Jack Monroe #236 You absolute whelksplat!

[Flash123]

ICO squiggle attacks!

 

[Veronicaaa]

Not sure if this has been posted, but the guy who was objecting to her AA tweets now feels uneasy going to meetings lest he ends up in the same room as Jack (I think he lives in her general area).

 

[Brian Butterfield]

It grates my stale slices when people say "love you" to people they barely know.

Love this, love you xxx

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Don't think this Squig is a troll - account opened in 2014, although very few tweets.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Yes, the public coughed up £68k for Cooking on a Bootstrap, which she said she was going to self-publish, but she then got a publishing deal for it so was paid twice for the same product. The one she got the publishing deal on was in the shops before the kickstarter one, it was in colour with photos unlike the kickstarter one and IIRC it was at a lower price point. Many people who supported her via the kickstarter complained when years went by and they never received anything, and she posted and emailed loads of passive aggressive updates which detailed how her health was failing and could people stop BULLYING her etc. God knows where all the money went and God knows why it wasn't picked up by any papers - although the Guardian, for example, completely enabled her by publicising the kickstarter from the beginning. You can read some of the updates here



and some complaints here

Didn't she say most of the £68k went on postage (for books that mysteriously never arrived after vanishing into the black hole that is the Southend postal service)? Then asked overseas backers to pay additional postage, two years after they should have had their books!

When you add to that the numerous "I'm lugging suitcases full of books to the post office 17 times a day in the pouring rain with two broken legs and a prolapsed anus, I HOPE THOSE OF YOU COMPLAINING ARE PROUD OF YOURSELVES" posts, I'm still astonished she got away with the whole thing.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

 

[colouredlines]

Just been looking through her twitter likes and did we know already that she wrote and printed out a Christmas recipe card which tells you how to make a toastie??

View attachment 968407

Assemble your sandwich in the usual fashion for thread title?

 

[Pocahontas]

‘Structural integrity an issue’ ... yeah, I’d say so. That recipe is basically fried baba ganoush - about as much structural integrity as a fart in the wind.

 

[colouredlines]

Why is she air-drying the stuffing then deep-frying it? Where logic?!

Anyway, Jack's website crisis has led to a LOT of her archives suddenly being online. I've been screenshotting my way through them for a few days, without saying anything here in case they mysteriously vanished again. A lot to unpack soon! But today - in the spirit of Jack's recent rants about non-alcoholic drinks - I have a treat for our teetotal Frauen:

Just imagine turning up to a party, mentioning your sobriety, and being given a glass of Sainsbury's Basics vinegar. Cheers!

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Yay for the Viggles!

 

[Ninch55]

This one?

Just what I needed - watching someone unwind bendy dildos from their hair and then do a Timotei shaky-shaky, followed by a vile fucking gurn. On a plus note, my GP has signed me off work to give me time for recovery from a bad depressive episode and you lot, amazing, lovely cabal, are keeping me going xxx big love

 

[JeanBurns76]

It is - and it’s time expense as well. My lunches for the week consisted of a loaf of bread and x5 little microwave pouches of beans (WITH THEIR JUICE) that Morrison’s used to do for 20p. Occasionally I could get the cut price crumpets which was a treat. Dinner was always pasta bake that I’d eke out over three days. And I wouldn’t have had time to grate my fucking bread and dice aubergine - I needed to sleep! Missed a trick, didn’t I?

I understand… I really was a poor single mom! I’d eat toast for breakfast dinner and tea! I used to go to bed really early to save on my utility bills. I didn’t have a dad around for my child. Over 20 years ago I was on something called Income Support. Not sure if single parents still get it now. I had virtually no life. A friends Dad gave me a job at the pub he managed, just doing the cleaning, I could take my little one with me so it was such a pick me up! An then my ex (who was a proper nasty piece of work) grassed me up! Ok, hands up, I was a bit naughty because it was cash in hand… but I was hardly raking it in! It was just an extra few quid a week so I could actually have my central heating on! I had to admit to it an they said I was allowed to earn £20 a week on top of the benefit. So luckily it didn’t really affect me to much. If I remember correctly, I just had to declare every week what I’d earnt! If I went over the £20 the extra came off my benefits. She really annoys me because people are living hand to mouth doing minimum wage jobs an she’s using aubergines in recipes! She’s no idea what real poverty is. I did everything I could to get myself in to work once my son grew up. I went to uni an built a career, I didn’t beg for money on Social Media! I hate people who play the victim.

 

[Veronicaaa]

How can she make this plate of food any *less* appetising

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Let us not forget she also astro-turfed under the spiral staircase that goes to the upper floor in her bungalow. I don't remember seeing photographic evidence, I only remember this quote by dear heart @TurnedUpInTipp that still makes me hoot violently. Sorry, I've had to squiggle your avatar, it's too upsetting.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

If anyone told me to call when I attempted to email them, they would remain unspoken to

 

[ecdb]

I’m sorry for repeating topics that the veterans of this thread will have read and discussed many times over, but given the extreme poverty she experienced, why would she write this (Guardian 2019) about SB’s father:
“A few years, and many more practical jokes later, I nervously told you I was pregnant. You didn’t hesitate. “Anything you decide to do, anything you need, I’ll support you,” you said. I was so frightened, and you were so strong and steadfast. It’s been that way ever since.”

With that level of reassurance and offer of support, why was she alone on Christmas Day 2011 in a freezing cold house with no hot water, no presents at all (didn’t anyone buy her or SB anything?) and no food in the fridge which was switched off at the mains?
Couldn’t she have gone to her parents, or given how supportive SB’s dad is/was, is it reasonable to believe left her sitting in her own misery with only her urine for warmth on Christmas Day?

If this is true then instead of calling him “my son’s father – the most decent man I’ve ever met” I’d have called him a heartless bastard.

It’s all too much for me, this.

 

[colouredlines]

Also I only just noticed that she wants you to cook black olives until they "brown and soften".

Has she ever actually met an olive in real life?

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Mr Krabs]

Yeah, the word bisexual is right there, Jack.

We prefer the term Lesbian (ish).