Jack Monroe #253 What a tiny little life, Jack

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Soapy Dolphin

I'm getting nostalgic for JacksHacks - we never knew we had it so good!
Will I ever find out what to do with my belly button fluff? Waaaah!

Oh come on new squigs! You signed up to her Patreon, saw the blue tickers sign up and all patted yourselves on the back about signing up. Lots of cash every month and a double bubble payment in a matter of days. Why with the stupid stoves and the mash and the sadfishing lights off stories? Try a bit of critical thinking - you might like it. :)
 
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1

10to2

Pavlova said:
Just checked out the watch eBay review. Bought on Monday, what a coincidence ay, ya peeky mink. Was that purchased before or after the Nigella endorsement ... edit to add: there's an 8 at the end of the buyers name. Wouldn't happen to be 1978 would it?
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I mean…. What are the odds?! And if it is a lie/fabrication/fantasy about something so unnecessary and apropos of nothing, then where you do even start with trusting anything that’s said.
 
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kachoochoo

kachoochoo

you know what else is just absolutely dreadful about that year 9 effort of a poem?

each verse starts off with the metre of a limerick. it just sounds so bleeping stupid

can't wait till she posts a reading of it on YouTube from an echoey hotel bathroom complete with motivational self-talk and constant references to a notebook
 
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HotesTilaire

HotesTilaire

kachoochoo said:
you know what else is just absolutely dreadful about that year 9 effort of a poem?

each verse starts off with the metre of a limerick. it just sounds so bleeping stupid

can't wait till she posts a reading of it on YouTube from an echoey hotel bathroom complete with motivational self-talk and constant references to a notebook
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I tried reading more, the rhymes don’t match. Like a 90s teen allowed a go on a mixing deck
 
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ChickenPorridge

ChickenPorridge

I haven't been able to bring myself to compose a comment about the poem. That she's retweeting it in an attempt to maximise the pitiful amount of likes it aptly got is the epitome of self-indulgence. I actually cannot wait for the imminent Twitter-break departure announcement (though short lived it will be, of course).
 
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skronkywildcat

skronkywildcat

I can't look directly at the poem. I occasionally scan a line or two and have to look away in embarrassment, it's so objectively tit and awful and such an insult to the people whose lives she has mined for mawkish attention and pity for HER, not for them.
 
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People-huv-tae-know

People-huv-tae-know

People-huv-tae-know said:
Shameful bastard. Its the brexit tins all over again. First she induces scaremongering, second she is richbabd hoarding goods that poor people would be better of with and thirdly she encourages her thick followers to do the same. bleep.
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Ugh my typos are embarrassing me. The shaking hand in Jack's video could be real or fake, shaking hands are cited as a symptom for alcoholics.
 
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Shawads

Shawads

Pocahontas said:
She should put the watch up her bottom like Christopher Walker and his dad did in Pulp Fiction.
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My favourite thing about this post is that you called him Christopher walker.
The whole post needs to get on a t-shirt stat.
 
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skronkywildcat

skronkywildcat

Has anyone heard the (comedy) song Incredible Thoughts by The Lonely Island?

Incredible thoughts
Incredible minds
I'm so overwhelmed
How did my brain conceive them?
A snow-white dove in the pitch-black night
A rain drop falls from tremendous heights
A wave crashes off of a cliff in Scotland
A child bites an apple, but the core is rotten
TV is free, but what is the cost?
We have GPS and yet, we're still lost
A carrot in the desert, a camel in the garden
A man with giant ears begging your pardon
What if a garbage man was actually smart?
A common misconception that we're tearing apart
And to a dog, dog food is just food
And to a sock, a mansion's just a big shoe
A Milk Dud, sitting in the acid rain
A housecat addicted to the cocaine
No teeth, unlimited floss
These are just a few of our incredible thoughts
Incredible thoughts, incredible minds
Too many great ideas inside
It's a miracle my head can contain them
My spectacular brain
For all humankind
Changing how we think about space and time
Now it's time to share them with the people
A ballerina waits for the bus
A number-one dad trophy covered in rust
An nun dunked in basketball living the impossible
A man breaks his leg inside a hospital
We just thought of that and it can change the world
World like a smart oyster full of pearls
Such as has an ultrasound of a new baby
With a Santa hat drawn on, yeah that's my kind of Christmas card
What if a butterfly was made out of butter?
These small thoughts could destroy Big Brother
The world's cutest kittens just hugging a dog
Just one of our incredible thoughts
What if one thought could cure the people?
What if one song could end all evil?
Imagine if a fish could play guitar
And also sing, it would sound bizarre like
"My name is Mr. Fish
These guys thoughts have granted my wish"
And that may have just changed the course of time
I swear my mind blows my mind, incredible
Incredible thoughts, incredible minds
Too many great ideas inside
It's a miracle my head can contain them
My spectacular brain
For all humankind
Changing how we think about space and time
Now it's time to share them with the people, my brain is a genius
Incredible thoughts
Incredible minds
I'm so overwhelmed
How did my brain conceive them?
 
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