos are a perfect representation of her cooking.

Tattoos.......Lots of individual tattoos that may be fine on their own, but bunged on her arms haphazardly. No thought in how they go together, what they will look like as a whole, or what the end product will be. There is no aesthetic or reasoning about the placing of the individual components of the finished sleave.

Food........Lots of individual ingredients that may be fine on their own, but bunged in a pan haphazardly. No thought in how they go together, what they will look (or taste) like as a whole, or what the end product will be. There is no aesthetic or reasoning about the placing of the individual components of the finished meal.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Placing my bet that she never actually reveals what’s ‘simmering’ because there’s no way they’re promo shots for anything except her low self esteem

 

[Badlyplatedflapjacks]

@Begborrowsteal we are a mere bunch of hausfrau trolls but we are a safe space for you here. I'm so sorry. Look after yourself however you need to. I would go for wine, cake and scream-crying Carrie Underwood but whatever makes you feel better. We're here for you.

 

[emm]

Don’t want to detract from the For @Begborrowsteal but do you Fellow gutter hacks think the lack of focus on JM is going to lead to another twitter meltdown?

 

[LennyBriscoe]

This isn’t right. I feel like I’m looking at something I’ve no business looking at

 

[chocolate choux]

I don’t understand why she would go to the bother of tidying up her background and probably taking 100 shots with self timer but dress like that while looking sad

Like I’m in support of women taking ownership of their sexuality and I don’t necessarily think it’s particularly vain in and of itself to have a little photoshoot

But that top is all stretched out, the skirt unflattering, they don’t work well together. Most importantly, she looks unclean and unhappy, which would ruin even the sexiest photos

 

[Raker]

I’m never keen on armchair diagnoses either, @FitiverMin ...

... other than @Hunty ’s of course

Everytime I see her I just think, fucking cunt, everytime