Jack Monroe #206 I wouldn’t trust her with a spam fritter

[HotesTilaire]

I went to gifted school in the 80s, it was just extra school on a Saturday to do more and harder work, it was only for young kids though, like up to 12-13.
At age 6 To 7 I was reading the Famous Five and Secret Seven (less good) I think this is why I’m hypersensitive to glorious, wonderful, jolly Enid Blyton Jack.

 

[Captainmouse]

Her world must be amazing to live in. Imagine "being incredible" at everything in your own mind.

A legend in her own lunchtime

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Jack’s last attempt at writing about climate change involved an article in which she compared herself to Greta Thunberg

It also featured one of my favourite Jack fantasies of all time…the fantasy being that as a child she was basically Matilda
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In fairness to Jack Billy Blue Hat was boring Rodger Red hat was way better.
However what is she going on about? Parent governors can’t and wouldn’t say that. It doesn’t matter what she’s waffling on about there’s always a metaphorical glass ceiling in all her tales isn’t there?

 

[Luna-Lovegood]

Yes there isn’t a gifted and talented school but saying grammar school wouldn’t sound that special. I genuinely think she has some autistic traits but I am not sure if she has had a formal diagnosis as her diagnosis stories are implausible, contradict each other and are not how diagnosis actually works.

 

[colouredlines]

You know, I'm not even sure she knows she's lying.
She says it all with such conviction.
I read 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe ' when I was seven. I must be a bleeping genius (alas, I am not)
They stopped dishing out the 'Village with 3 corners' books in the eighties. That's where Billy Blue hat lived with his friends Roger Redhat and Jennifer and Johnny Yellowhat. My eldest is a couple of years younger than her and he read those god awful Biff and Chip books. Why is she pretending to be a child of the 70s?
Why would a parent governor ever speak to a Y1 child about what they are reading? What kind of arse would say something like that?
Why would a High School give a psychiatric cognitive test on a y7?
No such thing as a 'gifted and talented school ' unless they just meant a grammar school.
The fact she's got the balls to put all this into print is a sign of her Narcissistic personality. If a Narc says something then it is true, even if it isn't.

I had Roger Red Hat & co in the early 90s! Not in the UK admittedly, but the hats were still alive and well. I preferred Letterland. Good old Clever Cat, Kicking King, and those weird incest cousins.

Just joking of course, I was reading War & Peace in the original Russian.

 

[Powershower]

I made one of her tin can cook recipes once. Vile. Maybe it's me though, I'm not exactly a Michelin star chef.

Can categorically say not even a Michelin star chef would have any luck with one of Jack's recipes.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Lads I am concerned. I went to a supermarket with my mum earlier (it was Waitrose naturally, they let me in even though I am on benefits and have tattoos) and needed to get kidney beans. They only had kidney beans in chilli sauce so she suggested getting those and rinsing them. She then said could I not get some borlotti beans instead as beans are beans. I think I might have to softly, quietly, gently disown her.

 

[FrumpyCat]

imaginary characters who have wronged jack:

-Bullying parent-governer
-Old chief anti-traaaaazers on a bird
-Unnamed Journalists who laughed at Jack saying she wanted to write a book on the holocaust and predicting the rise of trump because she didn’t go to university
-Pret boardroom stealing her undisclosed but definitely real recipe
-White trash shouldn’t breed lady
-shin kicking victim
-Russell Brand, sometimes
-The whole of Southend because she has tattoos

feel free to add fraus

Some random bloke who chased her down a hotel corridor shouting, or something, because she tricked him in to thinking tinned something was gourmet cooking. I forget the details.

Teacher who Jack sent a book to.

Shop assistant is posh coat shop.

Someone in a bank who didn't think an armful of tit tattoos was identification.

 

[NP]

They stopped dishing out the 'Village with 3 corners' books in the eighties. That's where Billy Blue hat lived with his friends Roger Redhat and Jennifer and Johnny Yellowhat. My eldest is a couple of years younger than her and he read those god awful Biff and Chip books. Why is she pretending to be a child of the 70s?

Not being a Billy Blue Hat Truther but I’m Jack’s age and read them at school in Year 1. My school did have these curtains though so they weren’t exactly keeping up with the times.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[panda_eyes]

I had Roger Red Hat & co in the early 90s! Not in the UK admittedly, but the hats were still alive and well. I preferred Letterland. Good old Clever Cat, Kicking King, and those weird incest cousins.

Just joking of course, I was reading War & Peace in the original Russian.

Ah, Letterland! I'm a year older than Jack and I remember those guys...

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I can't tell you how much #frugalmama and #frugalmom annoy me...

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Some random bloke who chased her down a hotel corridor shouting, or something, because she tricked him in to thinking tinned something was gourmet cooking. I forget the details.

Teacher who Jack sent a book to.

Shop assistant is posh coat shop.

Someone in a bank who didn't think an armful of tit tattoos was identification.

The headteacher on Twitter who Jack apologised to after which there appeared to be the inexplicable watershed moment that initiated Jack 2.0.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

#cookingonaboostrap is this Jack's seasonal halloween branding?

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

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Isn’t cacio e Pepe meant to be one of the simplest and pared back of all pasta recipes?

I am sure it is definitely not meant to include courgette and halloumi.

Go and swing on your hammock in the late summer sun Jack and pretend that everything is A OK.

Cos it isn’t.

 

[Luna-Lovegood]

Isn’t cacio e Pepe meant to be one of the simplest and pared back of all pasta recipes?

I am sure it is definitely not meant to include courgette and halloumi.

Go and swing on your hammock in the late summer sun Jack and pretend that everything is A OK.

Cos it isn’t.

It is just meant to be cheese (pecorino Romano) and black pepper. Nothing else.
I’m sorry but halloumi does not go with spaghetti. The texture is just wrong.

 

[Pocahontas]

#cookingonaboostrap is this Jack's seasonal halloween branding?

Where’s the pumpkin spice?!
#robbed

 

[NP]

#italian #greekfood #countriesareinterchangeable

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

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Considering all the frugal and cheap hashtags isn’t halloumi quite expensive?

 

[Lanie]

You know, I'm not even sure she knows she's lying.
She says it all with such conviction.
I read 'The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe ' when I was seven. I must be a bleeping genius (alas, I am not)
They stopped dishing out the 'Village with 3 corners' books in the eighties. That's where Billy Blue hat lived with his friends Roger Redhat and Jennifer and Johnny Yellowhat. My eldest is a couple of years younger than her and he read those god awful Biff and Chip books. Why is she pretending to be a child of the 70s?
Why would a parent governor ever speak to a Y1 child about what they are reading? What kind of arse would say something like that?
Why would a High School give a psychiatric cognitive test on a y7?
No such thing as a 'gifted and talented school ' unless they just meant a grammar school.
The fact she's got the balls to put all this into print is a sign of her Narcissistic personality. If a Narc says something then it is true, even if it isn't.

Perhaps they meant MENSA.
There was kids in my sons year 2 class reading harry potter. The first couple of books. I know this because i saw them read them.

 

[Captainmouse]

#cookingonaboostrap is this Jack's seasonal halloween branding?

#cookingonaBOOstrap