Jack Monroe #206 I wouldn’t trust her with a spam fritter

[heretoreaditall2019]

How has she gone from liquid dinners to something that you could break a tooth on? In the pursuit of #sources found out her family home had a 5 ring range master, idek what this is but impressed they managed to fit one in the one bed flat she feigned growing up in for a minute

Thank god they do free delivery on these x

 

[Marj24]

Far too earlier for a thread suggestion but just a bit of whimsy. You can't polish Jack Monroe but you can spray her with glitter!

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Top notch grunk, haven't had a strange and startling visit in a while. Wheezing at "everyone keeps asking me where I get this gold spray". Jack, hun, you've had comments turned off on all posts for the best part of a year, nobody is asking about anything least of all that horrific gold food spray.

 

[Captainmouse]

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Spoiler: The full picture

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Bottom of a fish tank?

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

I’m gonna go on Hinch thread and ask if she’s still a hairdresser

Ah, come on Alan, you know you want to go on the Mario thread and talk about his fluffy Autumn ring.

All bets are off this evening, I feel like I've fallen into another dimension.
Slug eggs are the new worst egg.

We need categories peeps.

Land eggs (normal slug eggs, hens’ eggs, ostrich eggs)

Air eggs (quail eggs- did we establish they fly a bit?, duck eggs)

Sea eggs (sea slug [not actual slug] eggs, fish eggs)

 

[Boyo]

Is this recipie called "smash my biscuits up"

Little nod to prodigy. ( Sorry keith)

I’m a pile-on starter, twisted pile-on starter.
(Sorry guys.)

 

[LennyBriscoe]

Why would you want to lie down in your kitchen…

Charlatan!

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

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I don’t understand her cutting down on dairy to save money.

Milk and cheap, own brand yoghurt are not expensive.

Am I mistaken in pointing this out?

Cheese covered in nettles however…

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I don’t understand her cutting down on dairy to save money.

Milk and cheap, own brand yoghurt are not expensive.

Am I mistaken in pointing this out?

Cheese covered in nettles however…

You are spot on and you know what you would need milk for? You thought I was going to say the G-word didn’t you

Saying that kind of thing is what she would cut down on is just further confirmation that she never had to budget in her life.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

You are spot on and you know what you would need milk for? You thought I was going to say the G-word didn’t you

I reckon you need milk for budino, no?

(newsflash, there is a broccoli one on the sample menu at the moment!)

Spoiler: The G word

I am eating metaphorical granola right now. It is yummy.

 

[Veronicaaa]

How has she gone from liquid dinners to something that you could break a tooth on? In the pursuit of #sources found out her family home had a 5 ring range master, idek what this is but impressed they managed to fit one in the one bed flat she feigned growing up in for a minute

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Thank god they do free delivery on these x
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I think the words 'you can't plead poverty with a bloody Omega on your bloody wrist' are very telling and shows that at one time she saw the disconnect between her middle-classness and her new identity as a constantly poor, cold, starving smol Dickensian urchin. Like yeah it's probably best not to turn up at the job centre or the food bank (which she went to once, accompanying a friend, lest we forget) with a £4.5k watch or in your designer gear, and it's also best if you're going to make a career out of it to put all your high end goods out of sight. Jack Monroe: Pleading poverty since 2011.

 

[Fruitjack]

Pray for Mr F

 

[Cookiecookie]

Pray for Mr F

He must hate Sundays as much as we love them

Her attitude to poverty is very weird. And the more you read about it, you wonder how on earth no one (including myself initially) thought what a lot of bollocks it all is. It really is the Wattpad version of poverty. Surprised she's never added in the bit where she gets sold to 1D as their maid tbh

 

[Luna-Lovegood]

That is NOT rocky road.

Indeed it isn’t but it does seem to lack anchovies and is the first thing she has made in a long time that is actually edible (minus the weird flowers).

 

[Veronicaaa]

Just had a look at LJC's insta stories, my god she's really having the time of her life at the moment isn't she?! Off to a cabaret show, mingling with that Steph woman and Denise van Outen, looking fantastic #lovinglife

 

[SweetTransvestite]

I'd smash biscuits with you in a heartbeat

Slowly, slowly but intently catching up on all of last nights shenanigans <insert WTF gif> but woke Mrs ST up by loudly saying
"IT'S IN THE WIKI, FFS!"
So now I'm quietly but defiantly having to make my own coffee.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

This is a set up for a news story about bullying and how Tattle doesn't allow positive comments.

 

[FlashBoof]

There is no ducking way she has found a Global in a puddle. Man - I cook for a living, intermittently, and I couldn’t justify a set of Globals. Procook all the way. It’s the exact same thing as wearing a proper chefs apron (navy/black stripe) instead of any sort, or none. Cosplay. Can’t pay ANY tax beyond a bit of VAT on her spendthrift habits but CAN but expensive chef knives for chopping up biscuits. And I bet my house she didn’t just get the one, either.

So, Louisa comes back from Japan. Bags one of the biggest sporting event for her channel. GB (and a fair few Brits abroad with VPN) stop for two hours of an evening to see history made. Not our Jackie though. Attention seeking nonsense once again.

I too checked the #Insta hashtags relating to the Fortnums awards - no pixie. And I cannot imagine there wouldn’t be even a single shot of her - a grabbed selfie from one of the star struck newbies to these things. She wasn’t there.

Also - is there a count of softly, gently, quietly, returns to the kitchen going? That’s at least four now, isn’t it?

 

[Vanelope]

Don’t know what to make of it - but the inability of people to read the vast amount of previous info but wade in asking lots of questions of ‘so prove to me all of the above because in my opinion it’s all fine’ is very mansplainy. (Apols to our man-Fraus)

 

[Whaa?]

I was googling to see if Global knives were on sale in duty free, and discovered its a Japanese company .
It had occurred to me that perhaps LJC had brought her back a present.