Well. It’s a recap you’re wanting, is it.
1. Jack’s media takeover continued, much to the dismay of the cabal, everywhere they looked in non-tattle media, there she was, saying being mean to Poors is bad, or whatever it is she goes on about.
2. A slight wrinkle in the Campaign was that the ONS had to explain economics and statistics to her, now she doesn’t understand either but is chucking around salient words and phrases as if she did
3. Who knows what Economics Editor and lover of numbers Chrismate at the FT has done to her? except calmly explain the numbers and agree.
4. Plot twist - she decided to go for Chrismate and give him a taste of her own medicine #bekind
5. All the Asda have smart price goods in. Newcastle does but she won’t pay £163 for a train there to buy it, you nincompoop! A game of “that one, no not that, that’s a bit different, no that’s not it” has ensued as squigs send in pictures of smart price pasta in the wild
6. It’s not ONLINE! smart price is two words Jack, just like thank you
7. We thought all of this started coz Shoeburyness Asda ran out of rice, turns out it’s coz Jack can’t operate the Asda website search function properly. Fruit and veg is GROWERS CHOICE now anyway
8. Just as Jack was looking like she was unraveling like a badly knitted oatmeal blanket, she decided to try and take down Asda. Tin foil hat firmly on (probs has fishy oil on it too) she deified previous owners, internationally renowned mercenaries Walmart, whilst accusing the new owners of trying to commit some kind of mass assault of the poor by only selling “extra special” Asda bread at petrol stations.
9. Did you know? Supermarkets pay poverty wages and make the benefits bill higher. Which they steal and include in their profits. Or some other Big Maths.
10. How do we pay for benefits? Taxes! Well not you, Jack Monroe, Director of On A Bootstrap Ltd who have 2 years overdue accounts.
11. Jack reckons she’s got “actual receipts” but you don’t know them, they go to a different school. With Mini and Dasher.
12. I hope she has an “actual lawyer” or a “literal intervention”
“Fame, fame, fatal fame” a young Morrissey mused, and look how he turned out.
idea the Vimes Boots Index is, or been told it exists in some form or other, by a forensic data/economics person. I hope so anyway. Or people are sending in too many receipts that mean nada. Great title 
)
I’m home tomorrow and will be going to Asda once I’ve unpacked etc. Quite surprised she’s still talking about this tbh
