Jack Monroe #210 Granola provider? Not so much

[traumatised sideboard]

I see your soupception and raise you an insouption.

The Weetabix cake would truly be a disaster. My mum (who is normally a competent baker) tried making one a few years ago and it was like eating a rubbery brick. I actually bought off-brand Weetabix the other day because of this thread but I didn't pulverise all of them to make wallpaper paste. I have my own patented method for the perfect way to eat them. I shan't tell you what it is now though, I am BUSY turning into Tank TS and doing my daily Pythagoras calculations.

 

[HotesTilaire]

There is a big difference in the way that people view big companies who have a monopoly and independent artists. Jack aside, since she hasn't done anything in a year, it's really sad the way that people view individuals trying to make a name for themselves using platforms like Patreon.

Take a look at her smol robot friend, or the wiki about the Kickstarter book

 

[Flash123]

There was no suspension. For a child to be suspended from primary school there would need to be a catastrophic chaos. She’s lying!

 

[LennyBriscoe]

She needs to attempt the weetabix cake.

Jack cooking an actual brick would probably turn into a fossilised brick.

Was I dreaming (or as I like to call it, having a nightmare) about Jack grinding up loads of Weetabix for SB’s breakfast??

ETA - phew, @HotesTilaire I take it From your post it wasn’t some horrific hellscape vision

@Powershower call me a pretendy Mod but I’m going to have to ask you to either change your Avatar, your photo decks me every time (obvs that’s a joke, please stay!)

 

[Orphan_Black]

There was no suspension. For a child to be suspended from primary school there would need to be a catastrophic chaos. She’s lying!

It's from her transition time, SB was bullied because of Jack and 'defended' himself. She uses disgusting language in that article. She's so backwards when she proclaims to be the way forward.

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Was I dreaming (or as I like to call it, having a nightmare) about Jack grinding up loads of Weetabix for SB’s breakfast??

Nope, she really did (or so she says). Twas one of Jack's many useless timesaving tips.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Nope, she really did (or so she says). Twas one of Jack's many useless timesaving tips.

Did she top it off with a fried egg?

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Nope, she really did (or so she says). Twas one of Jack's many useless timesaving tips.

Jack Monroe, saving the day one shitey meal at a time

 

[LavaFlake]

There was no suspension. For a child to be suspended from primary school there would need to be a catastrophic chaos. She’s lying!

He probably got informally sent home for the day because he was upset. Lying by omission as ever!!!

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Did she top it off with a fried egg?

Shush, Orphy B! Don't give her ideas...

 

[ChickenPorridge]

He probably got informally sent home for the day because he was upset. Lying by omission as ever!!!

If it even happened which of course is always the possibility with Jack. Why on earth would they 'suspend' a 5 year old after an altercation with a "much older child", surely much older child would take the brunt of the repercussion given that they were bullying a young kid. It's like people read what she says but they don't really READ it.

 

[kachoochoo]

aren't we due Jack's Big Opinions On Strictly (although she never watches the Precariously Placed Telly) this year by now?

like, where is the outrage that Tom and Amy are having to isolate, just like the kicking off she did when Nicola + Katya had to withdraw last year?

 

[anon12300]

Take a look at her smol robot friend, or the wiki about the Kickstarter book

Oh I remember the kickstarter thing. No idea who smol robot is.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Oh I remember the kickstarter thing. No idea who smol robot is.

He moans on twitter that his freelance drawings of pretend robots and patreon don’t pay nearly as much as his former job

 

[kachoochoo]

Oh I remember the kickstarter thing. No idea who smol robot is.

babe, please read the wiki.

smol robot man is a long-time defender of jack who gave up a perfectly stable job (as I've stated many times, it's my job!) in order to sell crappy sketches online

 

[Lanie]

He moans on twitter that his freelance drawings of pretend robots and patreon don’t pay nearly as much as his former job

Well then i think is answer is in his question. Get a proper paying job.

 

[Cookiecookie]

What on earth would cause a five year old to be suspended? What did he do??

Isn't that when she said he'd punched someone for using a slur towards her? A slur very few young children would actually know though, so who knows the actual truth. Also, kids aren't usually suspended for a single incident, so if he really was suspended then there must have been a lot more going on with the poor lad.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

ah yes, the jaffa cake mug pudding. yum

View attachment 791602

That looks like a mug of diarrhoea oh hi hay as the Big Yin used to say . VILE (channeling Linda la Hugues) sickly bowl of old gelatinous muck

 

[Sideboard Bob]

Oh I remember the kickstarter thing. No idea who smol robot is.

I promised myself I wouldn’t mention the robot man ever again, but it did lead to @traumatised sideboard ’s genuinely iconic Slopbot.

The journey starts here, enjoy.

Jack Monroe #113 I beg your pardon, she’s got a hammock in her rented garden

My take is that her “non-binary trans” phase was so short lived and quite a few years ago, she doesn’t identify with it at all anymore. Of course, when people accuse her of detransitioning* she says “of COURSE I’m still non-binary” but her heart isn’t in it. That was then, this is now. *Which...

tattle.life

 

[L3moning]

I could be ... quite aggressive in defending myself at both primary and secondary school, and the worst punishment I ever got was being put in isolation for a couple of days (where I probably got more work done than normally).

And this including such behaviour as bouncing someone's head off a wall, choking someone till his lips turned blue and throwing a chair at someone. I will caveat this that the school were aware that I have ADHD and Asperger's, so were perhaps a bit lenient, but still. I should also point out that I have mellowed out somewhat as an adult.