Jack Monroe #21 If you cut me do I not bleed mayonnaise? #jacklivesmatter

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Unfortunately I think it's been based on customer life time value/tenure which is pretty bleak to think about, however they are working with the gov't scheme to get vulnerable customers added to the list, too, but working in eCommerce I imagine those are the measures we'd use to prioritise customers if a similar constraint fell upon us...

I'm allowed a slot every 7 days and can book up to 18 days in advance, I currently have 3 logged with them and I check in every few days to add another if anyone is a regular customer and trying/struggling keep clicking the calendar. They will email you if you're eligible, they emailed us when they went from every 10 days to every 7 days for example. We haven't had to prove our worthiness (although I would be eligible) - but we've been at least weekly customers for 5 years with the 'full' £9.99 a month smart pass, pre-lockdown were averaging a £60-70 week spend with them and during lockdown about £130 so it makes good business sense for them to keep giving us more slots I suppose. I know that sounds ghastly and very JM of me (I'm certainly not buying ice!!) but Ocado are genuinely our only lifeline to the outside world at the moment as I'm shielding with a high risk pregnancy and other health issues, so that weekly shop is *all* we can feasibly get in the house without having to use deliveroo to supplement it from local corner shops at a huge cost...

I can see that you would be more (and this isn't a dig at all) 'worthy' of a slot than a middleaged hag on immunosuppressants who cancelled the Delivery Pass in favour of ordering once a month for £180 - but I can't even get as far as the calendar because they decided in April that I wasn't on The List, even though the other supermarkets managed it. It's annoying because were it not for Mr Dragon breaking the rules that are designed to not kill me off to get what he can from the Co-op, we would be entirely dependent upon online deliveries as well; were it not for him, I'd have been out shopping with a full blown respiratory virus until I got the Sainsbury's email the best part of a month later.


There just doesn't to be any logic in telling me I'm not on the list when I am. And I would have continued to buy, considerably more as well, had they done so.

 

[Saint_clemmie]

I genuinely believe there’s no attempt to trace us, there’s no Lawyer and I’ll even hedge my bets that there’s no friend. She reads here, she is fuming that we’ve sussed her out and she’s just chucking ridiculous statements about. I’m not on twitter but do any other blue tickers behave like this? Or do they have people around them who advise them on SM interaction, how to do deal with negativity (warranted or otherwise) etc

If she posts something about a ‘troll’ getting the Police on her then we’ll definitely know she reads here

she only writes those comments on social media for our benefit.

 

[FrumpyCat]

I've heard of a few but not many. In other news, i've just pulled out 23 pans 4 of them varying sizes of frying pan, that I don't need, from the pan cupboard. Plus a really big spider and a copy of my birth certificate ... I've kept 4 pans, that I like, plus a big and a small wok, a pizza tray and a paella pan , a cast iron griddle [an, cast iron casserole and a lasagne dish- oh and a bamboo steamer for dim sum and a metal steamer set i'd forgotten I bought when my electric steamer gave up - am I posh?

I quite often find stuff in the kitchen that I have no recollection of buying, in particular a lot of baking trays including silicone ones. Neither of us bake.

Off thread. Has L Fox, aka the former Mr Billie Piper gone for blackout Tuesday, or does he still think thst, as a white male from a wealthy background, he is a member of an oppressed minority?

 

[Nonnymouse]

Ocado isn't really on brand either - by all means shop with ocado but don;t tweet about it, mention lidl and ald, even teso and asda occasionally

 

[Bobtheknob]

No. I refuse to put one pence in JMs pocket. She promised superfan her book and she needs to honour that. If she doesn't then she should be ashamed of herself.

I don’t think she does shame.....

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

I quite often find stuff in the kitchen that I have no recollection of buying, in particular a lot of baking trays including silicone ones. Neither of us bake.

Off thread. Has L Fox, aka the former Mr Billie Piper gone for blackout Tuesday, or does he still think thst, as a white male from a wealthy background, he is a member of an oppressed minority?

Sensibly enough, there's nothing on his IG for three days. Better to shut the hell up than take up space on the feed with posting a black screen, I suppose....

 

[FrumpyCat]

how many recipes can she come up with for mayonnaise? So far I have potato salad, tuna mayo and these brownies - have these on me Jack

Rich Chocolate Brownies - Made with Mayo!

Rich, gooey, and deliciously simple chocolate brownies with mayonnaise are a great treat on their own, or add a scoop of ice cream!

fussfreeflavours.com

You can do scones, tuna mayo, I'm sure there is more.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

I can see that you would be more (and this isn't a dig at all) 'worthy' of a slot than a middleaged hag on immunosuppressants who cancelled the Delivery Pass in favour of ordering once a month for £180 - but I can't even get as far as the calendar because they decided in April that I wasn't on The List, even though the other supermarkets managed it. It's annoying because were it not for Mr Dragon breaking the rules that are designed to not kill me off to get what he can from the Co-op, we would be entirely dependent upon online deliveries as well; were it not for him, I'd have been out shopping with a full blown respiratory virus until I got the Sainsbury's email the best part of a month later.


There just doesn't to be any logic in telling me I'm not on the list when I am. And I would have continued to buy, considerably more as well, had they done so.

