You know, it looks like a giant wart with sparklers in.
Jack Monroe #203 Found a packet of pork mince
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Jack Monroe Threads Wiki
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
I read BiB as deceased and thought “yeah that could right too”
Genuinely not being OTT here, that looks like a toilet I recently had to unblock
I think Jack's recipes are more likely to attract comfortably off guardian readers who want to indulge in a bit of poverty cos play, or want to be able to tell the poors how to eat.
Her recipes used to be in the Guardian - if I'm on a really limited budget, I'll pop in to Asda. Shopping list economy stuffing, economy beans, spaghetti hoops, slimey yellow sticker salad and a copy of the Guardian. I don't think so.
And all that stuff about food banks handing out her recipes. Because poor people are too thick to work out what do do with a tin of beans.
Even with the star, Christmas cracker and sparklers, it's hard to imagine a picture looking less celebratory. Combined with the Southend Chainsaw Massacre soundtrack, it's one of the most WTF things she's ever put out into the public domain. I love it so much.
Because nothing screams festive in Jack land quite like a lump of unidentifiable stodge drowning in custard with what sounds like an emergency alert siren signaling the end is nigh.
Happy Tattle birthday @traumatised sideboard
Being the basic biatch that I am, I love all things Autumn/Winter. Seeing that Sparkler Surprise again has me excited for the endless possibilities that could surface for Jack's winter warmers, not to mention festive fare 
Leave the plain white china in 2020 though please Jack, give us a bit of tack! We know you have it!
Leave the plain white china in 2020 though please Jack, give us a bit of tack! We know you have it!
Happy Tattle birthday, @traumatised sideboard , you provide endless laughter for us. I always think that you have already peaked when there is yet another surprise waiting for us round the corner
You brought me to electroslop and I can't wait for new tracks (no pressure).
You brought me to electroslop and I can't wait for new tracks (no pressure).
I will always remember listening to Chop Chop (It's the Onion Police) and crying with laughter when I got to the line about killing a man with stuffing in soup.
No other thread comes close to this one, even though I spread myself about a bit. Trolls indeed!
No other thread comes close to this one, even though I spread myself about a bit. Trolls indeed!
high praise indeed for our sidey t from her very own creation
Ooooh, do you think she'll do another Christmas colab?Being the basic biatch that I am, I love all things Autumn/Winter. Seeing that Sparkler Surprise again has me excited for the endless possibilities that could surface for Jack's winter warmers, not to mention festive fare
Obviously my number one joy would be her going into the jungle/Castle (no, I will not let that rest) but after that I really will be a hootin and a fizzin for anything crimbo related!
Maybe another fake 'guest columnist' thingy for a right wing tit rag like the Express (like last year when she pretended to be a guest writer when it was in actual fact a paid for advert by Del Monte) She could try and beat last year's disgusting effort for her pretend Christmas Dinner cooked for a week in the slow cooker(straight in the bin...)
Or maybe she could do a thing with her BFF Marcus and that other bloke (Tom something or other...) to feed all of the children... and she could spin around in high heels and go viral.
Etc etc etc...
Coincidence that we get an update from BubbleBuddy/HouseMate/VeryGoodFriend on her Japanese adventure, at roughly the same time Jack drops an alcoholic tweet? I doubt it.
By the way, LJC genuinely looks lovely - slimmer face and longer hair. I had to look twice - didn’t recognise her at first. I hope this means she has moved on from life at the bungalow and eating depressipes.
By the way, LJC genuinely looks lovely - slimmer face and longer hair. I had to look twice - didn’t recognise her at first. I hope this means she has moved on from life at the bungalow and eating depressipes.
duck i thought she was recycling old material. Also how the fook does glam gran KP get into celebrity MasterChef but an actual cook ( celebrity at that) isnt?!
I think Jack's sparkler pudding was her foray into experimental installation art. The noise of frying electrical circuits makes me aware of the existential horror of being and the sparklers slowly burning down really make you reflect on the ephemeral nature of life. The custard represents how easy it is to become mired in your suffering and the wafer daisies represent the happy face we put on for social media.
Poca, you can't, that's illegal! The mods will arrest you. Oh. Never mind.
Poca, you can't, that's illegal! The mods will arrest you. Oh. Never mind.
Wow just took a look and she looks lovely and very happy. Being forced to start the day with 4 pints of acidic fruit yoghurt must really take it out of a girl
Maybe she's born with it? Maybe she's just escaped a massive narc
Oh Dear Heart I fear you may be disappointed knowing Jack it’ll be ice cream sundaes, salads and refreshing ice coldBeing the basic biatch that I am, I love all things Autumn/Winter. Seeing that Sparkler Surprise again has me excited for the endless possibilities that could surface for Jack's winter warmers, not to mention festive fare
Happy Tattle Birthday Sidey T. You and Slopbot never fail to make me 
and 
with your posts. I’ll never forget ‘Knock, Knock, it’s the Onion Police, they’ve come to take you away…’ You gave me an ear worm for days with that one, Legendary hilarious lyrics and a Tattle classic.
and with your posts. I’ll never forget ‘Knock, Knock, it’s the Onion Police, they’ve come to take you away…’ You gave me an ear worm for days with that one, Legendary hilarious lyrics and a Tattle classic.- Status