Jack Monroe #249 Smart Price Custard Denier

[Hollaaa]

I’m intrigued as to how rice is sorted now. Is there someone out there sitting in a factory somewhere hand picking the perfect rice grains for the luxury rice with one of those jewellers magnifying glasses? Or do they put it in a giant sieve that all the big fat succulent grains can’t get through and the smol broken grains fall straight into the value range packaging. I bet it’s a combination of both.

Floor rice, 45p.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I’m intrigued as to how rice is sorted now. Is there someone out there sitting in a factory somewhere hand picking the perfect rice grains for the luxury rice with one of those jewellers magnifying glasses? Or do they put it in a giant sieve that all the big fat succulent grains can’t get through and the smol broken grains fall straight into the value range packaging. I bet it’s a combination of both.

Schrodinger's rice - simultaneously the crappy, broken grains and also exactly the same stuff that's in the more expensive packaging.

 

[FrumpyCat]

I’ve just realised because yesterday was so funny I had assumed all the jokes about Asda legal action were jokes but I appear to have missed something. Did they actually deploy the lawyers?

Probably not. Probably Jack pretending she isn't been ignored and Asda rhink she is dangerous.

But it would be really meta if Asda sent Jack a cease and desist letter about pretending that Asda had sent a cease and desist letter.

 

[Flash123]

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Jack's silence on this important issue is deafening. (Waiting for "Well my Dad use to give us all a ha'penny and half a sachet of Bird's custard mix")

My end of tooth fairy was when my mum forgot 2 days in a row so I realised it was all a scam and demanded my £1 from my parents.

 

[jenny2603]

I’m intrigued as to how rice is sorted now. Is there someone out there sitting in a factory somewhere hand picking the perfect rice grains for the luxury rice with one of those jewellers magnifying glasses? Or do they put it in a giant sieve that all the big fat succulent grains can’t get through and the smol broken grains fall straight into the value range packaging. I bet it’s a combination of both.

Charlie Bigham makes the poors sort it by hand for little more than a farthing a week in his vile sweatshops. Everyday he comes down with a panel of Tory Toffs and they pick out the pile of rice that looks the nicest and that goes to the premium ranges. Their work done for they day they settle down to a Bighams ready meal which they eat in front of the sad poors who will never know such luxury. Sometimes Michael Portillo kicks over a pile of the reject rice and roars "if you'd kept your legs shut you wouldn't be in this mess" and the poors have to work hard to get all the reject rice piled up again before it goes to Asda. The best these poors can up for is that one day Wicked Mr Bigham promotes them to "rice hider". Hiders are deployed to lurk in Asda stores hiding value and Smart Price products from Jack Monroe to stop her saving the poors with her Big Maths and recipes.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Aaaaagh she's on money box on radio 4 now. Go away!!!

 

[HotesTilaire]

Pure supposition on my part but I guess the friend is SB's dad and the 5 year old SB's sibling.
The thought of anyone's ovaries screaming makes me queasy.

Bloody narc, appropriating the kid to prefer her.
Sb’s Dad - <whoopie Goldberg “you in danger, girl” gif>

 

[Legionnairess]

Amazing. AND who needs more than 40 bags a week?? You can reuse a teabag so that's 80 cups.

She's a ghoul.

And had a duck off massive chest full of teas.

Sadly no calculator even for Jack. She's only a woman with a biro

With the film stuff already mentioned I just read this line like Julia Roberts in Notting Hil. ‘I’m just a woman with a biro, standing in front of a big Asda asking them to Non-Exec her.

Also the waking up to small child cuddling in also smacks of a crap rom-com too.

 

[blurstoftimes]

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ha!!! i’m imagining her being like the oracle in Midsommar, shut away in a room somewhere at the Asda head offices manically scribbling out the prices of things she remembers

 

[Django]

Sensible man just explaining that rent, utilities etc are more important than food. Definitely not Jack's voice, no sniggering or sniffing.

 

[Tommytwoguns]

Im new to all this. Sorry to say i was a vague admirer of ms monroe, back in the day. After the chaos of the last few days, im burning with the anger of the defrauded. Carry on.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Im new to all this. Sorry to say i was a vague admirer of ms monroe, back in the day. After the chaos of the last few days, im burning with the anger of the defrauded. Carry on.

You're in a safe space now

 

[thisisntreal]

What was that you were saying about the Big 4, Jack?

ETA - Link to article https://www.retailgazette.co.uk/blo...out-with-150m-after-keeping-40m-covid-relief/

I really don’t know why she’s sucking up to Iceland, as well as this ^ they literally pay the lowest wages out of all the major supermarkets…

 

[BlendedSlop]

Why is she always banging on about her noisy ovaries? Screaming when she babysits, groaning when she dips her finger in anchovy butter. Do they howl and wail when the postman knocks on the door? Go "Hnnnnnngggghhh" when she plates up some devilled eggs?

 

[Flash123]

I really don’t know why she’s sucking up to Iceland, as well as this ^ they literally pay the lowest wages out of all the major supermarkets…

It’s because she is angling for a deal. I would love the peach and chickpea curry to become an Iceland ready meal

 

[PoorPatrol]

Im new to all this. Sorry to say i was a vague admirer of ms monroe, back in the day. After the chaos of the last few days, im burning with the anger of the defrauded. Carry on.

Let it all out, pal! She can’t get you here, come into the light. Also, check the wiki if you haven’t already - all the crimes are there.

 

[Gettingallfatandsassy]

I really don’t know why she’s sucking up to Iceland, as well as this ^ they literally pay the lowest wages out of all the major supermarkets…

Agreed. Also, they may have a £1 "value brand" (which she applauded them keeping) but actually for some items it is much cheaper elsewhere, so the "value" can be questioned. Plus it is full of highly processed rubbish. But because he kissed her arse its all good.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Yeah like anything, Iceland has it’s place in the market but also isn’t 100% good or bad. With its £1 pasta and no smartprice range.
I’m going for an eye test soon and if there’s no 45p rice in the opticians, I’m gonna kick off!

 

[FrumpyCat]

Pure supposition on my part but I guess the friend is SB's dad and the 5 year old SB's sibling.
The thought of anyone's ovaries screaming makes me queasy.

If it is Jack’s babydaddy she is babysitting for that makes it a bit creepy with the screaming ovaries.

 

[Veronicaaa]

While Jack's quiet I just wanted to put here FTR the last time we had photographic evidence of Mini - December 26th, exactly 2 weeks after Jack got her. Nothing since.