Jack Monroe #236 You absolute whelksplat!

[Knit one Pearl one]

I might be alone in this but I found 15 year old Jack's quote in that conjoined twins article quite endearing in its simplicity: "We're putting ourselves in the shoes of conjoined twins."

If the article had been written now, almost 20 years later, her comments would have been 4-5 pages of hyperbolic purple prose in which she manages to centre herself in the unique challenges faced by conjoined twins every step of the way.

Also, the post where she shared the intro to the supposed new book can be found here:

Jack Monroe #151 A morally destitute and blatantly mendacious fraud?

Imagine seeing the book in the shop knowing nothing of the author, opening it expecting useful household tips, and being greeted with 1000 words of "Waaaaaaaaaaaah people are mean to me online."

I'm starting to disbelieve the story of her hiding her poverty from her parents. Her Dad would have known that she was no longer employed by the Fire Service.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

When people call her out, like the above squig, does Jack ever reply? I'm thinking ...not

 

[Orphan_Black]

When people call her out, like the above squig, does Jack ever reply? I'm thinking ...not

They get labelled bullying trolls.

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

I don't understand why she's chosen that profile pic. It's objectively one of the worst photos of her ever.

It truly is. Along with these two - the inexplicable wig phase and the inexplicable 'mullet' phase:-

 

[MooBelle]

So let me get this right. Per her new book, Jack’s been “faithfully hoarding bubble wrap for years” and “keeping it under the stairs” (in bin bags)? All the while keeping (he’s DEAD) Grandad’s battered sentimental pans and her sole copies of recipes-all of which are irreplaceable- in the garage?

So Jack’s house is full of bin bags of totally replaceable irrelevant shite, and their garage is (or was until burglary) full of boxes of…totally irreplaceable irrelevant shite?!

FML What a bleeping plum.

ETA also thinking of it, how is there an “under the stairs”? I thought chateau Monroe was a bungalow?

Not in any way shape or form is it a bungalow.
It is a really big 3 bedroom 2 bathroom detached house with a huge garden.
Currently valued at £750k by Rightmove.

Eta and Zoopla's guesstimate is £733k-£810k

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Squig is clearly cheesed off.

 

[Malkiavelli]

View attachment 960627

“Hello! And welcome to another episode of How To Completely duck Up Perfectly Good Food! - a show about the most elaborate and pointless ways the completely destroy the culinary creations of the stars! So ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, please give it up for your regular host and food-fucker-uper-extraordinaire, the one and only, shittest cook in Southend and probably the UK - Jaaaaaack M-o-n-Rooee!

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Spoiler: Human Hair

The Nazis used the hair of their victims to fill cushions and pillows it's the first thing I thought of when I read that about the tassels. Second thing is that the mourning Victorians wore jewellery containing hair or wrapped with the hair of family members. There are not a lot of positive connotations here. I can't believe Jack can't see that.... oh wait, she is a self centered narc so actually yeah

 

[Veronicaaa]

Spoiler: Human Hair

The Nazis used the hair of their victims to fill cushions and pillows it's the first thing I thought of when I read that about the tassels. Second thing is that the mourning Victorians wore jewellery containing hair or wrapped with the hair of family members. There are not a lot of positive connotations here. I can't believe Jack can't see that.... oh wait, she is a self centered narc so actually yeah

I mean, it really is some serious serial killer tit.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

I mean, it really is some serious serial killer tit.

*shudders* like her rusty knives collection.

 

[ecdb]

I might be alone in this but I found 15 year old Jack's quote in that conjoined twins article quite endearing in its simplicity: "We're putting ourselves in the shoes of conjoined twins."

If the article had been written now, almost 20 years later, her comments would have been 4-5 pages of hyperbolic purple prose in which she manages to centre herself in the unique challenges faced by conjoined twins every step of the way.

Also, the post where she shared the intro to the supposed new book can be found here:

Jack Monroe #151 A morally destitute and blatantly mendacious fraud?

Imagine seeing the book in the shop knowing nothing of the author, opening it expecting useful household tips, and being greeted with 1000 words of "Waaaaaaaaaaaah people are mean to me online."

She literally portrays herself as a victim in every single situation. Surely anyone who sympathised at the start must be on their last nerve ending by now? Nobody, i mean NOBODY is that unlucky.
plus, I’d like to state for the court records that I’ve never birthed another human being, but is it just me, or does she act like she’s the worlds first mother?
does every mother plan their child’s every hour (at a minder) with military precision?

I'm starting to disbelieve the story of her hiding her poverty from her parents. Her Dad would have known that she was no longer employed by the Fire Service.

Given how much she revels in discussions about this completely traumatic period in her life, I simply can’t believe she wouldn’t, at any single point, tell her parents she was showering in cold water.

 

[Veronicaaa]

plus, I’d like to state for the court records that I’ve never birthed another human being, but is it just me, or does she act like she’s the worlds first mother?

She also acts like she's this completely alone single mother with no support or help, when SB has a fully engaged dad and two sets of grandparents close by.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

She literally portrays herself as a victim in every single situation. Surely anyone who sympathised at the start must be on their last nerve ending by now? Nobody, i mean NOBODY is that unlucky.
plus, I’d like to state for the court records that I’ve never birthed another human being, but is it just me, or does she act like she’s the worlds first mother?
does every mother plan their child’s every hour (at a minder) with military precision?

From personal experience,the eternal victims are usually the bullies. All this shouting loudly about death threats and trolls is a major deflection from the fact that she has instigated pile ones, doxxed people, gaslit them and used very obvious bullying tactics like first naming those that dare to disagree. She is the biggest troll in town.

She is the same with the AA. Couple that with her questionable and insincere behaviour regarding recovery and addiction and you have another situation where yes there is an addiction but it certainly isn't alcohol.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I'm starting to disbelieve the story of her hiding her poverty from her parents. Her Dad would have known that she was no longer employed by the Fire Service.

It’s such bullshit. The sort of poverty she’s claiming (that I got scary close to for six months in my early twenties when literally did have £12.50 a week for food) is really noticeable, especially by loving parents. Mine lived 250 miles away so I really could hide it. The same town? Not so much. Did they never VISIT?? They literally fostered children and I don’t doubt for a second some of them would have been from desperately poor households (though of COURSE being poor is not an indication in any way of parenting skills. Lying and depriving your child when your parents could help out, not so much)

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Yay for the Viggles!

 

[Django]

She literally portrays herself as a victim in every single situation. Surely anyone who sympathised at the start must be on their last nerve ending by now? Nobody, i mean NOBODY is that unlucky.
plus, I’d like to state for the court records that I’ve never birthed another human being, but is it just me, or does she act like she’s the worlds first mother?
does every mother plan their child’s every hour (at a minder) with military precision?


Given how much she revels in discussions about this completely traumatic period in her life, I simply can’t believe she wouldn’t, at any single point, tell her parents she was showering in cold water.

It is worse. Jack wrote a detailed story account of her labour and Johnny's birth where she described her agonies and remaining silent throughout, also including the fact that she ripped a hospital radiator from the wall.
Her son is her precious boy but she had to grow up with feral foster children.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

It is worse. Jack wrote a detailed story account of her labour and Johnny's birth where she described her agonies and remaining silent throughout, also including the fact that she ripped a hospital radiator from the wall.
Her son is her precious boy but she had to grow up with feral foster children.

I’m sure I read an article where she had a proper massive whine about the fostering (and remember thinking, yuck) but I can’t find it now.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Yay for the Viggles!

The squigs/vigs are really on the ball at the moment! Keep going guys, we're rooting for you all!

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

She's awake!

 

[Veronicaaa]