Oh I’m by no means defending them it’s just the picture I got. I was utterly panic stricken month one as we couldn’t get anything where they took the site off altogether, it’s a lifeline and they should do better at more evenly distributing it! I can’t imagine how stressful this is and I’m sorry they’re putting you through this Have you got Twitter? I’d honestly try DMing them and explaining your situation, they’re usually really good on there and resolve it instantly.

Tbh from a business / ecomm point of view they’re risking a ton of customers never returning so it makes no sense to me why they haven’t facilitated monthly orderere?! Like they could knock me down to one every 10 days to fulfil yours easily. I’ve noticed a significant improvement in available slots over the last few weeks where people must be going back to normal shopping or their old combo of monthly / weekly top ups?£

 

[Nonnymouse]

Off thread. Has L Fox, aka the former Mr Billie Piper gone for blackout Tuesday, or does he still think thst, as a white male from a wealthy background, he is a member of an oppressed minority?

he hasn't posted the black sqare on insta

 

[Readingismyhobby]

Shes just pissed she cant control the narrative.

ie- her lies

 

[J4n0Z]

I quite often find stuff in the kitchen that I have no recollection of buying, in particular a lot of baking trays including silicone ones. Neither of us bake.

Off thread. Has L Fox, aka the former Mr Billie Piper gone for blackout Tuesday, or does he still think thst, as a white male from a wealthy background, he is a member of an oppressed minority?

I was just wondering what that delightful gentleman made of BLM (no really, I actually was). Something tone deaf no doubt.

After the QT controversy, he apparently got dumped by his girlfriend and begged his brother in law (Richard Ayoade if you don't know) to step in on his behalf. Apparently Richard declined to do so...

Back on thread - I was added to Sainsburys vulnerable customers list which was enormously helpful when the lockdown started and everyone went loopy over toilet roll. Not sure how or why but I regularly got deliveries before that so I was already on their radar.

ETA: just had a nose poke at Foxy's twitter (no, I don't have anything better to do) and he's posted a version of "all lives matter".

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Oh I’m by no means defending them it’s just the picture I got. I was utterly panic stricken month one as we couldn’t get anything where they took the site off altogether, it’s a lifeline and they should do better at more evenly distributing it! I can’t imagine how stressful this is and I’m sorry they’re putting you through this Have you got Twitter? I’d honestly try DMing them and explaining your situation, they’re usually really good on there and resolve it instantly.

Tbh from a business / ecomm point of view they’re risking a ton of customers never returning so it makes no sense to me why they haven’t facilitated monthly orderere?! Like they could knock me down to one every 10 days to fulfil yours easily. I’ve noticed a significant improvement in available slots over the last few weeks where people must be going back to normal shopping or their old combo of monthly / weekly top ups?£

I won't be returning. I'll just order from Waitrose/Sainsburys when things calm down. Shame, really, I'd used them exclusively since the early 00s.

 

[Betty Neumar]

Photographer: 'Give me sexy mayonnaise'
Model: '...'

(Yeh. Ok. Sexy mayonnaise. I already heard it back. You might as well all enjoy it too though)

I don’t have sexy mayonnaise...

Can I.....?

 

[PennyLoafer]

I was contacted via instagram asking if I wanted to contribute to the show and messaged them this morning about blackout - they knew nothing and neither did jack they're using hellmanslarderlockdown but just for messages

That's *very* interesting @Nonnymouse - from her posts below, Jack makes it sound as though she was totally aware of the blackout.

And what is this world salad? FYI Jack, when you say 'harassed by troublemakers', I think you mean 'held to account by people who can see through your lies and grifting'. Your real concern is the truth about you being revealed to your audience via Tattle.

 

[Jelly Bean]

'Exposing people to the underbelly of harm'?
Rubbish. Every single person she has appeared with has been universally praised here. Every single one.
The only person exposed to harm because of associating with Jack was Matt, being called a p*ick by her chum Ruby. Which Jack did eff all about afair.

 

[Okab15]

That's *very* interesting @Nonnymouse - from her posts below, Jack makes it sound as though she was totally aware of the blackout.

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Also, what the duck is this? FYI Jack, when you say 'harassed by troublemakers', I think you mean 'held to account by people who can see through your lies and grifting'.

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Also we’re generally pretty keen on her colleagues! We love Matt and Shivi a lot!!

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

That's *very* interesting @Nonnymouse - from her posts below, Jack makes it sound as though she was totally aware of the blackout.

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Also, what the duck is this? FYI Jack, when you say 'harassed by troublemakers', I think you mean 'held to account by people who can see through your lies and grifting'.

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This is so utterly disingenuous.

We loved the DKL guests & it must have killed her. How many people here bought a book off the back of the show alone ffs? I feel like a lot of people bought Shivvi’s ice kitchen...

 

[poppycat]

she only writes those comments on social media for our benefit.

@Saint_clemmie you are so right!
She's trying to frighten people into silence.
Her comments are absolute nonsense.

 

[Veronicaaa]

This is so utterly disingenuous.

We loved the DKL guests & it must have killed her. How many people here bought a book off the back of the show alone ffs? I feel like a lot of people bought Shivvi’s ice kitchen...

I mean, even the publicist who was interviewing her on that facebook thing, we all fell in love with!! I can't think of a single person she's professionally interacted with who we haven't actually really liked.

 

[spirals]

Chetna had put up her instagram black rectangle at least 2 hours before Jack added hers - and without writing long winded explanations about herself.

It was Chetna who was supposed to be on right (sudden panic that I got that wrong)??