Jack Monroe #228 The winter of our fishcontent

[EllaEm87]

Oh Slopbot, I think I got the best gift of all

I shall place it right beside my bed.

@traumatised sideboard we don’t deserve you!!

 

[PortiaControl]

Actually do Wilko's sell tampon pineapples?!

 

[Mr Krabs]

I was watching some Xmas Simpsons episodes earlier and Jack made a special appearance.

 

[lilamay]

Mayo with 100% free range eggs - perfect for this 100% vegan! Thank you so much @traumatised sideboard, I shall bung it in a cake stat.

 

[Hollaaa]

I got the fishbone necklace. Maybe I'll try for another one tomorrow. And the day after that. And the next day.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Oh Slopbot thank you!!!!! I'm off to do a duet with Billy Bragg

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Jack can join in. I've got a secondary puddle stocked with just the thing.

Spoiler: click to take a dip

pillock

 

[Misslucky]

* had to comment still got 4 pages to grunk but*
That poor kitten after what happened last time you’d have thought someone in her family would have put a stop to more pets

I hope to god we don’t get any more soft kitten porn this time with a semi naked jack

 

[Tabitha D]

I have a cat, a sensitive soul. I would have loved a second but it’s too late and I know his nose would be put out if there was another cat about. Cats will leave if they feel replaced.

anyway… Tom K is up in Jacks niche doing cheap Christmas dinner. Guess what Jack it looks tasty, there are potatoes and he does a Boxing Day leftovers recipe with an egg!

Is it a snotty egg, though?

 

[Lyricallie]

Yas my very own foliage that I totally found in my garden and didn't come as part of my fancy flowers. Thanks slop bot!

 

[OpalMushroom]

How you introduced the kittens to your cats shows that you were thinking of the welfare of the kittens. The difference with JM is, that everything revolves around her. It’s “look at me” I have a kitten, stuff looking after it properly.

That‘s my main priority - I want all of our animals to feel safe and comfortable here. Jack doesn’t seem to care as long as it gets her attention online, which is disgusting.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I am glad you enjoy your presents dear hearts, the puddle took weeks to stock as some of the items are very exclusive and sought after. Make sure to show them off and be unnecessarily aggressive when people ask where you got said item from because POOR PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED NICE THINGS and it was GIFTED anyway.

Thank you both, I shall wear mine on a train and shout, it’s Casio, witch!

 

[OpalMushroom]

Can’t believe I forgot Slopbot exists: ‘My latest creation is chilli flake, tea and lettuce cake. I snacked on it loudly on a non-essential jaunt to Edinburgh during a pandemic and the bot from Mel Donte he say 'our fruit is the best we include the zest'

 

[JuliaGulia]

Thank space you Father Slopbot! This will be so handy to show people when they tell me white trash shouldn't breed next time I get a train!

 

[Shawads]

I am glad you enjoy your presents dear hearts, the puddle took weeks to stock as some of the items are very exclusive and sought after. Make sure to show them off and be unnecessarily aggressive when people ask where you got said item from because POOR PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED NICE THINGS and it was GIFTED anyway.

thanks so much. I got original opal fruits.
Whats everyone's favourite flavour?

 

[Ninch55]

Can’t believe I forgot Slopbot exists: ‘My latest creation is chilli flake, tea and lettuce cake. I snacked on it loudly on a non-essential jaunt to Edinburgh during a pandemic and the bot from Mel Donte he say 'our fruit is the best we include the zest'

Yeah, but did you kick anybody?

 

[Tabitha D]

View attachment 920804

FFS.
This is really pissing me off, so I’m going to have a glass of wine and then off to bed, but a small rant before I do, and just in case Jack is reading:
Cats are wild animals by instinct - no matter how cuddly and docile they might be (and many aren’t). Understanding this is key to being a good cat “owner”. Not only this, but cats are small animals and are therefore programmed to see themselves as prey (which they would be in their original homelands of Africa and Asia). That’s why they’re always hiding or seeking sheltered spots with a bit of defence, like boxes.
This kitten is a baby, very recently separated from its mother. It has lost its sense of security and been thrust into a new and strange environment. It needs a lot of intensive one-to-one attention and loving care and protection while you get it used to its new environment. The poor thing is terrified because it has been thrust into a strange new world where it fears it is prey, its mother is not there to protect it, and a huge older male cat is looming over it and showing intimidating body language - plus its new “carer” () ís only interested in taking pics.
Jack is a ducking disgrace.

 

[Cackstinks]

This kitten doesn't look particularly healthy either. Its front legs are very short.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Tabitha D]

I suspect inbreeding is a distinct possibility, unfortunately.